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feathers - may That large–eyed marvellous Brilliance (Govinda)

eternally manifest in my carnivorous heart that covets the

poisonous objects of sense-gratification.5.

Âswâd-bindu purport

rila Kavirâj Goswâmipâd is first explaining the inner meaning arising from Sri Lilâshuk’s meditation in siddha swarup. Srila Lilâshuk’s sweet bhâv was inspired even more. He said to his friends – “O Sakhis! May this wonderful indescribable Brilliance be ever manifested in my heart. (Here too, ‘Brilliance’ refers to the resplendent Sri Krishna full of lâvanya). “Dear sakhi”, you may say, “what is the use of remembering Sri Krishna whose only job is to cause grief?” The poet replies - “You are right, but what do I do? My heart is not in my control. My heart is “vishay–visha-âmisha–grasana– gridhnu” – which means - it is carnivorous and covets the poisonous objects of sense- gratification! Why does the poet call his heart ‘carnivorous’? The ordinary explanation would be: ‘Carnivorous’ means ‘meat-eater’. Meat is a forbidden food. Similarly, material enjoyments are forbidden for a devotee. So meat and material pleasure are synonymous here. The poet’s heart is engrossed in objects of sensual pleasure. He calls such objects as ‘âmish’ or ‘meat’ (which is hateful). Hence he describes his heart as ‘carnivorous’. However Srila Kavirâj Goswâmi does not buy the idea of Sri Lilâshuk being materialistic. He has explained this beautifully. He says –

The Gopis’ love is blissful as

well as tormenting

“O friends! Let me open my heart to you. First of all, I shall tell You about ‘vishay’ (material objects). ‘Vishay’ is that which appears so very sweet and thus keeps our honeybee like mind in bondage. Who else is such a ‘vishay’ other than Sri Krishna? This vishay (Sri Krishna) torments us in the same way as

vish (poison) tortures the body. Hence, it is also venomous. Dear sakhis, you may say, when it burns like poison, why are you obsessed

with it? Well, my reply is that, it is as tempting as forbidden food1

(since anything that is forbidden is more tempting). Hence, once addicted, we cannot give it up easily. This source of ‘vishay-vish’ (Shyâmsundar) is so attractive that if our heart is ever attracted by Him, He immediately devours it. My heart is so weak that it is for ever dragged by the forbidden fruit of ‘vishay-vish’, that is Sri Krishna.”

The sweet love of Braja devis is a mixture of nectar and torture. In spite of being sweet, it causes untold anguish. It is as delicious as nectar, at the same time, it is as tormenting as poison. Analytically speaking, even the agony is delicious. This torment arises from love. Love is a property of Hlâdini–shakti or the Blissful potency of Krishna. Therefore, when love is the cause of this torment, then undoubtedly, it will be blissful! Actually, this suffering is the ripened form of intense bliss. Let us consider an example – if we hold a piece of ice for a long time, we feel a burning sensation as if we have touched fire. But is there any fire? Instead, we have touched ice that is opposite of fire. Hence, we find that too much cold is causing the sensation of burning. In the same way, extremely intense blissful love is the source of agony. In the drama Vidagdha–Mâdhav, Sri Pournamâsi Devi is describing the nature of love to Sri Nândimukhi –

“O beautiful one! In whosever heart, the love for Sri Nanda-Nandan (Krishna) awakens, she realises clearly the power of crooked yet sweet love. This love inflicts a torment compared to which bitter fresh and concentrated venom appears harmless. On the other hand, it is so blissful that it puts the sweetness of nectar to shame.”

Sriman-Mahâprabhu has relished this excruciating bliss of sweet love in Gambhirâ pastimes –

“eimoto dine dine, swarup – râmânanda – sane, nija bhab koren bidito,

bahye bisha – jwala hoy, bhitore anandamoy, krishna premar adbhut chariot.”

“Daily, He expressed His bhâv in the association of Swarup–Dâmodar and Râmânanda Roy. Externally He felt the torment of consuming poison while internally He was blissful. How extraordinary is Krishna–prem!”

“ei premer asvadan, tapta – ikshu – charban, mukh jwale, na jay tejan.

1 Non-vegetarian food

A sweet

explanation of

‘vishay’ or

material

objects

ei prema jar mone, tanr bikram sei jane, bishamrite ekatra milan.”

