Causas

This theme is diverse as it manifests in many areas; therefore, opening up occurs in many different modalities, making it complex. It des i es pa ti ipa ts a ou ts of how mindfulness enables them to open their eyes to things as they are. It also describes pa ti ipa ts a ou ts of e o i g o s iousl a a e of thei thoughts, feeli gs, physical sensations and their environment and this seems to enable them to open up to new experiences. Some of the participants described how a consequence of the process of opening up (e.g. to new possibilities) enabled the experiencing of a deepening sense of gratitude and appreciation for things that they do not ordinarily perceive, or perhaps appreciate. These experiences are described below.

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Beth p o ides a a ou t of i dful ess as aki g up , the opposite of this is being asleep. Therefore, suggests that mindfulness she enables her to gain consciousness and open herself up to new possibilities and experiences.

Well I thi k, I thi k ei g i dful also ea s, e , a a of aki g up to hate e it is . (Beth, 334-335).

Similar to Beth, Amy also provides an account of i dful ess as aki g up . Fo Amy, mindfulness, is like seeing with clearer eyes and becoming consciously aware.

T i g to see ith lea e e es. E . Pause . That s p o a l a out the ost o ise I can be actually. Yes, if it was even just two words, it ould just e; aki g up . Amy, 32-35).

“eei g ith lea e e es a d aki g up , suggests that the e is a ope i g up i pe eptio and awareness and this contains a spiritual flavour. These quotes also suggests that perhaps Amy and Beth feel in their normal lives that the a e o auto pilot , or are asleep in some way. Thus mindfulness may allow them to take a moment ( pause momentarily); and become more aware/awake of themselves.

Correspondingly, Chloe echoes this idea of waking up and opening herself up: A d it s ki d of ope i g ou e es eall to thi gs . Chloe, 35).

This communicates that Chloe is becoming consciously aware and possibly opening herself up to new impressions. As the interview progressed, she seems to confirm this by describing how mindfulness enables her to open up to new experiences, in the sense of being more present in her lived experience:

I was driving past a roundabout that I drive past every single day, my whole life and I did t oti e the e ere blossom trees on it and I just, I just found it so powerful and it did t eall tea h e a thi g, it did t ou k o , it as just po e ful… Well, I guess it did teach me something obviously (laughter) but I think it was just, it was powerful because I guess I had t ei g oti i g it as u h as I ould e so I guess I ould had o luded that, that I just ki d of uisi g th ough life so eti es o auto pilot a d ot e a i g so e of the eaut that is a ou d e a d I ….it as a

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beautiful tree and I felt quite sad actually in the moment thinking this tree is really eautiful a d I had t see it efo e . Chloe, 659-674).

Mindfulness appears to enable Chloe to stop her automatic mode of responding and open herself up to notice the beauty in her environment. It see s that ope i g he e es , Chloe is a le to stop uisi g th ough life o auto-pilot a d e o e o s iousl a a e of he su ou di gs. This ope i g up e a les he to e a e so e of the eaut i he environment. Chloe also implies a sense of sadness and possible disappointment in her inability to notice the beauty in her environment prior to mindfulness. However, it appears that presently, mindfulness enables her to disengage from autopilot mode and bring to the fore background experiences, such as seeing the beauty in her environment. Currently, she appears to be engaged in a much broader view of interconnectedness with her environment. Such an experience is often associated ith spi itualit a d the efo e, suggests that Chloe s mindfulness experience contains an element of spirituality.

Similar to Chloe, Holly also describes an account of mindfulness in which she is becoming more consciously aware. This conscious awareness enables her to physically open up and sit with anxious feelings. While Chloe describes a sense of sadness with her inability to notice the beauty in her environment prior to mindfulness, Holly in contrast, describes a sense of achievement and acknowledges the vast improvement in her present moment awareness of her feelings since engaging in mindfulness.

