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turn-on."

What you teach in Stage 2 is what you’re building here is care.

Neo: Yes. From field tests from the pick-up community, it’s been found that the

attraction phase is about 15 minutes. The comfort-building/connection phase is about 7-10 hours.

Grant: Spread out over however many days.

Neo: Spread out over however many phone calls, dates, whatever, but that’s

about the average. Even the best pick-up guys, Mystery Style, Thunder Cat, have that time frame.

So what do you do during the 7-10 hours? You’re kicking it, you’re kicking it. So basically we’re practicing the fine art of kicking it.

Like I said, women read into everything. So the level and comfort through which we can just be with her, she will read into as how comfortable and how much you can be with her while you’re making love with her.

If you’re overly aggressive, especially during the connection stage, she’ll think that you’ll be aggressive in the bedroom and that you’ll be done in three minutes. She’ll probably be right.

It’s the same energy that you carry forth towards anything. So during the connection stage you really want to kick back on any too-aggressive sexual energy, where the energy is almost like you’re groping.

If anything, you want to be showing her how much you enjoy just hanging out with her and how much you care and adore her.

Grant: So there’s two ways of doing this, and I just want to break this down for a

second. One is to convey – I think, and tell me what you think – one is to convey passion for life, for the things in your life. And the other is to show that you are really interested in what’s core about her.

So I want to break that down. I think building comfort and deepening connection can be spoken about in these two ways.

I find in my research on online dating certainly that being able to convey fun and passion and excitement about your life is a huge turn-on.

So when you say kicking it, it’s not that you just totally step back and let her lead, but you stop trying to arouse her in any sexual way and let her feel that you’re passionate about other things in your life, such that she can feel that sexual parallel.

You said something about a full spiritual discourse on why you like Mickey Mouse. [laughing] It could be anything, whatever you’re passionate about. It shows that you’re a passionate guy.

Even in discussions I could be talking about internet marketing and my passion for how much I love the internet and how you can reach people all over the world, and we have people on this call from all around the world, and how amazing that is that you can build this community today.

You know, when I was growing up this wasn’t even something imagined. I was describing how much I love what I do to a woman and she started kissing me. I was like, “Wow, I was talking about the internet,” but seriously, the passion that I felt I think just carried over. She said, “Wow, this is a passionate guy.”

So it’s important to identify ahead of time what you’re passionate about.

Neo: Yeah. One of the things that you just touched upon is how to get yourself

so that you convey that you have depth to her. One of the ways – you know, I’m really big into writing things down and having actual practices.

So write down what you’re interested in, what your hobbies are, and what inspires you. From this place, ask yourself the question why they interest you and inspire you.

You just keep on getting more core, and usually the core things usually end up at safety, peace, ecstasy, love, self-actualization, or joy. Very core energies.

Grant: And all those things are turn-ons for women.

Neo: Right. And if you make the bridge from something like the internet – it

could be football, right? It could be fixing classic cars. If you take the reason and go core as to why you love it, women will dig it.

So in the comfort-building stage, you are first just talking about the seemingly mundane. It could be your favorite music, favorite show, and then as you move into deeper and deeper connection, you want to get into your core of why interests you and the core of what interests her.

Grant: Ok, let’s move to that and keep this moving with some pace. It’s not so

much her core interests, and this is a really important point, it’s the core of who she is.

In the internet book on Net2Bed I talk about singing to her idealized self and seeing her in ways that other men don’t take the time to see her.

Some of the questions you throw out there in terms of deepening connection, which can just leapfrog you into so much more intimacy without it being ‘sexual,’

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