Actores Sociales

Carl is a first-generation, first-year student who came to Midwest College from Kentucky. He was an active participant in the Midwest College Class of 2017 Facebook Group. He also happens to be a gay man who was closeted while at home. Almost from the moment he set foot on campus, Carl set about redefining himself and being the authentic self he never felt able to be in his home community. Carl was clearly seeking to distance himself from his roots in Kentucky, while still finding ways to stay connected to his family. Even his selection of Midwest College represented something that he aspired to. As he told me in our first interview, “I thought [the name] sounded fancy and

strategy” (October 22, 2013). Despite applying to Midwest College for ‘wrong’ reasons, Carl had definite criteria for the new community in which he would settle.

I was looking for a chance to kind of start over. Definitely I was looking forward to being in a place where I could come out. That was definitely a huge thing. I almost didn’t, but I am really glad I did. And I know this sounds really cliché, but getting away from all the drama of Kentucky, because there is so much stupid stuff that goes on there. It’s nice not having to deal with people who are the stereotypical people from Kentucky, don’t really care, kind of apathetic about stuff. People here seem to care about stuff and don’t really do stuff that’s like ‘in your face, I can’t believe you just did that.’ Definitely starting over, and being able to have the space where I could feel comfortable coming out...and being able to kind of forget about some stuff in the past. (January 27, 2014)

Within his first 48 hours on campus, Carl changed his first name to something he preferred over his given name and found that space where he could feel comfortable coming out. Those two experiences seem to have cemented his sense of belonging at Midwest College. “I’ve never felt so connected to a place as I have here” (October 22, 2013). In fact, Carl’s sense of connection to the college and his new peers deepened so quickly that he began to disconnect with those people from Kentucky with whom he had any Facebook connections. “I connect with people here. I am deleting people from Kentucky whenever they show up on

my newsfeed. I don’t talk to you, I probably never will talk to you again, and I just delete them” (October 22, 2013).

Through the course of his first semester, Carl has had an idealized

experience of Midwest College. A trip to Kentucky for a visit over Thanksgiving and evenings spent with the few friends from home whom he did maintain ties with provided insight into just how strong this perception is. “There’s people I can hang out with, but it just kind of seems like they’re sub-par” (December 13, 2013). Because his family had no Facebook presence, and he had deleted his other

Kentucky connections, Carl felt a bit more isolated on his return visit, and his connections from home suffered further as a result. “I had fun, but I think if they were students here I would like them a lot more, as bad as it sounds...I tell people I like Midwest College people a lot better as a whole than people from my high school, just because they are a different kind of people” (December 3, 2013).

For Carl, cutting ties to home—through Facebook and in other ways— strengthened his sense of connectedness to Midwest College. He did not have to worry about any posts that he might make which would raise questions about his sexual orientation for his community in Kentucky. He felt able to be authentic and open about his sexual orientation.

It feels a lot better to not have to hide that. It may be why I like the people here more. That’s at least part of the reason that I like it more here. I even changed my name when I came here. It used to be Trevor, but that wasn’t really a symbolic thing I was just tired of Trevor and I couldn’t ever

change it because everyone knew me as Trevor. When I went home, I was Trevor again, and I hate that name. That might be part of the reason I prefer to be here. (December 3, 2013)

Carl’s strong sense of connection to Midwest College allowed him to thrive personally; he spoke of coming out on campus as giving him an opportunity to redefine himself, and he became involved in student government and with the student newspaper. For him, one important aspect of belonging is intention or agency. Knowing that he had a choice about where to be, and that he was there on purpose was important.

Through the course of his transition to Midwest College, Carl’s Facebook usage shifted from focused use to addicted use. He began with a very intentional desire to make connections with peers as he transitioned to a new space and redefined himself. As he found his place at the College and severed connections with many of his former friends from his home community, his frequency of usage did not change, though his perceived value of his Facebook interactions diminished greatly. Carl ultimately described his usage of Facebook as

“hypnotizing”:

When I’m bored, I’ll pop on my newsfeed and just scroll through. And sometimes I’ll do it like ten times a day, and nine of those times I’ve already read it. And I’ll notice it, but it’s like that doesn’t even matter. It's like, hypnotizing or something. (January 27, 2014)