Many women in Jordan believe that as a part of married life, even in their family lives, violence will remain because it is seen to be an acceptable social behaviour. This is a very difficult perception to alter. Victimization of women440continues to be an important discussion among scholars focusing on state law functions within the customary law dealing with family matters, rape and domestic violence.441Nazand Begikhani, Aisha K. Gill and Gill Hague discussed honour-based violence in Middle Eastern societies; there living is based on patriarchal values. HBV clearly involves a wide range of actions committed against women including physical violence, killing, poisoning and forced marriage. These actions are harmful to women within patriarchal societies.442 Violence initially starts at home with the power of the mother, brother, and father over the girl to make sure that gender norms are in position and continue into married life, where
subordination is perpetuated through economic power. Some cultural practices in various societies are harmful for women, such as HBV in these communities. The most common
437 Katharine Barlett, Gender And Law: Theory, Doctrine, Commentary (1st edn, Little Brown
Publisher 1993).
437 Harne and Radford, Tackling Domestic Violence: Theories, Policies And Practice (n 179).
438 R Zitrin and C Longford, Legal Ethics In The Practice Of Law (Michie Co 1995). 439 Rene Romkens, 'Law As A Trojan House: Unintended Consequences Of Rights-Based
Interventions To Support Battered Women' (2001) 13 Yale Journal of Law & Feminism.
440 Dobash and Dobash, (1992). 441Merry (2006).
442 Nazand Begikhani, Aisha k. Gill, and Gill Hague. ‘Honour-Based Violence: Experiences and
offenses are based on the purpose of conceiving children in marriage; romance is bad and is not real, women should not dishonour her family by talking to a male stranger on the street. A sexual action outside of marriage is deemed dishonourable and the family can redeem their honour if they punish the culprits. Women are considered the culprits in these situations and family members are considered victims.443 It is achievable to say that the study of violence against women in the context of Middle Eastern countries has received attention by academic activities, Muslim scholars, Western Scholars, national and international institutions.
Meanwhile, it is important to draw on the accuracies of some women’s experiences of violence in Jordan. Different cases show how incidents of violence against women are handled in the Jordanian justice system. Some cases also illustrate how women use the justice system as a last option to seek fair decisions. When a woman feels and believes that there is a threat of actual danger to her and her children and there is no other possibility to continue with her marriage, then a woman may pursue and request an official intervention. Some such women are subject to physical and verbal abuse, divorce, and rape. I presented some stories from the fieldwork to show the potential consequences of reporting their husbands.
During the fieldwork, a participant, F28, shared her story. It reflects and demonstrates the experience of violence in Jordan. The reason she reported her case of her husband and his family abusing her was because of her belief that she could try to find a way to stop her humiliation and stand up for herself, rather than relying on the police or her family. Her case demonstrates the societal authorization of a husband’s right to beat his wife.444 The
443 ibid, (2015).
