When your prospect is considering your offer, or at least thinking through what youve told them, they will display other signals that will tell you whats going on inside. What you see in your prospects body language will tell you what you need to do in order to persuade them effectively.
For instance, when youre talking to your prospect, if their head is pointed straight up, you can be fairly sure they arent paying attention to you. Whenever someone is paying attention to what another person is saying, they will usually tilt their head to one side or the other. If you see your prospects head not tilted, ask a question or in some way get them involved in the conversation. Otherwise, youll be wasting your time.
If you see your prospect put something into their mouth, such as a pen, pencil, the earpiece of their glasses, or so on, this is a signal that says Tell me more . You can think of it as needing more food for thought . Keep giving them more information about what you are suggesting and they will readily accept the information.
On the other hand, if your prospect takes off their glasses and starts to clean them, or otherwise starts to fiddle with something, this
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is a signal that they have taken in all the information they can for the moment and they need some time to digest it. This is the appropriate time to lighten up the conversation with some kind of filler topic, or perhaps to allow for a moment of silence. When your prospect is ready for more information, they will ask for it.
Someone deep in thought will sometimes go into the classic
Thinkers Pose , with the hand coming up to stroke the chin or hold it with the fingers. However, if the chin goes into the palm, thats a sign that they are bored.
Another deep in thought pose is leaning back with arms folded across the chest. This closed position is sometimes associated with
closing off from the environment, which also happens when engaged in deep thought. Youll have to watch for other signals to know if it means that they are disconnecting from the conversation instead.
Disconnection
The closed posture, with arms or legs crossed, will usually mean your prospect is mentally moving away from you and canceling the connection between you. Depending on other evident signals, it may mean they are simply deep in thought, as discussed above. If you see other signs that your prospect is disconnecting from you, this is the time to work on re-establishing rapport and recreating the connection before its too late.
If your prospect starts to look away, such as towards the door or out the window, this could mean they are looking for a way out of the conversation. If they lean away from you, this adds to the message.
And if they throw something down that they had been holding (or their glasses if they wear them), thats a sure sign they want to break away from the conversation.
Setting something down is another matter, as it could simply mean they want to devote more of their attention on what you are saying.
However, it could also be a more subtle way of backing away from the conversation. If they simultaneously turn away from you in some way, you can take it as an indication you need to rebuild rapport and strengthen the connection between you. Go back to a topic of
Persuasion Training Page 155 Perhaps you can re-approach the current topic from a different direction.
If your prospects hand goes to their collar, they most likely feel under pressure, or hot under the collar . This could be good or bad depending on your objectives in the situation. In any case, it means they are uncomfortable with something you said. That is, unless theyre wearing a new shirt which doesnt fit very well. But if thats the case, the hand will go to the collar even in pleasant conversation.
A hand to the back of the neck is usually an indication of a pain in the neck , which could be you, especially if you are persisting in a topic your prospect has indicated is unpleasant. If this happens, you probably havent set a strong enough foundation, and need to go back and work on it. The foundation is the feeling of rapport between you and your prospect, and also includes the motivating factors associated with your offer.
However, the pain in the neck could also be the problem your offer will solve for your prospect, and it could be that they are just thinking about that problem at the moment. You should ask a question to determine which meaning to give the gesture.
If you see your prospect clench their jaw, know that they are experiencing some degree of anger. Again, this could be anger at the problem your offer will solve for your prospect, or it could be a response to how youve approached an issue. Experience and a few questions will tell you what is causing the anger.
Miscellaneous
Just to make sure weve covered as much as possible, here are a few other kinesics signals and what they mean.
One eyebrow raised can usually be interpreted as disbelief. Two eyebrows up are a reaction to surprise. Surprise can also be the cause of the forehead wrinkling upwards. If the forehead wrinkles down, its a sign of disappointment.
Most of us know that a shoulder shrug means I dont know , but few of us fully realize that it also means I dont care .
In men, a hand to the chest is a signal for honesty, yet in women the same gesture is a sign of shock.
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And lastly, a sigh is usually a sign that your prospect has mentally given up in some way.
In general, watch your prospect to find out what is normal and natural for them. If they deviate from their normal behavior, then take it as a sign that something has changed within their mind as well. The information Ive given you here is considered normal for most people, although it may be slightly different for some people. Never take a single gesture to mean anything without the collaborating evidence of similar gestures.
Use your newfound knowledge wisely as you peer behind your prospects mask.