Técnicas para determinar el Perfil por Competencias

The results and discussion is split over four chapters. Each chapter will address one of the research questions, as described in the Introduction (Chapter 1, Section 1.2).

The research questions are:

(1) How is romance constructed by participants as a context for identity production? (2) What were the constructed outcomes of romance, and how were these achieved? (3) What (complementary) gender identities were produced-in-romance, and what are

the identity affordances of the context of being-romantic?

(4) Were these affordances resisted and what alternatives to these affordances exist?

Thus, in Chapter 4, the context of being-romantic will be explored. It will be shown that three distinct ways-of-being-romantic emerged from the data. These were differentiated in practical terms (such as in terms of location and expense) as well as according to how flexibly or rigidly these situational discursive scripts were defined. It will also be demonstrated that these forms of romance were drawn from and constructed for differing discursive effects. The grand date, despite being positioned as requiring the most effort and expense to produce, was constructed as the ideal form of being-romantic as it offered the most intense experience of romance. The casual date, on the other hand, was the foil against which the grand date was contrasted. Romantic gestures were the most loosely defined and therefore the most individual and diverse. These gestures were typically constructed as tokens of love and appreciation, and so were presented as a means of

imbuing one’s relationship with romance in an everyday setting, particularly at times when going on grand dates were impractical.

In Chapter 5, I will consider the outcomes of romance. It will be argued that romance was set up in contrast to everyday life. Where everyday life was presented as being contaminating to the marital relationship, romance was set up in direct contrast, as a

114 means of doing relationship-maintenance. Therefore, I will show how romance – and in particular, the grand date – was constructed as integral to the success of participants’ marriages.

I will demonstrate that the way romance achieves this effect is because of its constructed outcome – that of intimacy, and in particular, emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy was described as a sense of connectedness to one’s partner resulting directly from being-romantic. It will be shown that physical intimacy, and in particular sexual intercourse, was rarely directly spoken about. Participants oriented to the discourse of ‘romance for sex’, but used it to distance their own romantic practices from it, instead positioning physical intimacy and sexual intercourse as the physical expression of this desirable

emotional connectedness. It will be argued that this discourse places normative pressure on couples to engage in being-romantic, and specifically, to be romantic according to the limited (limiting?) discursive scripts and affordances of the grand date.

In Chapter 6, I will discuss these discursive scripts and affordances in more detail, and explore how romance – and in particular, the context of the grand date – affords gender identities. It will be shown that romantic masculinity was characterised by the active orchestration of romance and by attentive and chivalrous behaviour. Using Schippers’ concept of complementary but hierarchical gender identities I will then explore what space romantic femininity was constructed as needing to occupy in order to give romantic

masculinity currency. I will argue that romantic femininity was constructed as being passive and as receiving (and appreciating) romantic gestures. I will also demonstrate that it

appeared to be much more difficult for participants to articulate romantic femininity

compared to romantic masculinity, especially in ways that were active. The discursive effect of this more nebulous definition will be explored, drawing from Billig’s (1999) concept of repression. I will suggest that the discursive repression of what it means to be a romantic woman might allow us to focus on the ‘niceness’ of romantic masculinity and the

wonderful, gender-neutral, equitable outcomes of being-romantic.

In this chapter, I will also investigate the affordances provided by romantic gestures. Of the three forms of romance described by participants, romantic gestures

115 seemed to have the most potential in terms of offering gender-neutral affordances, as they were described as being performed by men and by women, and were the most fluid in terms of what it would entail to produce. However, it will be argued that, upon closer investigation, this form of romance was constructed as being subtly different depending on who it was performed by. Not only was the content of these gestures gendered, I will also show that they were drawn from and positioned to differing discursive effects. I will suggest that men’s romantic gestures were positioned as being ‘sweet’ or ‘endearing’ while

women’s romantic gestures were typically offered as evidence for the men participants to know they were appreciated in return for their grand romantic gestures, without the women needing to reciprocate to the same degree. I will suggest that romantic gestures were therefore less gender-neutral than they initially appeared.

In Chapter 7, I will examine instances of resistance to the situated

affordances of romance. These instances will be explored to see how they can de-stabilise or re-imagine the ways we construct romance. It will be argued that in many cases,

instances that were presented as resistance were actually used as justification as to why participants were unable to perform romance in the idealised, normative way. Thus, I will argue that as such, they were not really acts of resistance at all, but rather efforts to make their actions understandable within these idealised and normative romantic discourses.

However, two of the women participants were constructed (by themselves and their partners) as resisting the passivity of romantic femininity and actively romancing their partners. While this active resistance could potentially destabilise the gendered romantic order, a number of factors were identified which may limit the transformative or disruptive effect they may have.

Firstly, I will argue that their romance was positioned as requiring a great deal of effort – more so, in fact, than the effort required from active romantic men.

Secondly, it will be argued that the amount of justificatory rhetoric used in discussing these instances suggest that being a ‘romantic woman’ and a ‘romanced man’ may be

stigmatising positions to occupy. It will be argued that if romantic femininity is characterised by being-romanced, then, correspondingly, to be romanced is to be feminized. Therefore, if

116 the women partner is actively romancing her partner, it will be argued that the partner becomes feminized as a result. The strategies undertaken by these participants to protect and align the man as active and masculine, will be explored.

I will thus argue that while participants were able to strategically draw from, position and create romance, they were restricted by the context’s available affordances. Where participants did try to resist these affordances, it was at the cost of creating a negative, dis-preferred identity (active romantic femininity and passive romanced masculinity), and it will be shown that participants then needed to discursively protect themselves and their partner from these resulting subject positions. Therefore, it will be argued that the greatest identity rewards come from reproducing situational discursive scripts of romance, but that this is problematic because these scripts and affordances are entrenched in chivalrous and patriarchal ways of relating to each other, which through discourses of romance and emotional intimacy, become positioned as idealised and

desirable. It will be shown that, as a result, there is normative pressure to go on grand dates and perform these problematic identities in order to ‘do’ relationship maintenance.

The implications of these findings will then be elaborated in the synthesis section. It will be suggested that it is problematic that women are constructed as wanting romance, but are positioned as being the ones who should receive it, not initiate it. Several authors have argued that there is a cultural expectation that women should be responsible for the emotional housekeeping of heterosexual relationships (Barker, 2012; Eldén, 2011; Delassandro & Wilkins, 2016; Giddens, 1992; Holford, 2012; Schäfer, 2008; Vincent & Chiwandire, 2013; Vincent & McEwan, 2006). However, in this study I have argued that this is problematic beyond the reasons suggested in the existing literature. I have demonstrated that romantic agency is masculinised, so that when women try to actively romance men, it is positioned as a difficult or problematic position to occupy. Hence, I will argue that while society expects women to maintain the health and well-being of their romantic

relationships, women are simultaneously placed under normative constraints to be

romanced and not to actively romance their partners. Thus, women have the responsibility, but not the means, for maintaining the health of their marriages.

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