Antecedentes

Kali Carbonicum’s three main issues in life are: fear of aloneness, irrita-bility, and a tendency to be outrageously unkind to the people in her life, and these issues can affect Kali’s relationships in many different ways.

When interviewing Kalis about their childhood experiences, I am struck by how many fond memories they often have. One Kali Carbonica woman told me that she felt closest to her mom, who encouraged everyone to truly be them-selves. Her father was rather strict and stern and wasn’t around very much, but they were still very close to each other as a family. She described how they were always doing things together, like playing together and going on outings, picnics and family re-unions. She told me that once you are part of the family, you can’t do anything to get out of it. Even if you do something the family disapproves of, they may pretend it never happened, but they would never even consider dis-owning anyone. She also explained how, when she became a teenager and needed more space to do her own things, the connection to her family was almost too much because there was always something they were supposed to be doing together.

When she was a child, she used to play with her brother and sister, and the neighbor’s children. One of the hardest thing she experienced as a child was when she went inside to get a drink, or to use the bathroom, and the other children were gone when she came back out. If they had run away, or if they were hiding from her somewhere, she felt totally left out, sad and forsaken. She felt that you should always be able to depend on your family and friends, and that nobody should ever have to be left out of the group.

I have seen the same tendency in other Kali clients as well. One Kali woman was a sports enthusiast, and most of her friends were team mates. Her father had taught her how to be good in sports, and that became the way she chose to relate to people and make friends. Another Kali joined a local religious

group and spent much of her spare time pursuing her religious interests with likeminded people. Kali feels anxious and vulnerable when she has to be alone, and she is much happier if she can be part of a group of some kind.

A Kali is probably one of the best team mates you can find, whether it is in sports or in business. They love company, and they like making decisions together with others. In addition to being good team players, Kalis are reliable and responsible by nature. If Kali says she is going to do something, you can count on it. One Kali woman told me that she considers herself “over-responsible.” She always tries to keep her word, even if she sometimes wishes that she hadn’t committed herself in the first place. Another Kali woman was working in a government building. She was so conscientious that she would go to work an hour early every day, just to organize her desk and make sure she was properly prepared for the work she was expected to do that day. That kind of conscientiousness and dedication is very rare, so she is probably much appre-ciated by the company she works for.

Kalis are often so reliable that people find it easy to trust them. They usually stick to the rules and do what is expected, and they have a good eye for detail. They work systematically and often do well in areas of science and re-search.

Kali’s whole life revolves around relationships, family relationships, work relationships or groups of friends doing things together. Kali may have a hard time dealing with casual contacts. They often don’t feel socially at ease unless they know they have common areas of interest, so they do better when joining some kind of group first, and then getting to know the people in the group. Light and superficial “chit-chat” usually doesn’t appeal to Kali at all.

There are certain issues that often show up more in Kali’s personal relationships than in business relationships. In personal relationships Kali is, first of all, looking for friendship, and secondly, intellectual connection. Kali loves stimulating conversation, and because she is primarily a mental type, the mental connection is very important to her. She often looks at everything from a very rational point of view, and she can easily develop fixed ideas of how things should be. Kali Carbonicum is a metal remedy, and metal remedies are often stubborn when it comes to what they like or don’t like. Kali likes being in con-trol; and things need to make sense to her in a very logical way. If someone acts irrationally in any way, Kali will step in and give advice or criticism, regardless of whether someone has asked her for advice, or not. She has good intentions and means well when she expresses her opinions. She only expresses what makes sense to her, and she is convinced that her advice is in the other person‘s best interest. If, however, the other person doesn’t take her advice, she often feels offended and irritable. This can lead to discontent and general irritability and quarrelsomeness. We can often see this kind of irritability and desire to

scold or criticize, especially towards her mate or children, if they don’t listen to her advice. In this situation, Kali may not treat any of them very nicely, hence the rubric “Company, desire for, treats them outrageously, yet“.

Kali’s stubbornness can also make her less spontaneous than other types, and this can also become an issue in her relationships. She likes to stick with a daily routine, and she likes planning things ahead of time in a logical manner.

She is not too happy when someone spontaneously wants her to change her plans. A Kali would probably never go on a vacation without having a proper travel itinerary. She would like to know, ahead of time, where she is going to stay, what she is going to see, and how long she is going to be in each place. She simply doesn’t like surprises because surprises aren’t always pleasant, and she always feels better when she is more in control.

However, the lack of spontaneity is often well balanced with what Kali has to offer in a relationship. She is loyal, dedicated to her family, responsible, trustworthy and consistent in her views. She has a great ability to create a safe, secure environment for herself, her mate and her children. She shares her sense of integrity and values with the people in her life, and in return she needs other people’s support so she can also feel secure. Kali feels the happiest in relation-ships where everyone involved value mutual dependence and togetherness, and everybody supports everybody else. In this kind of relationship, she will always feel a great sense of belonging that quickly puts her mind at ease.