Researcher: How many hours do you have to teach every week? Participant 2: 22 hours
R: Do you stay at school after teaching?
P2: No. No. I do not have to stay, so I leave of course, should there be a meeting, I stay and attend the meeting.
R: Do you prepare your own exams for the class or is there a testing committee? P2: There is no testing committee. We prepare our own exams, but sometimes we share some items among ourselves. (no committees)
R: So, that does mean you sometimes come together with your colleagues, and discuss issues related to teaching.
P2: Not very often, but we do it of course. Hmmm, as far as I observe, the colleagues in the school are not very much willing to come together and talk about what is going on in their classrooms. (lack of cooperation)
R: Can you elaborate more on that? I could not get what you are trying to say. P2: Well, I am 44 years old and the rest of my colleagues are younger than me. We have both cultural and educational background differences. Therefore, we have differences in our way of thinking, and sometimes we have difficulty in voicing these different opinions, and as a result, we end up with serious discussions that offend some of us. At this point, I feel that I should act and work individually. (differences among colleagues)
R: Do you ever think there are other underlying reasons for such “serious discussions”?
P2: As far as I observe, at least in my context, teachers are do not like criticism no matter how constructive and useful it is. They take everything personally, so it is difficult to talk to some teachers. After a while, I get tired and do not want to take part in any kind of communication with them. Instead, I choose to be on my own.
(offended colleagues)(tired)
Although the researchers did not ask the participant whether she had any priorities in life, the participant stated that her family had always been in the first place. She continued as…
P2: If I leave home without preparing the breakfast, I feel guilty. As a matter of fact not even my husband is asking for it. This is how I have lived through the years. I had the same family setting when I was a child and I remember my mother and grandmother constantly saying that “mothers played, and still do, the key role within a family and she had to be always there, ready”. This has become my motto since then. (motherly feelings) (guilty)
R: Does this “motto” have any effect on your participation in PD activities? I mean does it have any relation to it?
P2: Exactly. Upon giving birth to my second child, I decided to quit teaching and take care of my child which meant that I had to stay home for three years until my daughter started kindergarten. This was my own preference; I mean no one forced me to do so. But of course, being away from teaching had some drawbacks. I feel behind the system, teaching and worst of all I lost my confidence in teaching. I started to think that I had, even, lost my ability to speak English. Somehow, I felt that the brand new teachers were much better than me because they were new graduates, they were fresh and ready to follow and implement everything they see and learn. I could not put myself in their position. Let me give you an example. One of the private secondary schools announced that they would hire some English teachers. (loss of confidence)
P2: Yes, and surprisingly I passed the first set of exams and got stuck during the interview. As I said earlier, I said as if I had lost my ability to speak and I was speechless in front of the interviewer. Yet still, I felt proud of myself due to having passed the first stage. This helped me gain my confidence again and give me the courage to step in a classroom and start teaching. (gaining confidence)
(proud)
R: Well, after you start teaching, was there anything new in your school life? P2: Actually no. The same old routine.
R: Apart from sharing some ideas with your colleagues, (which you earlier stated that it was done very often) what other activities regarding teaching have you been into?
P2: To be honest, I am not into such activities anymore. Maybe you know, every year, the Ministry of National education runs in-service training workshops in various subjects. These workshops are not only in the field of ELT but also in other subjects. They are hardly ever compulsory, which means anyone who wishes to attend will attend these training sessions. (discontent about in-service training) R: What about you?
P2: It has been such a long time since I last took part in workshops as these. (unwilling to PD activities)
R: May I ask you why?
P2: Sure. Whenever I engaged in such workshops and for seminars, I did not feel comfortable. I would hide myself behind the seats so that noone would ever ask a question to me. I was afraid of making a mistake when I attempted to speak. (lack of confidence)
R: Does that mean the trainer was a native speaker all the time?
P2: Mostly, yes. When the trainer was Turkish, then I had a feeling that the trainer was no different than me (at least in terms of speaking and years of experience), so I definitely did not attend those sessions. (unwilling to PD activities)
The red color indicates emotional coding, the black color shows descriptive coding.
Qualitative Analysis procedure suggested by:
Saldana, J. (2009). The coding manual for qualitative researchers. London: Sage Publications Ltd
APPENDIX D: SAMPLE OF EMOTIONAL AND DESCRIPTIVE CODING (TURKISH)
Bölüm I - Puanlayıcı I