The traditional love practice, as described by one free-love advocate, was like playing “hide and seek” - people were asked to close their eyes and try to love anyone he or she
could catch.71 What most worried the social reformers of the 1920s, however, was what
would happen when people were allowed to open their eyes. When free and
unconditional love was upheld to a paramount position, contemporary observers easily perceived the unrest that could be caused in big cities from the exposure of illegal love affairs to neighborhood gossip, sexual indulgence between young lovers, breakup notices in newspapers and competitive boasts from economically-motivated ladies about the generosity of their lovers or husbands. These concerns consequently provoked a new- round of fears about moral decline in China.
Part of the misunderstanding surrounding modern love came from general confusion in society about the latest available socializing opportunities between the opposite sexes. Under the strict regulation of traditional gender separation, the only open socialization allowed between men and women was that between a prostitute and her customer. For most couples, the wedding day was the first time a bride and groom met. It was not until the 1920s, after female students were officially admitted onto university campuses, that face-to-face communication in public between the two sexes even became a possibility. Even then, public tolerance for socialization between the sexes was still rather low. Girls’
70
Ning Su宁素, “Ai de shenxing yu moxing”爱的神性与魔性 [The bright side and dark side of love] in Zhongguo funü wenti taolun ji, vol.4, 7-8.
71
Shi Heng世衡, “Lian’ai geming lun”恋爱革命论[Theory of Love Revolution], in Zhongguo funü wenti taolun ji, vol.4, 73-81.
school students, for example, constantly complained about the school administrators reading and confiscating personal letters from their likely boyfriends under the excuse of protecting the innocent, unmarried girls.72
Marriage reformists and female activists were especially disappointed by the fact that many men and women ignored the significance of gender equality behind open
socialization, and instead assumed that love and marriage were the only purpose of cross- sex socialization.73 This misconception was caused partly by the general lack of
experience among the Chinese people in dealing with the opposite sex due to the long history of gender separation, partly by the natural law of sexual attraction and most of all, by the contemporary social context of the 1920s. Because most commoners had not yet been exposed to modern ideas, wherever and whenever a young man and a young woman were seen spending time together, it often attracted public gossip and attention. As Yang
Zhihua杨之华 (1900-1973) perceived in 1922, people developed a tendency to identify
any public communication with love, which therefore deliberately pushed them to develop the “business of love”, which subsequently led to meaningless sex, easy breakups or frequent divorces. Yang felt that that this kind of love was “caused by outside pressure”, took it as an objective obstacle against individual freedom and true love and blamed those people “who have been steeped in the old tradition to resent and
make a fuss about socializing between men and women” 74.
Like “open socialization”, “courtship” was another term that was traditionally interpreted by Confucian thinkers as an immoral expression of illegitimate love, most often used to describe the relationship between prostitute and patron.75 Love stories such as “Xixiang
72
Y.O. “Qufu zhixia de yige husheng”屈服之下的一个呼声[Call from surrenders], Funü zazhi, vol.9, no. 11 (1923): 198-200.
73
For example, see Lan Leng兰冷 “Yixing shejiao de taidu wenti”异性社交底态度问题[The attitude of cross-sex socialization]; Chen Dezheng陈德征. “Shejiao gongkai he lianai”社交公开和恋爱[Open socialization and Love]; Yan Bing雁冰 “Nannü shejiao gongkai wenti guanjian ”男女社交公开问题管见[My opinion on the cross-sex open socialization]; Shu Mei曙梅. “Shejiao gongkai hou funü di juewu”社交公开后妇女底觉悟[Women’s
consciousness in the open socialization], in Zhongguo funü wenti taolun ji, vol. 2, 151-193.
74
Yang Zhihua, “Love and Socializing Between Men and Women”, July 1922; “The Debate over ‘Love and Open Socializing Between Men and Women’, August 11, 1922”, in Women in Republican China, 44-49.
75
Gail Hershatter, “Prostitution and the Market in Women in Early Twentieth-Century Shanghai”, in Marriage and Inequality in Chinese Society, 261.
ji”西厢记 [Romance of the Western Chamber] and “Qiangtou mashang”墙头马上 [By the wall, on the horse] are the only traditional sources of such affairs. In these tales, practices that defined “courtship” include the hero and heroine falling in love at first sight during a chance meeting, exchanging secret poetry, engaging in secretive nocturnal meetings and having hasty sexual encounters. These popular stories became the only available texts that could provide the Chinese youth of the 1920s with an example of courtship. Sometimes, courtship methods employed by inexperienced young men were awkward. It was said that female students often received love letters from unknown admirers and sometimes a girl could get several dozen love letters from one person within a few months. Those who were misled by sexual instinct and the popular misconception of cross-gender socialization found it difficult to distinguish friend from love subject. An accidental exchange of words, a letter or even eye contact between a man and a woman was easily mistaken by one or both inexperienced parties as an expression of love.76 It was common to see two young people rushing into a love affair or engagement after only exchanging letters or poetry, and even before their first formal date.77 It is no surprise that many such rash love affairs ended with a quick breakup or short term marriage, which attracted fierce critiques from conservatives as it confirmed their worst fears.
Another source of the disturbances caused by changing conceptions in China about love concerned a growing interest in money among urban educated young women.
Considering that there were still very few formally educated women in China in the 1920s, there was a tendency among critics to suggest that young, educated ladies were “trading their identities as women students for rich husbands”, “voluntary play toys of
men” or “parasites of man”.78 Their perceived money-worshipping tendency and greed
for material luxuries led to the complaint that “free-love is a luxury only available to the
76
Xie Dingyuan谢定远, “Qingnian lian’ai wenti”青年恋爱问题[Love problem of youth’s love], Xuesheng zazhi, vol.11, no.1 (1924): 66-67.
