We all agree that understanding your body and how it works can help you become better at sex and more confident in bed. Knowledge is power, and power is hot. Knowledge can also help us overcome body shame and works a bit like a layer of insulation between us and mainstream, unrealistic,
unhealthy standards of beauty and gender presentation. But before we get into all the different wonderful things our genitals can do, let’s talk a little bit about genitals and how they work, while keeping in mind that they don’t define who we are.
You already know this is a book about lesbians, and lesbians are women, and women have vulvas. But it’s also important to talk about trans women’s anatomy, and trans women don’t have vulvas unless they have access to genital surgery, which is really expensive and often not covered by insurance. And some intersex women might not have standard vulvas. Women with certain forms of intersex, such as androgen sensitivity syndrome, might have an external vulva but not a vagina. It’s good to keep in mind that there are multiple ways to have a female body.
You can make this chapter more fun by dropping your pants, grabbing a big hand mirror, and
following along. While you’re down there, you can experiment with some new maneuvers and teach yourself a few tricks to try out on your hookups later.
VULVA
The parts you can see externally are generally referred to as the vulva, though most of us call it something less formal like “pussy” or “vag.” The vulva includes everything you can see between a pair of parted legs. The mons pubis is the cushiony spot above your vulva. It protects your pubic bone and is covered in pubic hair.
The next thing you see if you spread your legs is the outer labia, or labia majora. These are also
covered in hair on the outside, but the inside is smooth and covered in oil glands. Like most parts of a pussy, the outer labes are very sensitive to touch. They are analogous to the scrotum in men and are very fleshy and padded. They are designed to cover up all the sensitive parts inside, although in some ladies the inner lips and clitoral hood extend past the outer lips. This is one of these times where I feel it necessary to remind you that all genitals look different.
The inner lips, or labia minora, are the slippery little lips on the inside. They can be very small and tidy or long and unruly and most of the time they don’t match up. One is often longer or wider or darker than the other. The inner lips are more sensitive than the outer lips and many women enjoy having them licked and fondled. These lips surround the head of the clit, the urethral opening, and the opening to your vagina.
The head of the clitoris is covered in folds of tissue called the hood. The hood protects the sensitive glans of the clit. If you pull back the skin you’ll see the glans in all its pink glory, and that’s the part we’re usually talking about when we say clit.
The clitoris is a complex organ; most of it is internal and extends throughout your genital region.
There are three main parts: the clitoral crura, the head, and the shaft. The crura are the internal portion of the clitoris. They are 4 to 5 inches (10 to 12 cm) in length and extend back from the shaft in a sort of wishbone shape. These legs are partly responsible for making penetration so delicious. There aren’t a great deal of nerve endings on the vaginal walls, but the internal parts of the clitoris respond to
pressure and friction. This is why some of women have more intense orgasms with penetration and external stimulation than external stimulation alone. For the most part, however, it takes direct clitoral stimulation to bring a woman to orgasm.
The clitoral head is usually pea size and is located at the very top of the labia. It is the most sensitive part of the clitoris and rich with nerve endings. If you feel around under the hood of the clitoris you’ll find a rubbery cord extending from the glans. This is the clitoral shaft. The shaft connects to the glans and clitoral crura.
Just like cocks, clits vary greatly in size. But size really doesn’t correlate to sensitivity, so don’t worry about it if you have a small one. When a woman is aroused, the clit fills up with blood and gets hard, just like a cock. It expands in size and peeks out from its protective hood.
THE URETHRA AND PERIURETHRAL SPONGE
The urethra is the tube that stems from the bladder to outside your body. Urine and ejaculate are both released through this tube. Have you ever had a urinary tract infection? I have, and they’re the worst!
Some women get them pretty easily and this is because the urethra is relatively short and therefore susceptible to bacteria, especially if you are having a lot of really vigorous sex. Keep your hands and toys scrupulously clean and you’ll cut down on the possibility of getting an infection.
The G-spot, or periurethral sponge, is a spongy gland that surrounds the urethra. It’s not really a magical spot; it’s just a sensitive region of the genitals where a great deal of nerves are located and crisscrossing all over each other. You can find it by sticking two fingers in your date’s vagina and curving them up toward the top, as if you were going to rub the clit from the back. The ridgy, bumpy area is the G-spot. If she’s new to this kind of stimulation she might not know what to make of it. For some people it’s fantastic, for others it just feels like you have to pee. Other people take extra time to warm up to G-spot stimulation.
The G-spot responds quite nicely to pressure, and once you get used to the sensation it’s possible to orgasm this way. During arousal the sponge fills up with fluid and if you press on it while she’s coming, it’s quite possible that your special lady friend will squirt all over the place.
VAGINA AND VAGINAL OPENING
Vaginas are pretty great and have a lot more room in them than you’d think. Babies come out of vaginas and yet you can still clench your muscles around something as small as a finger. Vaginas are happier and more sexually responsive when they are stronger, so do your Kegel exercises!
Your vagina is a self-lubricating, self-cleaning organ with its own ecosystem. Wash your external vulva with mild soap and warm water; there is no need to douche or otherwise wash internally. Your vagina is naturally acidic, which helps your body fight off bacteria. A healthy pussy tastes slightly tart and smells sweet and a little piquant.
The entrance to the vagina is very sensitive; it feels really great to have it rubbed and probed and generally stimulated. It can be very sexy to tease a lover prior to penetration by rubbing around the vaginal opening. This can be staying external with strokes and petting, or you may find your partner enjoys you putting pressure around the interior diameter of her hole. If she’s turned on and wet enough, this can be an exciting new way to explore what penetration can do and how it can make us feel. If you’re up for it, leave the old “in-and-out” motion for later and instead delight her with
unexpected circles and play with different kinds of friction. Remember to think outside the box when it comes to getting into it!