Pete writes: I almost always ask the groups on an eight-week slimming course that I run if there i s anything they have always wanted t o d o but have not yet done. Half-way through one par- ticular course, a woman called Catherine said she used to do a lot of drama, and had been very good at it. Although she had never had the chance t o become a professional actress, she was able to use her acting skills t o effect change. She began imagining herself behaving in the way she wanted. She saw herself eating more fruit and looking and feeling happier. She wrote down the behaviour she wished to adopt, almost as though she were writing out a new role in a play, then imagined herself playing it. She went on to say
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The greatest that she was changing. 'People had this opinion of m e i n t h e is
office. I used to b e the person who, whenever there were choco- doing what people
say you cannot do, late biscuits offered, would have one. I always had sweets and chocolate around me at my desk. Now I don't want that any more. I have a bowl of fruit. People don't like it, they are frightened by it, because I am changing.'
It can sometimes feel strange or even threatening when we change and start to become the person we want to be. It can also be a threat to other people. Catherine was beginning to take on a new way of being which may have felt strange at first, but eventually felt more comfortable and empowering because she was, as last, becoming herself.
The game that most people play is being the same as everyone else. This usually means conforming to acertain way of thinking and being. How do the majority of people think and behave? Generally people focus on what is wrong, what is missing, what they have not got, and give themselves a hard time. They are dissatisfied with their work, often stressed, and have habits that no longer do anything for them.
We are almost relentlessly bombarded with messages that make us focus on what is wrong with and missing from our lives. Television and the media in general tend to reinforce this obsession with problems and unhappy events, present- ing us with programmes which have as their highlight dis- aster, difficulty, death and dysfunctional relationships. Confronted with this, it is hardly surprising so many think for so much of the time about what is wrong, and feel depressed as a result. But think for a moment: is this not just another habit we have learned?
Only dead fish swim with the stream. Always be a first- rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else.
Let's take an example. Do you know any young children who want to be read the front page of a newspaper as a bedtime story? Do they enjoy watching the news? No. They like to watch and listen to stories with happy endings. They like to laugh. On average, children laugh and smile about 400 times a day, according to a recent study. By the time they are adults, this figure has dropped to 15 times a day. Is it important to laugh and smile? Yes, because each time you do so, natural drugs (endorphins) are released in the body which make you feel good. Try it now:
Smile three times
You should feel the difference almost immediately.
One of the biggest habits people have is 'terminal serious- ness' - they take themselves too seriously. So, for the next
couple of days, see how many times you laugh or even smile. You could well be shocked by the result.
Is the game that everyone else plays the one you want to go on playing? Or do you want to start playing the game of your own life, doing the things that feel right and that you want to do, and not those you think you should be doing?
Start to make up your own rules. What do you really want?
Do you want to get rid of this habit you have? Then do it!
You do not have to believe any longer that you can't.
When young, elephants that are trained for the circus are attached to a stake in the ground by a heavy chain. As much as they try to
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The mind is the pull away, they cannot, until one day they give u p trying. From limit. As long as
the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it, as long as you believe 100 per cent. To change one's life: start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions, no excuses.
It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.
then on they can b e chained up with nothing more than a rope. Whenever these elephants later experiences any degree of re- sistance, they give up trying t o fight it. They are conditioned to believe i t i s impossible t o pull away, and their behaviour follows their belief.
You have been told you cannot give up your habit. You might have believed for a long time that you cannot give up the habit. You have felt as though a heavy chain has attached you to the belief and you've stopped trying to pull away. Try on the idea of being tied to your habit with thread: see how easy it is to break?