three
things their shoes say about them.Take a few minutes to review Session II, Discovering Your Child’s Personality Type. Ask parents if they have any
comments or questions before beginning Session III. Again, remind parents how important it is for them to attend all six sessions in order to get the most from the series.
3) Parent/Child Evaluation
. Hand out the Parent Child Evaluations. Explain that this evaluation is not a test. Rather it is a tool for parents to examine their own personal relationships with their children. Tell them that they will score their ownevaluations. Allow about five minutes for parents to answer questions. Now give each parent a score sheet to see how he/she scored. Allow about five minutes for them to score themselves. Ask parents for their comments about the evaluation exercise.
Ask parents to define the term “barrier.” Give your own definition.
A Barrier is something that hinders or restricts. Today’s session will examine one important barrier that can destroy family relationships. Explain that when it comes to parenting, a child’s “Closed Spirit” is the single most prevalent cause of persistent disharmony within a home that creates a “barrier” between a parent and child.
Put up the flipchart paper headed “What is a
“
Closed Spirit?”
Ask parents to define what they think it means. List responses and discuss.Explain that a “Closed Spirit” is often the result of an injustice our children suffer because of an offence we’ve committed as parents. And as a result of the action, children withdraw from the intimacy they once shared with us.
Ask parents to think about different ways we can close a child’s spirit? List responses and discuss.
Example: A child’s
“Closed Spirit”
may come from:not letting your children know how much you love them.
embarrassing them in front of their friends.
comparing them to another sibling or to another child.
saying things like, “you never do things right.”
not looking after them properly.
threatening your children.
yelling at them or making fun of them.
constantly beating them for everything they do.
cursing at them or calling them stupid.
telling them that you wish they were never born.
arguing with your spouse/partner in front of your children.
acting inappropriately; e.g., being drunk, beating your wife, etc.
lying, stealing or cheating.
not keeping your promise.
not spending quality time with your children or communicating with them.
Ask, “How we can tell when our child has a “Closed Spirit”?” List and discuss.
Facts:
Some manifestations of a “Closed Spirit” are when your child:
looks to others for love and support instead of you.
doesn’t look at you when you talk to her.
may argue and resist when you ask him to do something.
may refuse to like anything you like.
may withdraw and withhold affection.
stops speaking to you.
begins to lie and steal from you.
keeps important information from you.
does not communicate with you about school, friends, etc.
will choose not to like certain friends that you like.
will choose to like certain friends that you don’t like.
may use abusive, disrespectful language.
may become involved in alcohol, drugs, smoking and sex.
Ask parents to think about “What can parents do if a child’s spirit is closed?
Tell parent to remember that,
“No one rises to low
expectations.”
Some ways to overcome a “Closed Spirit” may be to:
become tender-hearted.
increase understanding.
recognize the offence.
practice what you preach.
seek forgiveness.
provide loving support by:
a. communicating unconditional love.
b. verbalizing your feelings of love, pride and affection. c. helping your child visualize a positive future.
d. recognizing each child’s uniqueness.
e. never comparing your child to anyone else.
5)
Role Plays/Discussion
. Ask parents to reflect on how we close our spirits to God our father in some of the same ways. Have parent’s role-play different situations so that they can practice how to respond to children’s “Closed Spirit.”You may want to make up your own skits or, you can use the following:
1. Your 13 year-old daughter is suddenly not doing well in school. You have a feeling that something is troubling her but whenever you ask her how things are going, she just says “okay.” What can you do?
2. Your 9 year-old son spilled tomato sauce all over your new rug. What do you do?
3. Your youngest daughter failed math but your oldest daughter scored a 100 on her exam. What do you do?
4. You’re not feeling well and your children are making a lot of noise. Several times you have asked them to play quietly. You lose your temper and scream at them. Later on, you feel badly about how you handled it. What can you do?
Remember! Parents are extremely resourceful. Encourage them to find the best approach to the problem. After each role- play, discuss how each parent handled the problem. When appropriate, make your own comments.
6)
Summary/Wrap-Up
Review today’s session and ask if there are any other questions or comments.
Ask parents to identify three ways parents can close a child’s spirit.
Ask parents to explain how they can tell if their child has a “Closed Spirit.”
Encourage parents to attend Session IV on “Coping With Parenting.”