I thi k it helped, it s helped e, u pause e o e o e a a e of ho I feeli g (pause) I think that is something that, years ago before I had any counselling or a thi g, I used to fi d e diffi ult, I do t think I was consciously aware of how I as feeli g, so, ou k o , it s a ast i p o e e t, ou k o , sitti g he e a d ei g a a e of the fa t that I a ious, is a, is a ig diffe e e to hat I used to e e ause I used to think (pause) I think I used to just push it down and pretend that I was fine all ti e, he eas o I , ou k o , the a that I feeli g a ious ut that s alright . Holly, 1070-1078).

Holly suggests that mindfulness enables her to open up, and accept unpleasant feelings as they arise in the moment. In doing so, she seems to experience these feelings as less threatening, suggested by her state e t, I feeli g a ious ut that s al ight . In addition,

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the o ds ast i p o e e t , shows a desirability of the changes she hopes for in her mindfulness journey. It i plies a steppi g up , a d/o aspi i g to ea h a highe le el , a d this has a spiritual flavour to her experience.

The majority of participants described an account of mindfulness as one that enables them to become conscious of their thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. This physical sensation is described below by Ewan and Felicity.

Yeah A d it s e odied as ell, hi h I, ou k o , ou eall , eall , I suppose he ou e fa ilitati g that ou eall oti e, you know that kind of, those embodied

ualities . (Ewan, 526-529).

Ewan describes noticing an embodied quality when he is facilitating a mindfulness exercise. This embodied quality suggests a physical opening up of the senses to new experiences. This embodied ualit is also o e ed i Feli it s a ou t of i dful ess.

I always say to my clients, not you know, how are you? But not in your head, how are ou i ou od ? So, how are you? How do you experience yourself? How do you observe yourself? So, it s taki g it out of o e of the auto ati thought of I ok, ut i to a feeli g a d a se se, so it s, it s o e a felt se se, if that akes se se ? (Felicity, 79-86)

Feli it des i es that she asks he lie ts, ho a e ou i ou od ? This i plies that mindfulness may have a physical quality. Additionally, aski g he lie ts, ho do ou e pe ie e ou self , leads e to elie e that i dful ess a e a le he a d he lie ts to open up to new experiences of themselves.

Some of the participants also spoke about how a by-product of the process of opening up (e.g. to new possibilities and experiences) enabled the feeling of a growing sense of gratitude and appreciation for things that they do not normally notice. For example, Gabby describes how mindfulness enables her to notice the many things she has:

I ea e ha e, ost of us ha e so u h a d e just do t e e oti e it a d he e do pause ell I ofte filled ith a st o g se se of ell- ei g a d it s lo el . (Gabby, 831-834).

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Here although Ga does ot e pli itl state hat it is that she has so u h of, it ould e implied that she is referring to material possessions or unnoticed personal qualities. She states how being able to take note of what she has leads to being filled with a strong sense of ell- ei g . It is i po ta t to pa atte tio to Ga s la guage. She shifts from speaking in the thi d pe so / e e ha e so u h to usi g the fi st pe so , I a filled ith . Perhaps she realises how much she has and is suddenly grateful. It is possible that she is comfortable acknowledging her blessings, her change in language could therefore, be an attempt to bring herself closer to the feeling of appreciation and gratitude for the things in her life.

Holly also reports how this consequence of the process of opening up engenders a deeper appreciation of life in general.

I thi k it i dful ess helps um (pause) I think it helps you appreciate life a lot o e . Holl , -539). Holly goes on to say:

You k o , app e iati g pause ou k o , it does t atte , ou a app e iate anything in life, like just in this moment, it could be anything. Yeah, maybe being more g ateful as ell, o ulti atel ha i g g atitude e ause ofte e e a ious o dep essed, e e ot g ateful fo hat e a e e pe ie i g ight o . Holl , - 565).

He e it see s that Holl is app e iati e of he p ese t o e t e pe ie e, i di ated , ou a app e iate a thi g i life, like just i this o e t . It ould e that her mindfulness experience enables her to open up and become aware of her feelings in the moment (Holly, 1070-1078) be it anxious or otherwise and she could be grateful for this.