This section focuses on the summary and conclusions of the research findings based on the themes and sub-themes that emerged during the data analysis process.
5.4.1 Themes and Sub-themes
5.4.1.1. Reasons for heading household, feelings about the death of a parent/guardian and family relations
It became evident from the study that children are drawn into the role of heading households long before the death of the parent/s or guardian. All the participants
revealed that their parents/guardians died as a result of AIDS. Because AIDS presents itself through opportunistic diseases, parents started by getting sick and gradually progressed to a terminal stage where they could not take care of themselves. This is when the eldest child in the family feels the responsibility of taking over from the ailing parent.
At this stage they were forced by circumstances to act as caregivers to their sick parents as well as to look after their younger siblings. As the parent’s sickness prolonged, this evoked feelings of despair in the children. According to them, the most painful feeling was to watch their parents’ life deteriorate in front of their eyes and seeing them lose control over their bodily functions. This induced feelings of helplessness and hopelessness as they could not do anything to better the situation. All they could do was to watch in despair as they waited for the final moment to come.
A general feeling of sadness and confusion was evident, and of course they were under stress knowing that they would have to become responsible for running the household, cooking, cleaning and bathing their siblings as they had to fill the gap created by their sick or terminally ill parents. (Gow & Desmond, 2002:113).
Woldeyohannes (2010:29) alludes to the emptiness created by the parent’s death which swiftenss the eldest child to take over the responsibility of all household chores and the task of earning an income. Because of these responsibilities, their childhood was stolen from them early in their lives.
The fact that children end up heading households at a very tender stage of their lives is an indication that family support is non-existent. It would seem that the old African saying that a child is raised not only by the family, but by the whole community does not hold anymore. Several reasons can be attributed to this, such as high levels of poverty, lack of financial muscle, and inadequate resources where relatives feel adding an extra mouth to feed is beyond their abilities.
On the other side of the coin is family greed where the extended family instead of giving support, uses the opportunity to grab and deprive children of the little inheritance they may have. Land grabbing and children chased out of their parents’
5.4.1.2 Challenges and experiences
The assumption of parental responsibilities by the children heading households proved to be a challenge and a close to desperate experience that changed the orphan’s life forever.
The most challenging experiences for children was to find themselves bogged down by household management, taking care of younger siblings, financial management, decision making and providing for the economic needs of the household. This is also attested to by Mkhize (2006:74-82). Performing these roles was demanding, heavy, difficult, challenging, stressful and wearisome, especially when there were younger children in the family. This ultimately meant that the children’s schooling was interfered with and their play compromised thus missing out on the most important components of childhood. Children generally grow and learn through play. The study concluded that children who live in child headed households without adult care face unbearable problems such as:
Food insecurity due to lack of finances to maintain the family
Education-related challenges such as interrupted schooling, poor academic performance, lack of a proper school uniform, stationery and bus fare, the worst being dropping out of school.
Poor housing facilities which exposed them to unsafe health conditions, harm and danger.
Lack of proper guidance, which eventually results in ill-discipline and lack of self-control. Executing proper discipline to younger siblings proved to be a high mountain to climb due to a lack of skills and knowledge on how to discipline them.
With all the challenges confronting children heading households on a daily basis, the end product is a tremendous amount of stress which leads to depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.
5.4.1.3 Coping resources
Notwithstanding all these experiences and challenges they encounter, AIDS-orphans heading households demonstrated an element of coping on a daily basis. One of the
reassuring findings and conclusions of this study relates to the resilience and remarkable resourcefulness of all children in dealing with the challenges they experience in heading the households. Some participants resolved to find comfort in the hands of their friends, in religion and prayer as well as the home and community-based caregivers. They see these people as their pillars of strength after God. The home and community-based care programme by Child Welfare South Africa, Sasolburg as well as the community caregivers from the Department of Social Development proved to be supportive resources. Aftercare programmes for younger siblings where they receive psychosocial support services, educational support as well as a balanced meal every weekday are of great assistance. Faith-based organisations also play a pivotal role in assisting the orphans to cope with the different challenges, although they mainly focus on those who belong to their denomination.
5.4.1.4 Support from community and from social workers
Despite their coping resources, as mentioned above, orphans heading households reported a need for support from professional social workers. They expressed a need for counselling, family and community support as well as trusting and lasting relationships with their neighbours. A common need for training in parenting skills was mentioned and social workers were indicated as being able to provide such training. The training was important to the children as it was considered to help them in their parenting role and improve communication and discipline techniques towards their younger siblings.