Transporte Digno y Sustentable para Un Nuevo Chile

4.3.2 The sharing of

physical space

I became friendly with a girl in the year above me, who told that I could come round to her house whenever I liked. So, taking her at her word. I spent most of my free time there (Brown, 2008, p67).

4.3.2 The sharing of virtual environments

Most of them are my Facebook friends (Debumaiya, YouTube, 2010).

4.3.4 Different people as friends

It’s like people who are older than me are, they’re kind of more, I find it easier to relate to them because I’m very old and young at the same time (Mary, Healthtalk, 2010b).

4.3.5 Desirable personal qualities in people

To me, a friend is, you know, someone you can trust (Simon, Healthtalk, 2010K).

I now present in sections 4.3.1 to 4.3.5 a detailed discussion of my data analysis of this theme.

4.3.1 Social and friendship groups

Some sources defined social and friendship groups in terms of having one friend (Brown, 2008; Mary, Healthtalk, 2010l; Sillygayboy, YouTube, 2011b; Sam, Healthtalk, 2014f). Arman (YouTube, 2012a) reflected, “You know for me I have I would say one good friend at the moment”. Other sources said they had a few friends (Debumaiya, YouTube, 2010; Andrew, YouTube, 2011a; Erinclem YouTube, 2012c; Moss, 2014). Debumaiya (YouTube, 2010) said, “Growing up I did have a few friends”. Two sources stated they had a large group of friends

(Alex, Healthtalk, 2010e; Arman, YouTube, 2012a) and some reflected on the right number of friends for them (Simone, 2010; Arman, YouTube, 2012a; Moss, 2014; Sam, Healthtalk, 2014f). Erinclem (YouTube, 2012c) reflected, “That’s why I have those few friends that are really awesome and understand me and support me”. Simone (2010), EvieMay (YouTube, 2011c) and Sam (Healthtalk, 2014f) talked about how it was important to have one good friend. Sam (Healthtalk, 2014f) stated, “and quite simply the benefit that brings is worth more than having twenty or thirty friends who you can socialise with and spend time with”. Other sources (Nathan, YouTube, 2014b; Erinclem, YouTube, 2012c) described how it was better to have a few close friends than a larger number who didn’t really understand you. Nathan (YouTube, 2014b) said:

For the longest time I thought that because I didn't have a lot of friends that it made me lesser. Eventually I started to realise that you know what those cool kids are popular kids can brag about how many friends they have all day. But it's much better to use your time and energy to find just a few really true ones.

4.3.2 Physical and virtual environments

The definition of sociality and friendship was seen by some sources as including the sharing of the same physical space (Pottage, 2008; Victoria, YouTube, 2013; Nathan, YouTube, 2014b; Richard, Healthtalk, 2014b). Alex (Healthtalk, 2010e) said, “Obviously there’s people that go to the same day service as me and when we go out and do social things. We all get together and we all talk and stuff”.

Different sources reflected on socialising and making friends in a variety of environments. Andrew (YouTube, 2011a) and Debumaiya (YouTube, 2010) described the people they worked with as friends and several sources (Harvey, 2008; Moss, 2014; Nathan, YouTube, 2014b; Richard Healthtalk 2014b) spoke about their friends in college. Moss (2014, p68) said, “I usually explain my social life at college by saying that I probably know at least 100 people from different organisations, retreats, and areas of campus, but I truly consider myself friends with one or two people”. Pears, (2004), Ben (YouTube, 2012b)

and Victoria (YouTube, 2013) talked about their friends at school. Pottage (2008, p36) reflected, “At school I had two female friends who took me under their wings”. Arman (YouTube, 2012a) and Alex (YouTube, 2014a) described the friends they had made at the groups they had joined.

A number of sources defined these phenomena through participating in virtual spaces, that is online forums and social media (Harvey, 2008; Alex, Healthtalk, 2010e; Evie May, YouTube, 2011c; Moss, 2014). Like physical spaces, different sources defined socialising and friendship in a variety of environments. Debumaiya (YouTube, 2010) and Victoria (YouTube, 2013) included Facebook contacts in their definition of friends. Moss (2014, p120) said, “I’ll be honest: Facebook is great”. Simone (2008, p99) stated, “Facebook, Twitter and other Internet tools can be extremely helpful in maintaining at least some semblance of a social life” and went on to say, “It is possible to conduct fairly meaningful relationships online”. Alex (YouTube, 2014c) had created his own social space and friendship group through his website Wrongplant.net (Wrongplanet, 2012) so he could socialise and make friends. Arman (YouTube, 2012a) had his own website for this purpose empowerautismnow.com (Empowerautism, 2016).

