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Now, let’s make the hard things easy. When we take on the difficult tasks as if they were easy, it makes them more fun to get started on. With an easygoing mindset, we can just waltz right in. The hardest part of a difficult task is starting it, because our thoughts have clustered into a negative, resistant story. Now what stands between the task and us is our story about the task, dark and dreary. That’s why Baltasar Gracian is brilliant in his formulation above. Difficult tasks are only difficult because of what we think about them.

Therefore, if we can treat the task ahead as easy, and enter the task in an easy way, we’ve bypassed the thinking that was in the way and can get some early relaxed momentum going.

Some people tell us that coaching referrals are hard to ask for, but are they really? Only if we think so. Referrals can be the easiest thing in the world. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Like a piano piece that’s hard to play at first. Each time you play it, it gets easier. Soon it

just flows. Soon you can play it without even thinking. You can play it drunk, even. (A valuable skill at social events.)

Referrals are the same way.

The first thing you want to do is truly and deeply get (and we mean to really get this at the level of your deepest soul) that referrals benefit the person referring and the person being referred more than they benefit you.

Most people don’t get that. Most people don’t like to ask for referrals because they have slipped back into that old mindset that says “I shouldn’t ask for something that leads to me getting money.

It’s rude. It might look greedy.” And that mindset will do more to forestall your coaching wealth than any other single factor!

Before asking for the referral get your head on straight! Remind yourself (and the person you are asking) of the great breakthroughs that coaching produces. Realize that you are about to help another human being get their life together. You are offering to save someone who has lost his way. You are agreeing to assist someone in becoming happy and prosperous. Why be shy about that?

Also remember to acknowledge, in a humble way, your own limited and very precious time. You have a few openings left for the coming months, and would be willing to help a family member, business associate or friend of your client if they have anyone they know of who can benefit from the work. Believe us, they know of people! They already know of many people who would benefit from your work!

You just have to learn, through practice, to get comfortable with this subject and stop making it hard for yourself to do.

Another aspect - widely neglected - of referral-gathering is how you treat the person who refers someone to you after the referral. This is a major secret key to business coaching wealth so pay attention:

If Mary refers John to you as a coaching client, and now you are coaching John, a very important catalyst to more referrals is how

feelings about it or no feelings about it. It’s up to you. So how you thank her is important. And how often you thank her is important.

Your thank-you communication might include a very, very strong declaration of commitment by you to treat John like absolute gold.

Mary ought to hear a very sincere and passionate commitment from you. This makes Mary feel very good that she referred John. When John thanks you for a session, and when John experiences the breakthroughs that you deliver, make sure you talk to him about Mary and how she played a big part in getting you together and how Mary’s commitment to John is what led to this. At your prompting, John then thanks Mary again for putting the two of you together.

When John is happy about all of this, you have an easy opening to discuss referrals and how you have grown your practice that way.

John listens carefully and before you can even finish he says, “I’ve got somebody for you. I’ve got someone who could really use this work.”

You write that name down and promise John that that person will be treated like gold. When you get home there’s a phone message from Mary. Mary has another client for you.

If you will stay with this, and keep the referral conversations relaxed and alive, you will be amazed at how fast your practice fills up.

One of the reasons we decided to coach coaches and teach coaches everything we know about coaching is because we can no longer serve all the requests we get for coaching. By doing things as simple (although unusual) as the John and Mary scenario cited above, we quickly over-filled our practices. And because our books about small business coaching have become bestsellers, and because our business associates love referring to us, (we make it easy), we are now overwhelmed with prospective clients.

We could always just say “no!” to them and hope that they found someone good. Or we can teach and train other coaches our methods and know they’ll find someone good! So that’s why we got into coaching-the-coaches.

Coaching Lie #8 – I don’t need any