Afiliación (AF)

The Yoruba people, as a generalized socio-cultural group with a population of over 40 million people (National Geographic, 2001:78), are unified by a common history, language, social system and culture. According to Redd (1999:23), the people are predominantly found in Southwestern Nigeria, but are also spread across the coastal lands of the Republic of Benin, Togo, Ghana, parts of Brazil, North America and other parts of the world, and they are naturally endowed with diverse, unique and peculiar ways of life. As such, the first notable observation of a first-time visitor to any part of Yorubaland is the richness and variety of the visible culture of the people, set on learned and internalized norms. One of such is the unique value system that surrounds the people‘s culture of child-rearing practices which is interrelated to their distinctive parenting styles, child-training techniques, socialization processes and personality type (Elegbede, 2005:86).

Child-rearing among the Yoruba can be described as a deliberate attempt to ―teach‖ the child from an early age how to relate to others appropriately, be helpful, responsible, and respectful (Babatunde, 1992; Zeitlin et al., 1995). There are different child-rearing practices that are peculiar to the Yoruba, but most of the essential components of the patterns consist of the use of systematic and multiple exemplary repetitions of inculcation of obedience, responsibility, nurturance, self-reliance/achievement and general independence training. In other words, children are generally taught how to listen, observe, and imitate their parents, family members, relatives, and other adults who exhibit all or some of the fundamental behavioural attributes of these components of training (Babatunde, 1992; Ohuche and Otaala, 1981).

Hence, the first universal process of bringing up children by the people involves the act of teaching the medium of communication which is Yoruba language, coupled with the infusion of other ―appropriate‖ ways of being fitted into the society. For instance, respect for elders is reflected through greetings, courteous expressions and respectful phrases reflecting seniority.

Boys are trained to prostrate themselves before their superiors, while girls are trained to curtsy by kneeling down (Babatunde, 1992). Likewise, children are trained to be selfless and

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responsible through their participation in household chores and running of errands. Before age five, Yoruba girls are usually trained on how to perform household chores, namely, washing, sweeping, cooking and how to take care of their younger siblings (Akinware et al., 1992).

The act of inculcating these cultural norms into children is believed by the people to be the customary responsibility of all who reside within the society. That is, it is generally viewed as not being the obligation of the biological parents alone but that of all members of the extended family and the society at large. This perception is thus reflected in one of the Yoruba sayings on child rearing: ―Eyo eniyan kansoso lo nbi‟mo, igba eniyan lo n woo” meaning, "An individual gives birth to a child but it takes a whole village to raise the child". Therefore, the Yoruba parents receive a great deal of support from neighbours, friends, extended family members and others in the society during the upbringing of their children (Osundeko, 2006:5). Indeed, as Fadipe (1970: 311) observes of the traditional family in Yorubaland,

Owing to the strength of kinship and neighbourly solidarity, the members of the extended-family and neighbours have certain powers of control and discipline over juvenile members. These powers may extend to infliction of physical pain, in some cases, or an obligation to report a serious breach of the peace to parents.

In the Yoruba family setting, the biological parents are naturally saddled with the responsibility of providing their children‘s basic nutritional, care, nurture, social and psychological developmental needs. For instance, mothers are expected to breastfeed their infant children for a prolonged duration that will last for a minimum of one (1) year but exceptions are given to nursing mothers with health-related problems. The father or father-figure in the home is expected to be the breadwinner of the family and he is principally burdened with the responsibility of providing the financial needs of the family. He is also in charge of establishing the bonding norms and the rules and regulations governing everyone in the household. Although both the biological father and mother are mainly responsible for the supervision and execution of rules and regulation, the extended family members and other members of the society also play active disciplinary roles. The duties and responsibilities associated with child care, nurturing and upbringing practices, are not considered to be the exclusive obligation of the biological parents, but are rather conceptualized as the duty of everyone that surrounds the child during his/her developmental stages (Fapohunda, 1982:277).

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As the child grows from infancy to toddler, the mother or mother-figure in the household is expected to educate the child on toilet training and other appropriate developmental activities.

All female members of the extended family, grandmothers, and sisters-in-law in particular, also play supportive roles. For a woman to be considered a good mother by the Yoruba, she must be able to harmoniously combine the act of caring and nurturing her child with other activities that provide her with some financial income.

In terms of discipline, the biological father and mother are required to administer a disciplinary check that is of commensurate measure to an erring child. In a consanguineous family compound, however, all members ensure that they dutifully supervise and discipline any violating child of a family member, but such disciplinary duty designated to extended family members are sometimes frown at by the biological parents. This is illustrated in the Yoruba saying: “Ba mi no omo min, kii de „nu olomo”, meaning ―Spanking a child by other parties could be unsatisfactory to the biological parents‖. Nevertheless, a child that misbehaves is usually punished by any elderly person present and, in most cases, such punitive violations are later analysed and explained to the child for the avoidance of similar pitfalls in the future.

Quite often, children are sent to live in the homes of any member of the extended family, friends, neighbours depending on the natal family or friendship situation. This practice among the Yoruba is a form of voluntary child fostering that is usually employed in checking and training children living with their biological parents. The practice also provides children with some measures of socio-economic security which their biological parents cannot afford.

Similarly, the practice encourages children to identify with their extended family members, who assist with the improvement of their social, economic and educational training. This practice affords the children an opportunity to learn aspects of their culture from people other than their parents. As Fadipe (1970: 311) notes of the traditional family system,

The education of the young Yoruba in the codes of manners, convention, customs, morals, superstitions and laws of his society is therefore achieved through various members of his family and household, his extended-family (usually located in the same compound), his kindred and his neighbourhood. The more inclusive the group the less the direct responsibility of the average member of that group for the training of the child.