4.3.3 Sharing interests and activities

Socialising and friendship were also defined by several sources as involving the sharing of a common interest with a person or number of people (Lawson, 2001; Brown, 2008; Victoria, YouTube, 2013; Nathan, YouTube, 2014a). Simone (2010, p87) said, “If you are genuine and pursue your own interests, that is how you will connect with your soul mates – whether friends, colleagues or romantic partners”. Groups were often seen as providing the opportunity to socialise and to make friends (Harvey, 2008; Debumaiya, YouTube, 2010; Arman, YouTube, 2012a; Nathan, YouTube, 2014a). Sources participated in various activities. Alex (YouTube, 2014c) joined a drama and speech group and a band reflecting his interests. Victoria (YouTube, 2013) joined music groups, James (Healthtalk, 2010a) described how he did a lot of coaching and Sillygayboy (YouTube, 2011b) took acting classes. Pears (2004, p13) said of her special interests:

Teenagers of all shapes, sizes and colours would welcome me into their little circles. We would sit around painting, sculpting, writing and making music. At night we would stay up late, watching horror films, then laugh and joke, telling wild tales to one another as friends.

Several sources also participated in informal activities. This included dining with other people (Simon, Healthtalk 2010i; Victoria, YouTube, 2013; Moss, 2014; Richard, Healthtalk, 2014b) and conversation (McCabe, 2003; Alex, Healthtalk, 2010e; Oliver and Susie, Healthtalk, 2010f; Sillygayboy, YouTube, 2011). Moss (2014, p70) said of College that “Dining halls are often social spaces” and Richard (Healthtalk, 2014b) stated that he liked “ordering takeaway” with his friends. Harris (2015, p13) described how as a child she used to take toys and books to school that she viewed as “conversation starters” with other children. Pears (2004, p26) said of her interest in a conversation, “I want to be with girls my own age who I can make friends with: normal, talky girls. Girls who talk like me and listen to pop music!”

4.3.4 Different people as friends

A number of sources described their experiences of socialising and making friends with people of a similar age (Pears, 2004; Moss, 2014; Richard, Healthtalk, 2014b; Sam, Healthtalk, 2014f). Harris (2015, p41) stated about school, “Motivated as I was to find a place of belonging among my peers, I did not give up but started to talk to and hang around a group of “popular” girls”. Acquaintances were also viewed as friends by some sources (Pottage, 2008; Debumaiya, YouTube, 2010; Arman, YouTube, 2012a). Arman (YouTube, 2012a) said, “For me I have many acquaintances but allowing myself to get close to others is a challenge”. Family members were also regarded by a few sources as friends (Harvey, 2008; Simone, 2010). Harvey (2008, p47) wrote, “My father, mother and brother have all been very loyal and supportive to me throughout my life, and therefore I see them as friends like any other type of friend. As well as parents and brother”.

Some sources described that their definition of friendship was with younger or older people (Brown, 2008; Simone, 2010; Mary, Healthtalk, 2010b;

Sillygayboy, 2011b). Simone (2010, p96) said of herself (and other girls with AS):

We don’t cultivate or maintain “appropriate peer relationships.” When we’re younger we may be attracted to older people because of our intellectual maturity and hyperlexia, but as we get older, we may feel more comfortable with younger people because we don’t mature emotionally. As adults we find people our own age boring and lacking in similar interests.

Several sources talked about how they defined sociality and friendship through being with other persons with the label of autism (Harvey, 2008; Ian, Healthtalk, 2010c; Oliver and Susie, Healthtalk, 2010f; Moss, 2014). Ian (Healthtalk, 2010c) described how he found it easier to make friends with persons with autism. He stated, “All my friends who are autistic talk very similarly, you know what I mean we always have a good conversation and we think the same”.