Dispositivo de blanqueamiento y los cuadros de castas

2. TÉCNICAS DISCIPLINARIAS Y PROCEDIMIENTOS REGULADORES DE LA POBLACIÓN EN LA NUEVA

2.1 Dispositivo de blanqueamiento y los cuadros de castas

On the first Saturday of his college experience, Charles joins a group of guys, most of whom he doesn’t know, in the dorm lounge to watch a football game. Though he pleaded that he didn’t have time, his roommate had pressured him into coming, say-ing that the others would think he was stuck up if he didn’t come. As Charles enters the lounge, he looks for a place to sit, telling himself to find a seat where he can go unnoticed. Spotting a chair by the far wall near his roommate, Charles slowly makes his way around the group and gingerly sits down. During the game, the guys cheer, joke around, throw popcorn, and drink cokes. Extremely uncomfortable with the rowdy behavior, Charles tells himself that he is pathetic and just doesn’t fit in. He also reminds himself to be careful not to do anything to draw attention to himself.

Sitting rigidly in his chair, he looks neither left nor right but stares at the television as though to give the impression that he is intently involved. But Charles sees little of the game, his mind busy chastising himself for coming and telling himself that this has been a mistake he won’t repeat. The longer the game goes on, the worse he feels, until he is absolutely devastated. Knowing how it feels to be teased unmercifully, Charles winces when he hears his friends do it to each other. He feels a sense of terror at the thought that they might focus on him for being so quiet. He wills the game to be over.

When the game does finally end, Charles quickly makes his way around the group and returns to his floor in the dorm. Not wanting to see his roommate, however, he goes into the restroom, enters a stall, and sits holding his head in his hands. Trying to calm down, he remains there for 10 minutes asking himself how he will ever make it through college. Finally, emotionally exhausted, he decides to go back to his room and take a nap. Barely able to hold his head up, he walks down the hallway, praying he won’t meet anyone who was in the lounge earlier. Two hours later Charles’s room-mate returns to find Charles waking up from a long nap. Concerned, he asks Charles if he is okay, embarrassing Charles even further. Charles tries to smile and weakly says, “Sure. I was just really tired today.” His roommate, knowing something went wrong, says to Charles, “Don’t let those guys bother you. They can get a little rowdy and obnoxious at times; they just think it’s all part of having a good time.”

2C-1. In the scenario above, underline the ideas or events that might create anxiety or fear in a person with low self-esteem or that depict behavior associated with LSE and not with healthy self-esteem. For example, watching the game with a group of guys

“most of whom he doesn’t know” would create anxiety for many people; those with moderate to severe LSE feel unsure of themselves when surrounded by strangers.

“Though he pleaded that he didn’t have time” indicates that Charles wanted to get out of the gathering. Closely examining each sentence, underline any other words or phrases that you think represent issues that could create anxiety in Charles or might be the result of anxiety from his self-talk. Again, don’t worry about your deci-sions. No one is looking over your shoulder or evaluating what you do. This is just practice in increasing your awareness of how LSE affects us.

Once you have underlined the words and phrases in the scenario above, answer the following:

z How many phrases did you underline? ___________

z Of those you underlined, how many do you think would impact individuals with healthy self-esteem? ___________

z Circle the events or ideas that you think would impact those with healthy self-esteem.

2C-2. Now, look at the specific things Charles said to himself during and after the game and imagine what else he likely said to himself throughout the afternoon.

Knowing that he resisted going to the football party, what do you think he thought when he finally agreed to go? For example, do you think he was criticiz-ing himself for agreecriticiz-ing to do so? Do you think he was conjurcriticiz-ing up the negative things that might happen? Put yourself in Charles’s shoes and write down any additional statements he might have made to himself. Remember Charles has low self-esteem and is obviously unsure of himself in social situations. Write down both positive and negative statements that you think he might have said to him-self. For instance, do you think he said that it felt good to know that his roommate was including him?

