Efectos

Participants described their experience of mindfulness as letti g go of e pe tatio s a d of thoughts. As such, they were able to have a pu e e pe ie e, that is, a e pe ie ce which contains no additions. Letting go of expectations and of thoughts seems to free participants from distress, and for some this provided a sense of relief.

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That there is no bad or good, there is just what you experience. The very essence, the e pu e ess of hat ou e pe ie e, a d it is t getti g it ight or getting it wrong . (Amy, 254-256).

Her statement communicates that she may experience mindfulness as a non-striving practice which may allow her to let go of expectations. Amy made this statement with a soft and gentle tone, her facial expression was f ee f o te sio . This alo gside he use of the te , it is t getting it right or getting it o g , leads me to believe that she experiences mindfulness as letti g go of trying to have a desired effect, and in doing she may experience a possible sense of peace, which is often associated with spiritual practices.

Comparably, Chloe des i es he e pe ie e of i dful ess as ot t i g to do a thi g . To a degree, the language she uses implies an element of letting go, possibly of expectations.

What s i e a out fo e a out i dful ess a d the a I see it… Is that e a e ot trying to do anything other than we just notice and that kind of almost takes some of the erm pressure off . Chloe, 258-263).

This suggests that mindfulness may be a non-goal orientated experience and that for Chloe; it is simply about experiencing things as they occur in the present moment. It could be that in not trying to do anything , Chloe is able to let go of expectations, and this enables the release of some of the pressure on her which may give her a sense of relief, as indicated by almost takes some of the p essu e off .

Holly also describes her experience of mindfulness as letting go of thoughts and this is uplifting for the spirit and soul.

I thi k it s the fact that the realisation of (pause) er, and also letting go or of, of maybe thi gs that the e ee thi ki g. It lifts them, their spirit and their soul. I think (pause) but often you come back with a sense of calmness in, in bring, turning to how things are right now rathe tha thi gs i the futu e Holly, 349-353).

Here Holly describes her experience of mindfulness as letting go of thoughts. She pauses and talks in ge e alised te s usi g the athe tha I . This can be interpreted as her way of making sense of her experience for the first time, pausing and using generalised terms may have given her time to reflect upon the meaning of her own experiences.

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Gabby describes mindfulness as letting go of worrying/ruminating.

So erm, I suppose a lot of the ti e he e do thi gs like o o u i ate… What we tend to do is get into a fight with our thoughts and feelings. Maybe try and problem sol e ou a out of it. O e e ki d of, e e fighti g agai st the . W estli g ith them, yeah and to me mindfulness is kind of letti g go of that estle . Gabby, 46- 58).

Here, Gabby implies that she is in conflict or perhaps even at war with her thoughts, indicated , fight ith ou thoughts a d fighti g agai st the (thoughts). This suggests that she possibly perceives her thoughts as the enemy whom she has to overthrow. However, mindfulness enables her to walk away from the fight o as she states, let go of that estle . In this way Gabby seems to see i dful ess as a pea e ake that enables her to stop struggling and let go of the fight with her thoughts.

For Diana, letting go of her negative automatic thoughts seems to give her a sense of relief. Like, sa o e of egati e auto ati thoughts ight e so ethi g like e , god I did t do that e ell, o that as eall , eall u helpful, o god I so u ish at that o hate e , a d the I thi k oh, ou k o , he e e go agai . The I e thought hat else a I do, ou k o . You ust go a d do so ethi g else… “o, ou so t of have got a choi e e e if ou, eah I thi k it so t of just gi es ou a elief f o that . (Diana, 598-607).

It appears as though Diana has many self-expectations and is also self-critical; perhaps mindfulness gives her permission to let go of her thoughts and be kinder to herself, which see s to gi e he se se of relief .

Many of the participants described their experience of mindfulness as letting go/ detaching from their thoughts. Beth describes this experience:

But, erm, but no I do think that it can be a great way of erm, of erm, erm, of letting go and of stopping the identification with your thoughts or feelings, or whatever it is, yeah the distress . Beth, 392-394).

Beth suggests that the process of dis-identification with her thoughts allows her to disengage with the distress that may be experienced. From this quote, it seems as though she is almost

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describing a process similar to praying – that mindfulness helps her to be able to stop feeling a sense of distress. As the interview progressed, Beth described detaching herself from her thoughts.

It s so u h i e to e a le to deta h o eself a d to, tha to ha e to sta t a gui g with the thoughts, if that akes se se . Beth, -471).

The te i e to e a le to deta h o eself , implies that Beth may experience a sense of relief from the process of detachment from her thoughts. This can be seen to be similar to the process of praying, in that mindfulness enables her to free herself from her thoughts which at times is experiences as distressing (Beth, 392-394). It also suggests that Beth sees her thoughts as separate from the rest of herself and thus she is able to detach from them. These experiences seemingly imply that the aim of letting go of expectations and detaching from thoughts is to liberate oneself, in this sense, the pa ti ipa t s experience of mindfulness appears to contain a spiritual flavour.

Similar to Beth, Chloe also describes her experience of detaching from her thoughts.

A d a tuall it helps to deta h ou self f o it e ause ou e sa i g this is a e tit that I ha e oti ed that I a i dful of it I k o it s the e ut it does t e essa il have to have control over me again in a way that it does . Chloe, 572-575).

Here, Chloe uses language that constructs her thoughts as a e tit , a de-humanised form and therefore, separate from her sense of self. It appears however, that mindfulness enables her to detach from her thoughts and regain control. This implies that the purpose of detachment is to free oneself from pain or distress and this adds a spiritual flavour to Chloe s mindfulness experience. It could also be that letting go of her thoughts gives her a sense of peace as seen later in her interview when she says:

Whe e e I talk a out i dful ess, I get a se se of pea e. The e s so ethi g so peaceful about it. (Chloe, 759-760).

This theme, letti g go of expectations and of thoughts , po t a s pa ti ipa ts e pe ie e of mindfulness as a non-striving, non-goal orientated practice. Letting go of expectations seems to enable the participants to stop striving for a particular/desired experience. It seems the process of letting go of their thoughts helps participants to be able to stop feeling a sense of

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distress. B seei g thoughts as a sepa ate e tit f o the self, some like Chloe, are able to remove the negative appraisals of the body and experience the body as it is in the moment. Letting go of thoughts and expectations appears to uplift the spirit and soul, and this adds a spiritual flavour to pa ti ipa t s e pe ie e of i dfulness.

This aste the e has ee a le to illust ate the ole that spi itualit pla s i pa ti ipa ts accounts of mindfulness. Participants varied in the ways in which they described and experienced mindfulness, nonetheless, there seemed to be a shared feeling that mindfulness contained an element of spirituality. Spirituality in this sense came across as a broad concept with room for many perspectives. In general, it included a sense of becoming consciously aware or aki g up and opening oneself to seeing the beauty in the environment for example. It further included, opening up to new possibilities and experiences. Spirituality was also portrayed as a search or journey for meaning in life, which involved self-transformation, letting go of thoughts and expectations, liberating oneself and deepening a sense of gratitude.

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