Apuntes para una propuesta

It is noteworthy that even with the changes in the institution of marriage in Kerala the attitude favours higher age at marriage for both men and women. During discussions on the proper age for men and women to marry, 7 0 per cent of men and 68 per cent of women gave a median

age of 27 for men and 20 for women. The reasons most often cited for choosing these ages were concern over women's health in early marriages. For instance, in the case of Leelamma, her husband's family proposed the marriage when she was 17 years old, but her parents did not perform the marriage because they thought she was still young. However, in this case her husband's family waited for three years for the marriage to take place. But there were instances where the bridegroom's family did not wait for the bride's family's decisions, a./\cL he married somebody else. Nevertheless, the bride's family were not upset with such occurrences.

It is also believed that men should be mature enough to assume family responsibility before the marriage is arranged. Early sex is also deemed bad for a man's health. Men often preferred to marry women in their twenties who would be mature enough to take care of the home properly.

The age for marriage preferred in Palankara is high compared to that favoured by people in the village in Karnataka state where I conducted a similar kind of study. Caldwell and others found elsewhere in Karnataka that median ages of 25 for men and 18 for women were considered the proper ages to marry (Caldwell et a l ., 1983:350). Furthermore, in the Karnataka villages parents started the arrangement of a daughter's marriage soon after or at times even before the girl had attained menarche.

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The ages at which attempts are made by parents to arrange marriages have risen in the study village to relatively high levels. The average age at first attempt at marriage of girls rose from 18 years for those who were married during 1950-69 to 20 years for those who were married during the period 1970-84. The first attempt at marriage means the age at which the parents earnestly start considering the marriage of their sons and daughters. Parents generally start the arrangements for their children keeping in mind the time spent in negotiating the marriages. This is influenced by the existing values on proper age at marriage and also social and economic conditions of the family.

Similarly, for men the average age at first attempt at marriage rose from 26 years for those who were married in 1950-69 to 28 years for those who were married in 1970-84. These figures are clearly similar to the perceived 'proper' age at marriage mentioned by people.

The favourable attitude to a relatively higher age at marriage is mainly because the women in matrilineal communities enjoyed a better status. The marriage practices which existed in the past favoured higher age at marriage and the same attitude continued and was strengthened by social changes in the country as a whole. Furthermore, Chrstianity also favoured higher age at marriage and Chrstian women also enjoyed better status in the state than elsewhere in India.

Apart from the cultural factors, other socio-economic factors also influenced the age at marriage. Some of these factors were similar to what is found in other parts of India, for instance, dowry, matching horoscopes, socio­ economic status, and, arrangement of the marriage of the oldest children first (although preference is given to a daughter's marriage if the family has both sons and daughters of marriageable age) . However, the age at marriage is rising faster in Palankara and in Kerala than elsewhere in India, despite some similarities, because of culturally favourable attitude towards higher age at marriage.

A family's economic condition was an important factor in arranging a marriage in a particular year. A family has to raise money for a daughter's dowry and for the expenses of the marriage ceremony. The following example shows how marriages are delayed through financial constraints.

When Ramani was 16 years old a family proposed the marriage of their son to her. Her elder brother ignored the proposal as she was in school and he thought she was still young. The next serious attempt at marriage occurred when she was 21 years old. Although everything else was agreed, the marriage alliance broke off because the bridegroom's family wanted the marriage to take place in April but her family wanted it in August so that her brother would raise money to pay the dowry. When her family did not agree the bridegroom's family demanded more than R s . 3500 (which was her share in the property) . So her brother did not agree to their demands. Only when she was 2 6 years old, she found a partner who agreed to all the demands of both her family and his own family

(Sushama, Field notes, 1985).

Similarly, in the case of Sajini her mother had to raise money for the dowry, some gold jewellery and marriage expenses as her father died when she was 17 years. Not only were finances a problem but there was no one who could make arrangements such as finding a proper match. Since her mother was a labourer she could not give a huge sum as dowry. Only when she was 2 6 years she got a

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