At Renad’s school, they had a party and activities; one of the activities was dancing; so, Renad asked her foreign teacher to dance with her; and then she thought it was impolite to ask her this according to the teacher’s culture; the shock was (R.03):
She shouted at me and told me, “You are rude”, in front of lots of people. It was very embarrassing for me. I could not talk. Suddenly I started to cry, and then I went away. Renad then went to the teacher after an hour and said sorry to her; the teacher responded that it was all right, but Renad felt she did not accept her apology. Renad learned that she should not ask people to dance especially when those were from other cultures. Accordingly, I said to Renad: ‘And why did you say sorry?’ (R.06):
I apologised to her because she is my teacher. So, I thought it is polite to apologise even though I felt I shouldn’t because she is the one who misunderstood me and shouted at me in front of so many people.
I then wondered what would have been Renad’s response had this not been her teacher. Renad responded that, regardless, she would apologise if she did something wrong. I asked Renad if she had felt sorry; she said (R.08):
I wasn’t feeling okay; I was embarrassed because of the shouting and the bad, strong words she used. It suggested that she was disappointed in me.
Renad realised that she and the teacher, who was foreign, did not understand each other’s culture. She had assumed that her teacher would have had a background of the Saudi culture as she had been teaching in Saudi for a time; this was not the first foreign she had had as a teacher in her school. Renad concluded her story by revealing that she had not previously recounted this incident to anyone as it had been embarrassing for her and she had felt ashamed.
In this episode, Renad had engaged in forced other-positioning as her teacher had exerted power over her incorrectly assuming that she had been rude by asking her to dance.
Types of Harré positioning that emerged
Deliberative self-positioning: deliberative intent
Initially, Renad had recounted a slightly different story about the orientation day incident where students and staff had engaged in party-activities. One of the activities was dancing, so, she had asked her foreign teacher to dance with her, ‘I went to her and asked her “Will you dance with us?” I thought it was normal ’ (R.02). Renad had engaged in deliberative self-positioning by asking her teacher to dance and subsequently, she had realised it had been an impolite proposition – it was counter the foreign teacher’s culture.
Forced other-positioning: Power
While Renad had acted in what she believed to be in the spirit of the occasion, she had unwittingly engaged in forced other-positioning in asking her teacher to dance and to have fun; it had been a quite innocent act on Renad’s part. The teacher, at first caught unawares, realised that she had to counter this by exerting the power of her position of being a teacher. She had assumed, incorrectly; that Renad had been rude and disrespectful.
Emergent New Socio-cultural positioning Repair Positioning
The simple act of asking her teacher to dance at a social event had a flow-on effect as I have outlined above. A second socio-cultural positioning event emerged later in this episode when Renad approached the teacher whom she asked to dance in order say sorry. While the teacher accepted this apology, Renad had doubts about the teacher’s sincerity (R.04):
I went back to her and apologised. I told her that, “I did not know that was rude”. She tried to pretend that she was okay but I felt that she did not accept my apologies.
Renad had engaged in repair positioning as she had felt ethically bound to apologise to the teacher to repair her unintended mistake. It was likely that the teacher had been unaware, at the time, of the profound impact that the event had had on Renad.
Reflective and ethical positioning
On later reflection, Renad realised that her actions had been misunderstood; she said (R.05):
I learned that I should not ask people to dance especially from other cultures because it might be impolite.
She realised that she had made a socio-cultural error in approaching the teacher without ascertaining a related ethical question: what should she have done? Renad realised, too, that her reflective and ethical positioning had saved her from further public embarrassment; she would be careful to avoid similar situations in the future.
As a result of this episode, Renad realised that she needed to reconcile the situation – both for herself and for the teacher. She continued to be polite and to show respect for her teacher: ‘I apologised to her because she was my teacher. So, I thought it was polite to apologise even though I felt I shouldn’t [have to]’, (R.06). Renad had engaged in both reflective and ethical positioning; in doing so, both Renad’s respect for her teacher and her code of ethics had led her to apologise.
Moral self-positioning
Renad indicated that there had been no involvement on the part of her teacher: only she was responsible. She affirmed that if she realised that any behavior on her part was inappropriate, in any way, that she would apologise regardless of whom it involved: ‘If I told her something that was inappropriate I would apologise as well’, (R.07). Renad’s moral code would lead her to apologise if she did something she believed to be wrong – regardless of whether or not it had involved her teacher. Renad was able to emerge unscathed from this painful personal experience; she had engaged in self-positioning; she had acted honourably, according to her strong personal moral code.