Participants described moments in their recovery journey where they recognised their own abilities and where change felt possible. They began to take their power and transitioned from being passive receivers of care to being active seekers of their own
59
recovery. This enabled them to eventually get to a point in their recovery where they wanted to give something back, or they felt confident enough to pursue the role of PSW.
Sandra described an experience within mental health services when her therapist challenged her view of recovery in which she expected the therapist to be the one doing all the work. Although painful, this challenge helped her to become more involved in her own recovery. She commented:
“And she [therapist] said to me ‘Who’s going to be doing the work here?’ and I was saying ‘You’ I said to her. And she said ‘No, you’. And I said ‘What? Why should I … What’s it got to do with me? You’re paid, you’re here to you know fix me’ … and we had this big dispute and argument about it. I was horrified and left very disillusioned and
disappointed, but it was all I had left in the end. Maybe she shouldn’t have said it to me so early on, but I did come back and I realised yeah, she could guide me along the way and give me these skills to cope with difficult situations, but unless I actually went and put them into practice, and practised and practised and practised – I hadn’t a hope in hell really.” (Sandra, 647-656)
Sandra’s experience with her therapist initially left her feeling “horrified” that she would be the one “doing the work”, but at the same time it seemed to have led her to realise that she had a critical role in her own recovery. This painful challenge and realisation could be interpreted as a major turning point in her life which set her on the path to further recovery.
As with Sandra, Celia also spoke about an experience with mental health services which marked a turning point in her recovery. In Celia’s interview, she described her experience of being an inpatient and how the confusion she felt during that time prompted her to want to help others to have a more positive experience of being on a ward. She explained:
60
“I felt like the hospital environment really actually increased my psychosis, it was just such an unfamiliar environment, and I wanted to be a peer support worker because I wanted to be that person that would explain to someone why the nurses always say ‘handover’ or why there’s such specialised language that people are using.” (Celia, 24-28)
Celia could be implying that the mental health system had not been helpful to her. She had been in hospital to recover from psychosis, but it somehow made it worse. It seems that the jargon on the ward made the ward environment confusing, and this experience may well have been the catalyst to her wanting to be a PSW, because she wanted to make the ward a less confusing place for others.
For Richard, it appears that contact with mental health services enabled him to learn more about mental health and he found it quite a revelation. He began to think to himself that there must be other people like him, who just try to keep managing on their own without seeking help. He then wanted to help other people to learn about mental health:
“So, it was a big eye opener for me to start learning then about my mental health. I thought to myself there must be so many people out there like me who just think they need to keep getting up and keep going and trying to deal with this in ways which really don’t work and they’re not really helpful, not really - not really improving their mental health at all … and having no knowledge about mental ill health at all. And so, I thought, I’m going to possibly start making a change about that.” (Richard 77-87)
From Richard’s description, it could be concluded that becoming more aware about his own mental health was a critical turning point in his recovery and provided the motivation for him to make a change in his life. It seems that he was explaining how he had developed greater insight into the behaviours which had contributed to and maintained his mental illness. It is perhaps this realisation which spurred him on to want to help others, and that this gave him a goal and purpose to work towards.
61
The language Richard used emphasises the significance of this experience. During the interview, he spoke about contact with mental health services being “a big eye
opener”, and when talking about his increased knowledge with regards to mental health difficulties, his body language and tone of voice seemed to convey feelings of empowerment and a drive to make a difference for other people experiencing mental illness by sharing the knowledge he had gained.
Similar to Sandra, Celia and Richard, Tom also indicated that contact with mental health services provided a turning point for him. In his interview, he indicated the experience of mental health problems for a long period of time, but then being in hospital helped him to become more connected with others.
“Oh um … well … to tell you the truth, when I was in my twenties even psychiatrists were giving up on me. I had a 5-month hospitalisation in 2009 that turned things around a bit because I learned to reconnect with people again. (…) A couple of years later, two three, the opportunity for the peer support worker training came up (…) my worker recommended that I give it a shot.” (Tom, 146-157)
Tom’s comment that “even psychiatrists were giving up on me” seems to emphasise the hopelessness he felt. There was the implication that psychiatrists usually have the answers and keep trying, but that his situation was so bad that even the people who usually have the answers could not help him. The fact that he mentioned that he “learned to reconnect” may imply that he felt disconnected from everyone and felt beyond help. Although he did not mention what actually happened when he was in hospital, I had an image of him sitting in a group with others (probably influenced by my own experience of working on a ward) and being in a situation where he could not avoid being in a relationship with others. The words “turned things around” suggest that this had been a turning point in his recovery, and from this turning point he eventually arrived at a stage in his recovery where he felt ready to work as a PSW.
62
As with the other participants, Fran also spoke about a time in her recovery where working as a PSW became a possibility. She described how this came about following a period of being mentally unwell, and then the role being suggested during the
employment support she received as part of her care.
“And then I was very ill at the end of the year, got some help … and as part of that they gave me some help around employment. So, I was looking for jobs and starting to think about what I wanted to do, and then the employment specialist … I’d said oh I’d be quite interested in working as a support worker … the employment specialist said well … brought me information about working as a peer support worker … and that was how I got into doing it” (Fran, 90-97)
Fran’s experience was another example, of being unwell and experiencing support from services, which played a role in helping her to find a job that had significant meaning for her. However, in her case, it seems that the employment support itself held particular meaning for her in terms of her recovery.
Fran’s description appears to convey a gradual process of getting back on track after having been unwell. She does not suggest “an eye-opening experience” in quite the way that other participants described. However, the focus on employment seems to have been important in her recovery and could conceivably be regarded as a “turning point”.
With regards to a turning point in her recovery, Sarah explained how attending adult education classes had been important in helping her to move forward in her recovery and gave her the confidence to pursue the peer support role:
“Cos um … my self-confidence built up by going to adult education classes that’s what set me on the thing (…) it’s given me the confidence … I’d been thinking about it [peer support] for a long time but I didn’t have the confidence to do it.” (Sarah, 128-135)
63
In contrast to the other participants, Sarah seems to give less emphasis to the mental health support she received, but it appears that she attributed her increase in confidence to education. Sarah’s account seems to suggest that the increase in confidence she gained through adult education prepared her for beginning work as a PSW and made it seem more achievable. Confidence seems to be the element which was missing before and developing her education was something which made a difference.