“The relish of this love is like that of hot sugarcane juice. The mouth burns but it is so enjoyable you cannot leave it. One who has felt this love alone will know its power. It is a combination of poison and nectar.”

-(Sri Chaitanya-Charitâmrita – Madhya.2.44-45) The Gopi says – “O sakhi! An insect cannot resist the temptation of the fire in spite of being consumed by its flames. I too don’t mind if the flame–like Sri Krishna devours me, but I shall not give up being enticed by His beauty.”

Sriman-Mahâprabhu says –

“Fire attracts insects towards itself by displaying its brilliance, and then kills it. Similarly Krishna pulls our minds by exhibiting His fascinating qualities, and then flings us in the ocean of grief.” – (Sri Chaitanya-Charitâmrita - Madhya.2.24)

The poet who is in the bhâv of a sakhi said: The face of this lustrous God is so beautiful with its so-sweet smile. His eyes are so large! His hairstyle with its intoxicated1 peacock feathers is so captivating! O Sakhi! The peacocks of Sri Vrindâban are inebriated with good fortune. When Sri Krishna enters the pastures of Vrindâban to graze the cattle, the peacocks see their feathers atop His crown and consider themselves most fortunate! They fan out their feathers and dance all around Him. Govinda too balances Himself on His hands and dances sweetly like them. Seeing Him dancing, they dance more jubilantly, thus shedding their feathers. Shyâmsundar thinks, they are so happy with my dance that they are offering me these feathers as reward. So He reverently and joyously picks them up and decorates His head with them. The peacocks are indeed fortunate!

Sometimes the peacocks behold Sri Krishna’s fresh cloud-like splendour, get intoxicated with love and start dancing attractively. The feathers that they shed due to this inebriated love, adorn Sri Krishna’s curly locks. Hence, the Gopis too get intoxicated with love when they behold His crown.

‘mada-shikhi’ means intoxicated feathers. It expresses the how much the peacocks are

under the influence of His love and how their feathers bounce in jubilation.

Explanation of ‘vishaya-vish-âmisha – grasana – gridhnu’

‘There is an external meaning of the verse ‘vishaya-vish-âmisha–grasana–gridhnu’. It refers to the worldly pleasures such as money, wealth, women etc. These material objects are indeed poisonous or tortuous. We shall never get peace if we partake of these material objects. It will only result in pain. Srila Narottam dâs Thâkur Mahâshay has said –

1

Since the peacock-feathers dance like inebriated person

The peacocks of Vrindâban are extremely fortunate

“bishay garalmay, tate mâno sukhachay, sei sukha duhkha kori mâno. gobinda bishay-ras, sanga koro tânr dâs,

prema-bhakti satyo kori jâno.”

Meaning: - “Worldly pleasures are poisonous. Consider such pleasures to be harbingers of sorrow. Real ras exists in Lord Govinda (Krishna) alone. Always associate with His servants (devotees). Know love and devotion to be the Ultimate Truth.”

Money, wealth and sex are extremely agonising. Still, waylaid men consider these pleasurable. Because of associating with these worldly objects, the living entity keeps on moving in the cycle of birth and death. The living entity is conditioned to be addicted to material objects since infinity. He is greedy for ras. You cannot stop him from desiring

ras. He will be able to give up this very poisonous lowly ras

only if it is replaced by some sweet nectarine ras of very high quality. A fortunate devotee who is engaged in practising

prem-bhakti sâdhanâ gets the opportunity of relishing this ras

only when he associates with great Krishna-devotees. Then he forsakes the lethal ordeal that worldly objects inflict, and starts floating in the ocean of nectar.

Sri Lilâshuk is saying – even if this venom is distressful, it is ‘âmish’ or forbidden fruit. Medini-Kosh dictionary states “‘Âmish’ also means ‘tempting’”. If Sri Krishna mercifully appears in my heart that is otherwise so engrossed in worldly objects, then alone it is possible to have a ‘sphurti’. Or else He is out-of-reach for a fallen soul as myself - “May my heart forever enthrone such an inexpressible Splendour” – this is Sripâd Lilâshuk’s humble prayer.5.

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Importance of association

Verse 6

mukulâyamâna – nayan – ambujam vibhor