444 Muhammad M. Haj-Yahia, 'Can People's Patriarchal Ideology Predict Their Beliefs About
first time I met her I could see the sadness in her eyes, so I gave her a piece of paper to draw what she thinks about her life. She drew a candle and when I asked her what she meant she said, ‘I am just like this candle, which burns to light the way for others’. She is a 30-year-old married woman. She has a BA degree but no job. She has two children. She explained how she lives under pressure from her husband. She has her duties as a wife to fulfil and her work at home where she lives with her mother–in-law, and two brothers and sisters-in-law who are not married. She said:
I feel like I’m going crazy, I stay at home all day long. I do the cooking and cleaning, and I must get everything done on time. It feels like it’s never going to end. My mother taught me how to do everything and how to please my husband. My mother-in-law keeps complaining about the cleaning–that it is not good enough and if I answer her back, she tells her son (my brother-in-law) so, he starts to beat me up. And when my
husband comes back from work he is verbally abusive and beats me up too. I tried to tell my parents to intervene. They said that your husband is your family now and you have to show respect for his family and don’t ever think of divorce, it is not an acceptable action in our family. Where would I go? I earn no money…I won’t be able to earn enough for a place on my own. People will blame me that I’ am going to find another man and my family will condemn my action. I decided to report that to the police and I thought they would be in solidarity with me...that as a man he would understand my situation…I was scared, and I didn’t want anyone to know that I was at the police station… He said that I have to go home, and it brings shame on me to report my husband… also, he asked, if he were to arrest my husband who would spend money on my
children...I felt that had no choice.445
This story is a sample of a husband beating that is overlooked because of society approval. The police did not question the participant F28 actions against her husband and his family because it is shameful to report her husband. This act is a crime heavily
shamed by law, but this law is usually not enforced by most police officers and there would be no actual action or procedures taken against the husband or family members. The truth of the situation is that the police officer believes that the woman will drop her charges because the insults and abuse are not sufficiently serious to report to the police, and police officers have even less desire to intervene in the case of violence committed by other family members such as a mother-in–law. Moreover, a woman may drop charges against an abuser if she is compelled to share her private marriage life in detail with strangers.446
The common belief that a husband has the right to beat his wife if there is a reason is also fostered in the legal system. Islam is blamed because people believe it is encouraged in the Qur’an, so both above cases are perfect examples of societal acceptance and of approval for the husbands’ violence. However, the truth is that the Qur’an demonstrates that DV is forbidden and wrong. This will be discussed further in chapter six... The Qur’an states
ٌبا ﱠوَأ ُهﱠنِإ َعْلاُدْب َﻢْﻌِن ا ًرِباَص ُهاَنْدَج َو اﱠنِإ ْﺚَﻨْﺤَﺗ َل َو ِهِّب ب ِرْضاَف اًﺜْﻐ ِض َكِدَيِب ْﺬُﺧ
The meaning of this verse is explained below: (Allah said to Ayyub) Take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike
(beat) therewith (your wife) and break not your oath. Truly! We found him patient. How excellent a slave! Verily, he was ever oft returning in repentance to us! 447[Saad 38:44]
446H Mc Gregor and A Hopkins, 'Working For Change: The Movement Against Domestic Violence', Domestic Violence Law Reform and Women's Experience in Court (1st edn, Cambria 2008).
Ayyub’s, peace be upon him, wife had done something that made him upset with her. That time he was sick and couldn’t do anything regarded it. So he swore an oath that he would beat her with one hundred blows, if God healed him. When God healed him, and all the pain in his body disappeared, he didn’t know what to do with his oath regarding his wife. She served him for eighteen years with kindness and mercy day and night. God showed him the way out to avoid breaking his oath by taking one hundred stems of thin grass and hit his wife once.448
Also, Prophet Muhammad condemned violence against women, saying, ‘The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my Family’.449[Tirmidthi]
While Ms. Bakhtiar, an Iranian-American who worked on translating the Qur’an
explained, in the offices of Kazi Publications in Chicago, 'When the prophet had difficulty with his wives, what did he do? He didn't beat anybody, so why would any
Muslim do what the prophet did not?'450 The former President of the Islamic Society of
North America, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddqi, states that a husband has authority in the house, but he should use it with kindness and respect to his wife. So, he should resolve any problem in a peaceful manner by seeking counsel from the elders in the family or from friends to resolve the differences. However, he might use a disciplinary action in some extreme cases such as moral infraction of his wife, if he is sure that it will improve the situation.451 Sheikh Dr. Ahman Muhammad Al-Tayyeb, the head of Al-Azhar, Sunni
448 Muhammad Saed Abdul-Rahman, The Meaning And Explanation Of The Glorious
Qur'an. Vol 8 (2nd edn, MSA Publication 2009).
449'Does Domestic Violence Have A Cure?' (Nour-dv.org.uk, 2013) http://nour- dv.org.uk/2013/01 accessed 2014.