The typical traditional parenting pattern of the Yoruba may be considered authoritative or strict in nature. The adoption of this pattern by most parents is, however, based on the high

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expectations they have towards their children‘s social conformity and compliance to rules, regulations and directions. It is usually fashioned out in restrictive and punitive ways in which parents advise their children to follow stipulated directions and for them to respect parental efforts at raising them to be socially acceptable within the society. For instance, a Yoruba child is not expected to be present when elderly people are engaged in a discussion and if a child is given the privilege of being present, he/she is not expected to interfere in the said discussion.

Nevertheless, some Yoruba parents still reserve a little space for open dialogue between themselves and their children when there is a need to explain the reasoning that surrounds any disciplinary actions taken against the violation of rules and boundaries governing children‘s social conducts. It should be however noted that the people are conscious of the possibility of children‘s rebellion associated with forceful parental demands on children. Therefore, they always guide against such reality by being cautious when instructing children on customary behaviours. Nevertheless, one can still posit that children trained with authoritarian parenting style in a Yoruba household ordinarily turn out to be positively and socially competent in most cases.

At this point, it is important to indicate that the people socialize their children through some distinct enculturation process, that is, they believe there are necessary cognitive procedures of teaching children about the cultural norms and values of the society. Therefore, their children are trained to adapt to sociable conducts right from early childhood to adolescent. As such, behavioural attributes that conform to the socially acceptable moral standards are transmitted by the parents, extended family members, friends, neighbours, religious instructors, schoolteachers and other elderly members of the society to the children. This customary practice is administered to children through different forms of instruction inculcated through admonitions, monitoring of activities, scolding, spanking, punishment, rewards, and encouragement, among others. For instance, children are trained to deliberately bow down their head slightly, thereby avoiding eye contact with elderly persons during any form of interaction. Younger children or siblings are also expected to be respectful when making reference to elderly relatives and siblings. These behavioural scripts are associated with the Yoruba norm of moral respect for elders. Thus children are expected to imbibe these standards when interacting with elders.

The Yoruba children, from early childhood, are also socially stimulated through some learning processes that help them to develop a sense of self-reliance in the society. Therefore, as soon as a child is old and sensible enough to comprehend instructions (usually between ages two to six), the child is trained to learn certain domestic duties based on his/her sex. For instance, a child can be instructed through initiating conversation to do some simple tasks such as running

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errands for the adults within the household, washing of dishes, fetching of water for domestic use, among other chores. Some of these domestic skills are learned by the child through a long process of observation and imitation in which the guardian chips in comments or advice before the child would be able to execute them satisfactorily. The successful completion of errands is highly valued and rewarded through praise and increased assignment of domestic and other responsibilities (Lancy, 1996; Lloyd, 1970; Whiting and Edwards, 1988). Hence, by the time a Yoruba child reaches the age of five years and above, the seed of sex role stereotypes is already sowed into him/her and the child is expected to have started mastering the important cultural values associated with the acceptable social behaviours, moral proclivity and role expectations.

The Yoruba saying, ―Oye k‟omo to ba sise dede, l‟asiko igbadun ti yio fi j‟aye‖, meaning ―A hardworking child must be entitled to a recreational period‖, has found a strong footing in the way Yoruba children are brought up. Their children are psychologically trained to participate in refreshing activities when they are not needed for any major task. Thus, children are encouraged from their tender ages to have free playtime with a familiar social peer group. As such, it is a common phenomenon for children to identify themselves with a semi-formalized peer group within a given environment.

The traditional recreational activity for an average Yoruba male children‘s group is the act of hunting small game such as harmless reptiles found around the home, birds and rats, among others, while that of the female groups consists of playful trading activities and playing with toys. Both sexes also engage themselves quite often in the practice of sex role mastery in which the females simulate cooking activities, while the males get themselves occupied with masculine tasks such as building of sand houses, talking tough to an imagined wife or child and wrestling with one another. However, when peer groups are playfully involved at this level, the peer group formation could be made up of members of the same sex or a combination of both sexes. However, this recreational practice has been created by Yoruba parents as a social tool of transplanting the cultural bureau of sex roles into the cognition of their children, that is, the practice is a form of socializing creativity that aids the indirect teaching of sex roles. It also serves as a rehearsing exercise through which children can continuously practice their expected adult responsibility and behavioural values.

These socialization processes are the tools used in training Yoruba children into becoming value-oriented personalities that can positively fit into the normative expectations of any Yoruba community. Nevertheless, it is of importance to note that the Yoruba classification of personality types produced through these child-rearing practices follows the well-known

―good or bad‖ dichotomies. That is, when a child exhibits some socially desirable behaviours or

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shows some positive quality traits of obedience and respect, such a child is considered to be a good personality while a child that deviates from upright behaviours is considered as a bad personality.

In a nutshell, child-rearing practices among the Yoruba are an integral aspect of their non-material culture that has been undergoing both implicit and explicit transformations from the past to the present. Nevertheless, the compartmentalization of the peculiar Yoruba child-rearing practices that has been discussed above is based on the essential conventional patterns that are prevalent in any Yoruba community. However, since the conventional child-rearing practices have been recording continuous changes, it is of importance for the alterations to be documented periodically for historical purposes. It is against this background that the next section ethnographically explores parent‘s childhood upbringing experiences in Ibadan.