I once dated a guy who I had to shake every so often in the hope of making him laugh. Ladies, be able to laugh at yourselves. I beg you, stop being so serious.
Life is meant to be enjoyed, not to be frightened of.
Take a quick glance at any poll about what the opposite sex fi nds most attractive, and I’ll guarantee a sense of humour beats a tight butt every time.
Run. Dance. Swim. Whatever!
Speaking of a tight butt, working up a sweat induces endorphins. You feel good, you look good, your confi -dence increases and things spiral outwards from there.
You don’t have to spend hours at the gym (quite frankly, that gets rather boring) but thirty minutes a day will have you looking and feeling good. Plus there are plenty of hotties at the gym, down at the beach or at the local swimming pool.
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Many singletons I’ve interviewed over the years have jettisoned the idea that you can meet someone at the gym. ‘Too sweaty,’ one sniffed. And ‘there are no men in my yoga class!’ lamented another. While I admit there may not be suitable gents doing the downward dog, why not try the other areas of the gym? The weights are a perfect place to scope out potential talent (I’ve met at least two dates there), while strutting your stuff on the treadmill is the ideal oppurtunity to scope out the talent.
I’ve even had a friend meet her future beau while waiting in line to use the water cooler after a pump session!
Places to go
Sporting events
Ladies, as much as we enjoy hitting the town with girlfriends for giggles and granitas, there’s no point in fi shing in a fi shless pond. Get tickets for the football instead, or learn how to play pool.
‘Straight men hang out in a pool hall,’ says Dave Singleton. ‘After months of no dates, should you skip seeing the girly fl ick with your gal pal in favour of having beers and hanging out with hustlers, sharks and 8-balls? Of course.’
‘I met Jim at a boxing match,’ Karen exclaimed proudly when she showed me the rock on her fi nger.
‘There were all these sweaty men there and hardly any women. It was the perfect pick-up joint for the single gal.’
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Buying the milk
You may not like me for what I’m about to tell you but if there’s one thing you should take from this book about meeting men, it’s this: ALWAYS be prepared.
You know that nightmare you have where you meet the man of your dreams when you’re not wearing any make-up and are dressed in your frumpiest yoga gear or your well-worn tracky daks and food-stained ugg boots? Well, you don’t want it to happen in real life.
Always carry lip-gloss, a compact mirror, a hairbrush and breath mints in your handbag. That way, even if you’re rushing up to the grocery store to get some milk, you’re always prepared to meet someone.
Ask a friend
In the brilliant book Around the World in 80 Dates, author Jennifer Cox asked her friends around the world to set her up on a blind date with one of their single friends.
While she didn’t fi nd the love of her life, she certainly met some very interesting characters. After all, you’ve got to be in it to win it.
Get a wingman
Never underestimate the power of a good wingman.
Just make sure he isn’t secretly in love with you and is trying to sabotage your game. Then again, if he is, and you’re into him too, then your manhunting problem is solved!
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#50. CHASE TIP:
While the aim is to get the man to chase you, you still don’t want to be hanging in the corner being as boring as bat shit. Don’t hide behind your glass of wine or your girlfriend’s hair extensions. Don’t be afraid to approach a guy. Even if you just say ‘hi’, the guy will do all the talking after that.
Remember, men will do 90 per cent of The Chase work (because that’s what he’s born to do) . . . if you let him!
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A Cautionary Tale: Lulu
‘I like bigger girls,’ John told Lulu, eyeing her hungrily as he cut into his steak and let the juices run out. NEXT.
‘I must warn you, I’m a bit of a sex addict,’ said Daniel the following night over Chinese. NEXT.
‘I have to let you know, I’m actually married. But we’re in the process of getting a divorce.’ Hank actually made the quotation gesture with his hands when he said ‘process’. As if that would soften the blow.
Lulu began to think that this internet dating thing might not be such a good idea after all. Why was it so bloody hard?
Where were all the decent men? Should she just give up and accept the single life?
No. She had to force herself to go on another date. And maybe even another. Hell, she might have to date everyone on the entire website if that was what it was going to take.
Besides, she was starting to get the hang of this dating thing—
smile politely, be charming, don’t talk about her ex, come across as though she had no baggage, ask loads of questions and act so nonchalantly the men could almost swear she actually had a boyfriend. Or just wasn’t into marriage. She was actually getting follow-up phone calls! And so far not one of the men had asked her outright for sex.
She clicked on the website and scrolled through the profi les.
She’d been super careful with hers: she’d password-protected her photo (which she’d had professionally shot by the way), put that she was after ‘friendship’ as opposed to casual sex and avoided
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any mention of marriage, kids or commitment. She was a new woman. And she was loving all the male attention.
As she scrolled through the message in her inbox—many of them picture requests—her phone beeped with a text. It was Chad.
‘I think I made the biggest mistake letting you go,’ he wrote. ‘Please have dinner with me. I won’t take no for an answer.’
She was about to reply, but then a sneaky smile crept
#51. KISSING FROGS:
When meandering through the Dating Jungle, you have to kiss (or at least have dinner with) a lot of frogs before you can ever find your prince. Don’t expect it to happen overnight.
But if you have your IDEAL MAN LIST firmly planted in the back of your mind, you know what you are looking for. And you’re not going to settle for anything less.
#52. INTERNET DATING:
Your profile is your weapon. Your advertising slogan. The way you project yourself to the world. Be sure to be super careful (and honest!) in everything you say, write and put out there. You can meet the man of your dreams online . . . as long as you play all your cards right.
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across her face. He’d felt the sixth sense. He’d realised that she had emotionally cut all ties with him and gracefully (okay, so not so gracefully) exited his life stage left. And now he wanted her back. She pressed the delete button on her phone. God, that felt good, she thought.
#53. LETTING GO OF CANDY MEN:
When you are finally ready to let go of the toxic man (or men) in your life, you will be surprised at what is lingering just around the corner. Your high-GI man isn’t the last guy on the planet . . . so don’t treat him as one!
‘It’s working! I’ve realised the key to it all!’ Lulu told Jane, Poppy and Abigail over brunch at a café a few days later.
‘The way I project myself when I meet a man—it just makes me into game meat.’
Finally, everything was making sense.
‘Men see me sitting in the bar with a neon sign on my forehead saying “I’m easy”. And even though my head tells me I’m not one of those women, nine times out of ten that’s the way it ends up. I’m getting totally fucked over by guys who are just out there to build up their “girls I’ve fucked” list.’
Lulu was saying what most women probably knew they were doing, but still couldn’t stop themselves falling into the trap. Of becoming the ‘bonk buddy’. Of having casual sex in the hope a relationship would develop from it. Of waiting for his texts. Of thinking he was going to come back to her. Of
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disbelieving he’d left her for his ex-girlfriend, despite the fact he’d said he was into her.
‘I go out and my eyes are peeled for any guy who catches my eye back, who gives me that look,’ Lulu said. ‘But you know what I’ve realised? Every guy will give me that look—
because every guy is looking for that quick score! So of course, when I go out looking for him, all I fi nd are these complete assholes!’
She lowered her voice. ‘I’m forgetting about these guys—I’m actually DOING IT! I’ve started focusing on my own life. I’m taking up hip-hop dancing classes and I love it.
I went skydiving. Skydiving! And now I’m on my way to getting my licence to jump on my own! I admit it was tough at fi rst. All I could think about was whether I was missing out on meeting Mr Right. But after a while, I found the best joy in expanding my skills and knowledge and experiencing all life has to offer. And after nine dates on luv-topia.com and actually LIVING MY LIFE, I realised this is what it’s all about.’
The girls applauded her.
‘Proud of you babe,’ Poppy said. ‘Now, let’s ditch this organic shit. Who’s up for cocktails?’ Poppy stabbed at her organic tofu slab for emphasis.
Lulu smiled. Single life wasn’t actually too bad.
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