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Dumpees, divorcees and older singletons who fi nd your-selves dating again, there’s good news up ahead. There are now more ways for you to meet, mingle and get rehitched than botoxed faces on Desperate Housewives.

‘Dating again’ is a topic that’s hotly debated in my column by a whole range of readers, from single mums to jaded ex-wives and long-time lovers who have been tossed out onto the street without warning. All agree on one thing: dating again after a long-term relation-ship is damn tough, especially when you’ve got a fl ock of kids, a load of baggage and more skeletons in your closet than Colin Farrell does.

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‘How in the world do I get back into the dating game when I don’t even know the rules any more?’

laments Kylie. ‘I’ve been married to the same man for a decade and suddenly I’m back on the singles scene.

What’s a gal to do?’

Fear not, Kylie, because get this: Tatler magazine reports that divorcees have never been so hot. ‘Gone are the days when divorced women were viewed as social pariahs . . . They have turned the tables on the stereotype of the pinched, lonely woman desperate to get remar-ried; they have proved that single life can be even more exciting second time around.’¹³ Hooray! And Tatler’s secret to post-divorce dating? ‘Get back into the saddle as quickly as possible.’ Think Elle Macpherson striding along in her leathers, Brad Pitt jet-setting around the globe with rainbow family in tow, and Jessica Simpson roller-skating in hot shorts and a bikini top on the set of her latest music video. Grrr.

When my author friend Bronwyn Marquardt found herself back in the singles boat after ten years of marriage, she refused to allow herself to wallow in it.

‘Instead, I put the emphasis on getting back out there and meeting people—women as well as men, people from different walks of life. I took invitations that I normally wouldn’t take, and went to parties/functions alone. I had some great adventures and did meet some people that way. Including men.’

Still, with the dating rules shifting faster than Shane Warne’s romp buddies, when you’ve been out of the

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loop for years (even decades), it’s kind of hard to keep up. Questions that often come up are: Who initiates contact? When does sex come into it? Is marriage still on the cards a second (or third) time around? And where do you meet all these ‘dating again’ singles anyway?

Well, that’s where the internet comes in. There’s been an explosion of new-fangled dating services designed with the ‘dating again’ patron in mind. For those of you who aren’t afraid to log on for love—and how many time-poor, workaholic, shy singles are there who won’t welcome the chance to let their fi ngers do the talking?—

try www.i-dont.com.au, a new dating site that’s getting

‘dating again’ singles into a each other’s inboxes.

And don’t be shy. Even newly single Hollywood starlet Uma Thurman has decided internet dating is the way to go.

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A Cautionary Tale: Jane

As Jane left work for the day—she now worked at a television studio in Los Angeles—she realised that all her girlfriends were now single. And then she thought about the Producer.

She hadn’t heard from him in months yet knowing that she’d been one of many women to fall for his tricks still made her feel queasy. But she wouldn’t allow herself to get back into that funk. Not again. Ever. Or so she thought.

A cold breeze blew against the back of her neck as she made her way down to Sprinkles Cupcakes, her favourite shop in the entire city. She bought herself a cinnamon sugar cupcake and took a slow bite, allowing the warm, velvety taste to slowly melt onto her tongue. She wanted to savour every last bit and the feeling she got from the cupcake was the same high she felt whenever she’d received a text from the Producer.

#60. YOU’RE A TEXT-ADDICT:

When you are continually and desperately waiting and hankering after that next text from a man, it’s not them you’re attracted to, it’s the addiction and the sugar rush you get from the tiny little envelope popping up in your phone. Don’t mistake it for love. It’s nothing but infatuation.

Since the Producer had stopped contacting her, Jane needed to get her sugar fi x from somewhere else. Cupcakes were the next best thing.

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‘Couldn’t wait till you were outside the shop, eh?’ A man’s deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

Jane turned and came face to face with a tall, broad-shouldered, youngish-looking man with tousled brown hair and sparkling green eyes. She instantly recognised him. Duncan, her high-school sweetheart. Her fi rst kiss (behind the gym—clichéd, she knew).

Her very fi rst boyfriend, who had given her a single red rose, and who she’d dumped at the bus stop after deciding she wanted to focus on her exams rather than on dating.

‘Oh my God, Duncan! You look amazing!’

‘Right back at ya, Janey.’

She felt a tingle in her spine.

‘How good are these cupcakes, huh?’ she asked.

Duncan pointed at his teeth and pulled a grimace.

‘Er . . . you’ve got some . . .’

‘Oh!’ Jane put her hand in front of her mouth and ran her tongue along her teeth. She could feel the bits of cupcake wedged between her front teeth. ‘How embarrassing!’

‘Rough day at work, huh?’

‘Oh, you have no idea.’ Jane smiled.

Duncan offered her a bit of his chocolate marshmallow cupcake. She couldn’t resist.

‘I love a girl who likes her chocolate,’ he said conspiratorially.

‘Diets are so last season.’

Jane giggled.

‘So, I hear you’re a hot-shot reporter now, Janey? Always knew you’d make it big time,’ he said, smiling.

‘It’s no big deal. Just like any job, I guess. Although I do get to meet cool people. What about you? What’s your story?’

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And hold on, what the hell are you doing in LA? And at my cupcake store? she thought.

‘Well, I’ve actually moved. I’m now living between New York and London, stopping off here for a few days. I’m actually stalking you. I knew you worked around here.

I read about you in the school graduate newsletter.’ Duncan winked.

God, he looked cute when he talked, Jane thought.

‘Let me guess . . . are you a pilot?’ Jane asked, dismissing his comment, although she couldn’t help but wonder if it might be true. She kind of hoped it was.

‘Ha. Nothing as exciting as that. Hedge Fund manager.

Pretty dry actually. But hey, it pays the bills.’

‘Wow!’ Jane replied, hoping she didn’t sound too interested. God, he was cute. And tanned. And sexy. ‘I always knew you’d do something awesome and businessy,’ she said, remembering his prowess in maths. He’d always helped her out with equations; maths was never her strong point.

He laughed. ‘Speaking of calories, I was just about to head off to lunch at The Ivy. You should join me.’

Ooh, The Ivy. Now she’d have to go! What could be the harm anyway? She hadn’t been out alone with a man since that awful experience with the Producer. Yes, she would go. Duncan was familiar, and defi nitely cuter than she’d remembered, even if it was in an accountant sort of way.

After a delectable lunch of crispy crab cakes, spinach linguine, too many wines for a Monday afternoon and scintillating conversation, Jane agreed to go on a second ‘date’

with Duncan. And then a third.

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Before she knew it, they were a couple. Without any drama! He was normal. And stable. He didn’t have a gaggle of women on speed dial, and he called her when he said he would. She had a boyfriend. A real live, kind, doting man who was everything she wanted. She was hopelessly and romanti-cally in love. For real this time. She almost forgot about the Producer. Almost . . .

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