450 (MacFarquhar,2007).
451 Mohammed Abdul Malek, 'Does The Qur'an Allow Beating Of Women?' (1988) 251 Islamic
Research Foundation International, Inc
Islam’s most prestigious institution says the ‘light beating’ and ‘punching’ are part of a program to ‘reform the wife’.452 It is argued that the Quran doesn’t authorize violence against women because Allah says:
Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.453 Also, Allah says: ‘And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect’.454
It is worth noting that there is no law that allows a degree of physical punishment or discipline female member of the family however, law allows parents to use physical force against their children between the ages of 2 and 12.455I drew on my own experience growing up in Jordan. Islam has helped to improve women’s status and living conditions towards a level equivalent with men. Islam has prohibited violence against women and required men to treat their spouses with respect, mercy and love. Women are free to seek knowledge, jobs and sign contracts. Men have obligations to set women free in a humane manner in case of divorce (discussed in more details in chapter 3and 6).456
The case above highlights the economic dependency of women on their husbands; and how they become victims of the legal system. For example, the police officer told the
452'Islam: Can A Husband Beat His Wife?' (Thereligionofpeace.com, 2002) <http://www.thereligionofpeace.com> accessed 2015.
453 (Quran: An-Nisaa 19) 454 (Quran: Ar-Rum 21).
455 'Child Discipline- Ontario Parents’ Knowledge, Beliefs and Behaviours'. (Best start Resource
Centre 2014). By par health nexus sante’
456 Azizah Al-Hibri, 'Islam, Law And Custom: Redefining Muslim Women's Rights' (1997) 12
woman F28 to go home and not escalate the dispute between her and her husband’s family, saying that no harm had been done and advising her to be smart and think how to rebuild her relationships with them. In this case, the police officer asked her to avoid violence and obey the family members, which may have led to an increase in the level of violence.457 The police officer’s point of view was that, many women, shortly after filing a complaint, come back to withdraw it. Therefore, in his opinion it was better to give the woman more time to calm down and think before taking any action that would lead to a family break up. Independent of any social pressure, economic dependency on a husband makes it difficult for a woman to proceed with her charge; as a result, women choose to withdraw their complaints.458 Arresting men, due to the family structure and relations accompanied with the economic and social reliance of women on their partners, may not be considered a workable solution to a woman’s problems. In an interview with some legal professionals, FLP5 explained:
There are no programmes that tackle families in place. The country does not draw the attention of its residents to the importance of the family as the main pillar of society. The people in charge of protecting and reforming families are not trained according to the required procedures.459
Moreover, one of the participants, F55, confirms that, ‘I came to the Family Protection seeking help from my husband because he beats me severely but unfortunately the procedures are not very tough and effective in stopping him from abusing me’.460
As a lawyer from Mizan, MLP2, has mentioned,
457 Catherine Kirkwood, Leaving Abusive Partners (Newbury Park, Calif 1993). P 63-73 458 Elizabeth Topliffe, 'Why Civil Protection Orders Are Effective Remedies For Domestic
Violence But Mutual Protective Orders Are Not' (1991) 67 Indiana Law Journal <http://www.repository.law.indiana.edu/ilj/vol67/iss4/6>. P 1041.
459 Interview with a female lawyer participant (FLP5) JCLA (JCLA, Nov 2013) 289. Appendix 2. 460 Interview with a female participant (F55) FPD (FPD, Sep 2013) 318. Appendix 2.
A national strategy must be approved to fight violence against women. The legislations relating to women’s protection from violence must be activated, as well as there being policies to deter social violence developed. Policies have to be amended in line with international agreements and the government has to establish family courts to deal with family problems. The efforts of the CSOs have to be united and the roles related to violence against women have to be divided.461
During my empirical research I found plenty of evidence that the current law on violence does not offer major contributions to solving the issue of violence against women.