77
Yan Shi晏始, “Zhongguoxing de lian’ai fangshi”中国型的恋爱方式[Chinese Love Manner], Funü zazhi, vol. 9, no.5 (1923): 11-13.
78
He Yujian何玉鉴, “Guanyu lian’aijiehun ji zeou de yijian”关于恋爱结婚结婚及择偶的意见[Opinion on love, marriage and mate-selection], Funü zazhi, vol. 9, no.12 (1923): 117-119.
rich.”79 However, in a society where women were theoretically and practically discouraged from having an independent life, no matter how hard the ideas of
“independent love” and “unconditional love” were pushed, it was difficult for a woman to find a decent, easy and well-paid career after graduation. In speaking of Nora, the heroine of Henrik Ibsen’s iconic A Doll’s House, Lu Xun predicted that after she left the
dollhouse, in a society that offered her no psychological support and no means of
financial support “she can hardly avoid going to the bad and returning…Dreams are fine;
otherwise money is essential.”80 Finding a decent lover or husband was no doubt much
easier for a Chinese ‘new woman’ than trying to find gainful employment.81
The mania of a few young people for “unconditional free love” became a source of public disturbance in the 1920s. For instance, in 1922 Yang Zhihua published an article
criticizing a male suitor who tried to press her into a romantic affair with him without
considering her unwillingness and the fact that she was happily married.This man, who
labeled himself as an advocate for unconditional love, alleged that “as long as two people know and care about each other, love does not depend on the amount of time they have spent together.” When his advances were refused by Yang, he “spread the rumor that he and she were romantically involved”, and “kept writing her intimate letters, asking her to divorce her husband and marry him.” In one letter, he said: “love is a necessity of life and an indication of life force. Just as when one worships and prays to God or Buddha, one has to continue to do so even if one’s prayers are not answered…One cannot stop loving simply because one’s love is not requited.” Love, in his interpretation, was simply a flirting game: “in society there are some young men and women who try to seduce the opposite sex by wearing fancy clothing and using specially rehearsed language. That is what people call ‘flirting.’ But wealth, fame, erudition and personality could also seduce people. So ‘flirting’ is nothing but a bad name a few old moralists and intellectuals gave
79
Zhao Mulian赵慕莲, “Lian’ai shibaizhe de fenyan”恋爱失败者的愤言[Angry words of a loser of love], Funü zazhi, vol. 9, no.12 (1923): 111-112.
80
Lu Xun. “What happens after Nora leaves home”, originally given as a talk at the Beijing Women’s Normal College on December 26, 1923. Translated by Gladys Young, in Women in Republican China, 176-181,178.
81 Chen Mingxia, “Marriage Laws and the Rights of Chinese women”, in Holding Up Half the Sky: Chinese Women Past, Present and Future, eds.Tao Jie , Zheng Bijun and Shirly L. Mow (New York: CUNY Feminist Press, 2004), 159-171: 165.
to the proletarian underdog’s expression of love.”82 Here, love was interpreted as not only absolutely unconditional, but also selfish and vulgar. Since the enthusiasts of absolute and unconditional love insisted that “true love is a pure and forever thing that never changes no matter what happens” and the belief that “faith will move mountains”, their self-wills produced more than a few cases like the one Yang encountered. 83
Sometimes, a man’s persistent infatuation with a woman, like the man in Yang’s case, was more of an issue of ‘face’ than that of love. Edward Alsworth Ross (1866-1951), an American sociologist who traveled to China in 1910, perceived that in the early twentieth century “a class of Chinese students was horrified to learn from their teacher that in America a young man proposing marriage to a maiden might be refused. To them the rejection of a man by a mere woman implied a loss of ‘face’ too dreadful to
contemplate.”84 For a man obsessed with men’s superiority over women, establishing a
love relation with a woman he desired is like a game between a hunter and his prey. The more beautiful and dangerous the prey, the more exciting and challenging the hunt would be and the more powerful and strong the victorious hunter would be proved.
Pushing the idea of love freedom to its extreme, some radicals went so far as to advocate free sex. For example, a respondent to a marriage survey of 1927 added his comment on the questionnaire: “we do not need useless monogamy… Our opinion is to abolish the marriage system and replace it with men and women’s free union (not marriage). This is
a union based on love. Free sexual behavior should be advocated.”85 This notion, of
course, was cause for alarm from the marriage reformists. Addressing this bold claim, the
surveyor Pan Guangdan潘光旦(1899-1967), derided: “although monogamy is not an
82
Yang Zhihua, “Love and Socializing Between Men and Women”, July 1922; “The Debate over ‘Love and Open Socializing Between Men and Women’, August 11, 1922.” Collected in Women in Republican China, 44-49.
83
Xi Ling西泠, “Bu Yanmie de Lian’ai”不湮灭的恋爱[Endless Love], Funü Pinglun, in Zhongguo funü wenti taolun ji, vol.4, 4.
84
Edward Alsworth Ross, The Changing Chinese: the conflict of Oriental and Western cultures in China (New York: The Century Company, 1911),188.
85
Pan Guangdan, “Zhongguo zhi jiating wenti” 中国家庭问题[Questions on Chinese Family], Xinyue Shudian, 1928. Collected in Li Wenhai, ed., Minguo shiqi shehui diaocha congbian, 259-359: 296.
unalterable principle, in current and the closest future, it is impossible to be ‘useless,’…
in this way Chinese family problems would never ever be solved.”86