BAJO EBRO

It is easy to follow all of the above four realms of control relating to the self. It is a matter of discipline and habit to gain control of your thoughts, your emotions, your nerve energy and your bodily functions. Our fifth realm of control is a little more difficult for it has to do with the actions of others. You cannot always control the actions of others, but you can control their ef- fect on you and your destiny. With your mind power you can, to a great ex- tent, determine the people you will attract into your orbit of activity. The quality of the persons you attract as friends will, to a great extent, determine their influence on your future destiny. Choose your friends well and when you have made your choice, use the following regime of control to make cer- tain that your friends and acquaintances do not infringe on your privacy and affect your decisions and actions.

Regime For Control Of Other People

1. To control other people you must first win their respect and admira- tion. People will be friendly to you if you first show friendliness towards them. In social groups, where you do not know many people and you wish to enlarge your sphere of friends, make yourself known to others. Be friendly and take the initiative in breaking the social ice. They are as anxious to be friends as you are but many times people are hampered by conventions and modesty and will not take the first step to be friends.

An example of this in my own life is an instance where I went to a big Hollywood party and saw a lonely looking, unattractive man sitting in a cor- ner by himself. No one paid any attention to him. They were all courting the famous stars, directors and producers who were there. I sought out the lonely looking man and introduced myself, not knowing his identity, and chatted with him for fully an hour. I found him amusing, well-read and charming.

When he got up to leave he said, “I am very much impressed by you, young man, and I’d like to have lunch with you one day so we can talk some more.” He handed me his card and made a luncheon date for the following week. I glanced at the card and saw that it was Irvin Cobb, the famous humorist and novelist. His taciturn appearance often kept people from making friends with him, but he had a heart of gold, a wonderful sense of humor and turned out to be one of my best friends. Through his contacts I was able to further my early career tremendously.

2. When you meet a person for the first time try to fix his name in your mind for future reference. Also make it a point to talk about things that inter- est him. In this way you can direct his interest and attention to those subjects that he is conversant with. His wife, his children, his work, his home, his car; these are all things that give him a sense of familiarity with you, and make him like you without being conscious of the reasons why.

3. If you really want to win control of other people, try to avoid what I call rough corners in the conversation. Avoid discussing differing viewpoints in religion, politics and other controversial subjects. When you know a per- son better you can risk offending him by giving your opposing viewpoints. Get the other person to drift along with you on the conversational stream and you’ll find that it is easier to get control of his mind than if you oppose him and make him dislike you at once.

4. When you meet new friends make it a point to try and praise some- thing in their personality, their clothes, their voices, or something they have accomplished which merits praise. People like flattery and you can gain con- trol of friends through subtle praise and flattery.

One man I know who is a real estate broker has mastered this principle of control of others to a fine point. He told me his secret one day: “I make every man feel like a prince and every woman like a queen,” he said. “I try to find out something about the person’s work and then I praise his ability and his accomplishments. It works like magic. Of course,” he hastened to add, “I am sincere in my praise. I really choose something that I admire about the person or his work, otherwise I would not sound convincing and sincere.”

“This man has made millions of dollars in business through this simple formula to control other people.

5. When you first meet a person get on a personal and emotional level with him as soon as possible. Remember the four things that mean most to everyone emotionally.

A. Self-preservation. Things pertaining to food, nourishment and gen- eral health. This is always a safe topic of conversation and interests everyone.

B. Money and financial security. People all like to discuss business, the stock market, the business they are in and other things pertaining to money.

C. Love and sex. This is always a good topic of conversation, if kept on a dignified, intelligent basis.

D. Ego-recognition or social acceptance. When you give a person your attention and praise you are automatically elevating his ego and this cannot help but win his admiration of you.

6. When you are trying to win control of others, use the word “you” in your conversation as much as possible. Get the person to agree with you and soon you will control the direction of his thoughts. People are conditioned to self-interest. This is not selfishness; it is a matter of early training and mental conditioning. The word “you” is more appealing to others than the word “I.” Remember this when you first meet people and you will soon win their atten- tion and be able to control them.

7. Encourage and inspire a person, if you are trying to win his friend- ship and control of his mind. Too often people discourage others and this dampens their enthusiasm and makes them withdraw into a shell. If you give encouragement and inspiration to a person, he will remember you affectio- nately, because this is an unusual trait. Most people knock others and tend to discourage and disparage them.

THE SIXTH REALM OF CONTROL: