In terms of the concrete actions related to future care contexts, participants presented a range of potential plans that shaped future care perceptions. For many participants, the idea of future care seemed distal in comparison to the more proximal retirement plans they are currently engaging with. As one female participant (BB1) noted, “I still don’t feel there yet.” For BB participants past retirement age, many preferred to focus on the present as opposed to planning for hypothetical care needs. For participants who had engaged with future care planning, the dialogues ranged in focus from housing and care arrangements, to end-of-life planning such as advance care directives, and legal or financial representation agreements.
Some participants focused on retirement plans as opposed to care-focused plans. One female participant (BB1) who was still working noted:
I haven’t thought as far as… me being incapacitated, I mean myself and several girlfriends have the plan of you know, buying the house on the lake in Ontario and all retiring together you know? We’re all single, and the kids are going to be all off doing their own thing and we will grow old and drink wine, and rock in the rocking chairs, and look at the lake. Umm, after that I’m not really sure. (Female Participant; BB1)
Similarly, when asked about family conversations of future care, one male ACBB1 participant expressed how his parent’s focus is more on their retirement, not potential health transitions and aging:
…my parents actually have a plan to travel half the time, I guess. So, we haven’t really had a planning session where we talk about what we’re going to do when they’re not able to do certain things. It’s… most of it is talk of what they are able to do and what they are going to do… (Male Participant; ACBB1)
In the case of future care planning, the range of discussed options varied
considerably by participants. Some BBs were just beginning to formulate their approach, while others had substantial arrangements or plans in place. One female participant (BB1) explained how she had just begun to devise some plans by working “backwards”, focusing first on her end-of-life plans and then navigating her way towards retirement and care plans. She explained how the arrangement of her final resting place, and the growing stability she sees in her children has led her to begin some of the
communication around aging plans. When asked about what kind of conversations she has had, she responded:
Yeah, not so much as going to the office and talking to them, but just having casual conversations and telling them, if anything happened to me, if I’m not here anymore, where to bring me. And if I’m not sound of mind, I wanted to know what their opinion is, how they feel about it. But they have not gotten to that point of thinking about me being that way. And they were very quiet about it. A couple of times I tried to initiate the conversation, but I want them to get used to thinking that way so when the time comes it’s not overwhelming for them. So just casually talking, but I have not gotten any answers from them yet. So, I myself am still thinking—what should I be doing? (Female Participant; BB1)
Another female BB1 participant had a fully conceptualized approach with
medical, legal, and financial directives. When asked about her future care expectations, she explained:
I do not expect my boys to look after me. That is not in the cards at all, they will not be living in Canada… they will have power of attorney after me or my husband passes, and they will have representation, they do have representation agreements. Umm, however I expect to, after working in the not-for-profit world for thirty-three years my ducks are lined up. We have very clear directives as to how our, the last quarter of our life is going to pan out, with the exception of things out of our control of course. But we will be staying in our home and modifying it and bringing someone in to help us. (Female Participant; BB1)
In contrast, two female participants (ACBB2) with healthcare backgrounds had ordered advanced care paperwork for their BB parents to fill out. Both tried to navigate the care conversations proactively and nudge their parents into considering what they may want in the future. The participants explained their approaches:
ACBB2 Female Participant 1: I gave them, two years ago, pamphlets from work saying “tell me what you want”, and then during my grandfather’s [death] I’m like—now that this has happened I’m not
going to make these decisions for you, you’ll have to tell me. Because my mom is Christian and my dad is Hindu, so they’re completely different on what they want, and I’m like well you’re going to be getting whatever I give you. And then all of a sudden, they’re like giving me all these answers to things, and I’m like alright so those papers I gave you and my dad is like: “I have them inside” and I’m like: yeah inside is not what I need, c’mon start filling them out!
ACBB2 Female Participant 2: On the fridge so when you call the paramedics from the bathroom, they’ll know whether to resuscitate you or not! I ordered all the paperwork and it showed up in their mailbox one day, and my dad calls me like: what is this? And I was like “oh it’s in case you die, today.” And he was like “WHAT?” and I was like “yeah fill it out.”
Participant 1: Cause it’s so stressful for people to think about.
Participant 2:They do not want to have those conversations and I was like if you don’t want to talk about it, you can fill out the paperwork.