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My findings suggest that most participants exist on a continuum of “outness.” Further, as a long process with no clear beginning or end, coming out constitutes one of several trajectories that have shaped the life course of each participant. Although coming out is arguably a process, rather than a single event, each participant reported an age of coming out. Thus, in terms of the life course perspective, they marked a clear turning point in their personal histories.

For the sample, the youngest reported age of coming out was 39 years and the oldest was 69 years. The mean age of coming out for the sample (N=14) was 48.3 years. Women (n=6) in this study reported coming out ten years earlier than men (n=8), age 42.5 versus age 52.6. This finding runs contrary to some other studies. For instance, Grov, Bimbi, Nanín, and Parsons (2006) found men aged 55+ had come out on average by 20.31 years, versus women 55+ who had come out by an average age of 24.11 years. Floyd and Bakeman (2006) found no significant differences in average ages of disclosure between men and women across three categories: disclosure to a non-parent, disclosure to mother, and disclosure to father. Like participants in Grov and colleagues 2006 study, participants in Floyd and Bakeman’s study came out in their early 20’s, less than half the average age of coming for participants in this study. From a life

course perspective, when compared to the previous research noted, my findings may suggest possible gendered differences in the age of coming out that are associated with coming out “off time.” In other words, is it possible that as men and women age along the path of the

normative/prescriptive life course (education, career, marriage, pro-creation, retirement) that their paths diverge enough to create an actual difference in the timing of coming out later in life? In contrast to the aforementioned studies, a larger study (N = 1260) of identity development of gay, lesbian, and bisexual adults by Calzo and colleagues (2011) identified a subsample of 70 participants as “late profile.” This group came out at a mean age of 43.18 years. They found that the women in this group may have come out earlier than the men, and suggested that this might indicate a greater antipathy in society towards gay men, than lesbians.

Despite reporting an actual age of coming out, most participants have experienced coming out as a lengthy process, with disclosure taking place as a gradual unfolding in small, and not necessarily linear steps/stages overtime. For the majority of respondents, the experience of coming out could not be reduced to a single “before/after” event. Indeed, even considering coming out as a process, the starting point of coming out for any given participant is difficult to pinpoint. Did the process begin as a child with a same-sex attraction or experience? Did it begin when one misread cues from another of the same sex and thus inadvertently revealed herself? Did it begin with one’s first long-term, but held secret, same-sex relationship? For participants in this study, any given disclosure (or exposure) did not necessarily equal coming out. Further, any given disclosure (or exposure) did not necessarily have a direct or immediate impact on

participant’s social networks. Arguably, certain such incidents may have propelled or informed the internal process for some participants, moving them further along the trajectory of the coming out process. For example, although Luke disclosed his homosexual tendencies to a

military psychologist, other than a temporary deferment from the draft, Luke’s confession did not have a direct impact on his social network. His life continued as it was. Further as Luke explained this incident to me, it was out of a sense of honesty that he disclosed his homosexual feelings, feelings which at that time in his life, he did not think represented his true self.

Considerations of temporality, “When did it begin.”; “When did it end?”; What was life like before? and “What was life like after?” suggest that there is some clear definition of “out”, or further, that there is some point in the process that once crossed, you are “out” (again

participants reported an actual age of coming out). Surely, if one never disclosed, by word or action, to any other person their homosexuality, they would never be “out.” However, if they told some people but did not tell everybody, or at least everyone they thought to be of some

consequence in their life, would they not still be “out”?

The threshold event in the process of coming out may be when one decides to drop any pretenses of heterosexuality, and live life openly as the gay man or lesbian woman they know themselves to be. However, this simple definition has not been the experience of most of the participants in this study. Most of the participants in this study have come out gradually, existing at some point on a continuum of “outness” as they negotiate their social world.

In certain situations and with certain relations, some participants have chosen to keep their sexual identity to themselves for a variety of reasons. Such choices are often double-edged swords, preserving a relationship at the expense of the possibility of moving that relationship to a new and different place, perhaps to a much deeper plane than its current level. However, the possibility that disclosure of one’s true sexual identity will lead to a more fulfilling relationship is not guaranteed. At one or more times in their lives, most of the study participants found themselves in situations where the potential of gaining or losing important personal relationships

if they disclosed their sexual identity had to be evaluated. At any stage of life, social support is important, if not critical to one’s well-being. Arguably, as one moves from mid-life into old age the consequences of losing social support are accentuated. Thus, as one grows older, the gravity of decisions to disclose or not disclose one’s sexual orientation may increase.