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The negative spiral: Going from 0 to -10
0
would be an ordinary, forgettable day: Grey cloudy weather, no body pain, my appearance is as usual, leftovers in the fridge for lunch. I’d answer e-mails all day long, procrastinating urgent work in a new creative way.I’d eat dinner with very little conversation with my fam-ily, watch a movie I'd seen three times before and go to bed after kissing my tired husband on the chin.
-2
would be a forgettable day too, only a bit worse:Maybe a toothache from a cavity, muscle pain in the neck from bad posture, no good leftovers in the fridge, just some mashed, tired salad. Incoming e-mails about bills I would need to take care of, my husband tired after work, no conversation at dinner, nothing on TV, he’d fall asleep on the sofa, and finally I’d walk the dog in the rain at midnight!
-4
would be a memorable day, or time in my life, where I would feel really bad. Maybe we would wake up and continue a late night discussion about "fairness" (we both know there is no such thing!) on topics like “domestic work,” money issues or family issues. I might oversleep, not hear the alarm clock and then be late for an import-ant meeting! This would be a day of stress and worry, the kind you would want to tell a good friend or your Life Coach about, if they asked, "How are you feeling today?"-6
would be a very memorable day, or time in my life, where I would feel SO bad that I had to tell someone. I would tell my best friend, my Life Coach! Maybe I’d find out my husband was having an affair, or my largest client who owed me six months of fees would declare bank-ruptcy! Or my son could tell me he wanted to drop out of college to become a professional computer gamer. My MAC could break down, with 80% of my new book in it, no backup, and I’d be unable to restore any of eight months’ work.-8
would be a truly terrible day or time of my life, where I would react from the fight-or-flight response. I would need help from my family and best friends just to keep me breathing and living from moment to moment. This happened recently when my dear son was diagnosed with a brain tumor and it turned out to be cancer. My closest family and dearest friends were my closest allies during those hard times, on days of panic and deep sorrow.-10
I would learn I was dying, or I would have to let go of loved ones before I was ready. This is the worst thing you can imagine in life: the painful death of losing life or love; it could only be worse if you have no faith at all in God or an afterlife.This tool is inspired by Martha Beck's "Body Compass" tool
Now I'll share the positive:
You need to move back to the 0 setting in your mind, so shake your body as you let go of the past and all fears. Breathe deeply. When you're calm again, move on to the wonderful part: the "Happy Positive Climb" is ahead!
+2
would be a forgettable but nice day. The sun would come out, my husband and I would wake up to find we are wrapped around each other in a sweet place of com-fort and love. I'd have a "good hair day" and put on a nice dress. I would shop and buy new shoes. I’d walk in nature with my happy chocolate retriever, and would notice the roses in the garden and the butterflies. I’d get something done at work and we would have my dear 86-year-old mother over for dinner, play cards or watch a funny movie in the evening.+4
would be a memorable day or time in my life: I would wake up feeling in love and happy, maybe with my husband in some great B&B in Key West or the South of France. I'd get some sun, write all day, we'd make beautiful love in the afternoon, and enjoy great food and wine in the evening. Then we’d lie in bed watching a movie like"I AM" and feel the "Oneness" of human love. I’d read e-mails of gratitude from readers. And I would be grateful that God works miracles in my life as a result of my work with people.
+6
would be a particularly memorable day or time in my life I'd have to share with my loved ones, best friends, my Life Coach and certainly on Facebook! I would havelost the 10 pounds of "baby fat" at an Indian retreat and feel 10 years younger (tried it!). I would have found the right doctor for my son's treatment. I'd be able to give to a charity organization because I had sold many books (working on it). I would be spiritually blessed and speak-ing publicly to people who “break free” before my very eyes! I would be overwhelmed by love for my loved ones as they surprise me with love gifts on a day other than my birthday!
+8
Was actually the day when my first book was pub-lished in Denmark. And on the same day my husband Frank proposed to me. Another +8 day, of course, was our wedding day, when my then 17-year-old son Nikolai gave me away. Another was the time, many years ago, when I felt God enter my heart, heal my pain and set me free to love again. He took me up on his shoulders so I could see my life from a higher perspective! A powerful +8 day was the day my son survived his brain surgery. The brilliant surgeon removed the entire tumor giving superb odds for his complete recovery. It is a true miracle.+10
Was the day I "died to self" and gave birth to my son. From that day forward, I became second. It will be the day I die in peace with Jesus coming to take me home, with angels promising to take care of my loved ones for me. It will be the day I die painlessly and peacefully of old age, in my sleep. And it could also be a day where I "die to self" from deep creative meditation or in deep gratitude for my life. Being and breathing LOVE is +10.So, now it’s your turn.
It's OK to start out with a great deal or with very little; it will grow or simplify. Look at my pathfinder Vision Board. it is an organic breathing board; the images that cause you to feel +2 to +10 will change over time, as your dreams come true!
126 stop to think and only felt love and peace? Have you ex-perienced a time better than great lovemaking, better than winning the lottery, better than being young and handsome? The truth is: dying to self is love. Cutting the umbilical cord at the birth of your children or holding your newborn baby. Speaking one kind or funny word to make others smile is love, too.
When we actively pursuit joy in our lives and trust the feelings and sensations in our bodies, they will always tell us the truth. We can trust them. They will always show us what actions will lead us nearer to (or further from) Love, Peace and Harmony. For this is what all human be-ings seek, after all, in our homes and in our lives.
Here is the trick that helps you stay on a joyful path full of hot tracks, a concrete way to manage the negative markers that happen to us all:
-2 feelings can be balanced out by doing +2 things such as buying new shoes or enjoying a lovely walk with your dog.
-4 feelings can be balanced out by +4, such as visit-ing people you love.
-6 feelings can be improved by +6, such as planning a wonderful holiday or reveling in a day at a spa.
-8 feelings can be balanced out by +8, such as med-itating on the good things in life. I suggested you visualize being with the love of your life, traveling with him/her to lovely places, being with your family around a Christmas tree. Feeling free to love yourself and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Visualizing every step of the creation of a new lovely home, feeling the comfort of it, and entertain-ing and socializentertain-ing in it.
-10 feelings can be eased by praying for God to enter your heart and heal your body and soul. You can let love for others become your focus and priority in both work and private life. This would utterly balance out the fear of inevitable death, loss, or grief. Seeing death as a passing of the soul to a new adventure will eventually make death seem less terminal.
Crafting a Pathfinder Vision Board on a wall!
You don't have to display images of the “dark side"
on the vision board; we all know what's there. We just need to set our GPS for the future life we want and we just chart that course. The destination is how we visualize our life, how we think it will look, and this includes our home!
Opposite is the picture of my own vision board.
Looking at the images and quotes on the mornings I take the essential time to do my yoga always brings my feeling states from +2 to +8.
Your homework is to find photos and images: of role models doing the work you want to do, pictures of what makes you happy, articles with images of travel, or pictures of couples in love (if you're alone and want to at-tract that Heavenly Match!). If in a relationship, perhaps choose a picture of the two of you when you were newly in love, to attract that state of mind once again. As well as your own photographs, you can find wonderful images on I-stock and dating ads.
In your bedroom or home office, or on the inside of closet doors, start by pinning a piece of string to mark the “Pathfinder Life Line” and place the numbers 0 to +10 with sticky tags.
Next put up the images you have found, and in-stantly you'll feel the feelings of hope and joy this wall promises you. Going from “rock bottom” in your mind to Love, Peace and Harmony is the hardest part. The rest is just taking action steps according to your desires… And the future life you were meant to live will FIND YOU!