List any additional positive and negative statements that you think Charles might have said to himself during the day. Remember, we talk to ourselves con-stantly all day, so he probably said much more than is written above.

z When he pleads with his roommate that he doesn’t have time to watch the game:

____________________________________________________________________________

z As he looks for a seat and then sees his roommate:

____________________________________________________________________________

z As he makes his way to sit down:

____________________________________________________________________________

z During the rowdy behavior:

____________________________________________________________________________

z As he witnesses the guys teasing each other:

____________________________________________________________________________

z As he tries to avoid drawing attention to himself:

____________________________________________________________________________

z When the game is finally over:

____________________________________________________________________________

z When he sits in the stall in the bathroom:

____________________________________________________________________________

z When his roommate makes comments showing that he recognizes how uncomfortable Charles has been that afternoon:

____________________________________________________________________________

2C-3. Look again at the self-statements that you listed above

z How many did you list? ____________

z How many of them were negative? ____________

z How many were positive? ____________

LSE sufferers often feel overly vulnerable and at risk in situations where those with healthy self-esteem see no particular threat. This is the norm for people with LSE. All people with low self-esteem feel this way in certain situations. Consequently, they become their own worst enemies, feeding themselves distorted, irrational, negative thoughts about how poorly they are performing or how negatively others are perceiv-ing them. (People with healthy self-esteem give themselves positive feedback, instead, which lowers their anxiety and frees them to be themselves and to appear more

spon-esteem and the negative self-talk that naturally accompanies it, but they are also dis-abled, powerless to alter the negative feedback, unable to remove it from their thoughts, and unable to see it as anything but the truth.

2C-4. Using the Feelings List (pages 16-17), select three words that best describe what you think that Charles was feeling as he made the imagined self-statements in exer-cise 2B-2 above. You may choose to use words or phrases that are not on the list.

z When he pleads with his roommate that he doesn’t have time to watch the game:

____________________________________________________________________________

z As he looks for a seat and spots his roommate:

____________________________________________________________________________

z As he makes his way to sit down:

____________________________________________________________________________

z During the rowdy behavior:

____________________________________________________________________________

z As he witnesses the guys teasing each other:

____________________________________________________________________________

z As he tries to avoid drawing attention to himself:

____________________________________________________________________________

z When the game is over:

____________________________________________________________________________

z While he sits in the stall in the bathroom:

____________________________________________________________________________

z When his roommate’s shows that he recognized how uncomfortable Charles was:

____________________________________________________________________________

Do you see how Charles’s low self-esteem, his basic insecurities, and his self-doubt create his negative thoughts? Do you see how Charles’s negative thoughts lead to his negative feelings and how the vicious cycle continues to create even more anxiety, nearly paralyzing him?

2C-5. Now, imagine a different Charles in the scenario above. Picture a young man who has healthy self-esteem, who likes himself, who is gregarious and outgoing, who enjoys meeting new people, who is confident that he can interact and fit in with most anyone he meets. Picture a college student who can join in with others when they are having fun and who can give and take casual teasing without being threatened or feeling attacked.

With this in mind, rewrite the scenario, omitting or altering the words or phrases that you think would be different while leaving the basic story intact. Take your time. Examine each word, phrase, and sentence, imagining what Charles would be thinking, what he would be doing and saying if he had healthy self-esteem. Begin now to rewrite the scenario.

____________________________________________________________________________

Charles’s self-talk creates self-doubt thereby fueling his negative feelings and effecting his attitudes and his behavior. Charles would be a much different person if he could alter his self-talk; he would be less tense in new situations, more at ease with strangers, more confident about fitting in, and less fearful in general.

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Please go forward to Obstacle 3, “Establishing the Source of Your LSE” (page 122 in this book) and work through page 132. Instructions on page 132 will tell you

In document MESTIZAJE Y NACIONALISMO: GENEALOGÍAS DE LA IDENTIDAD RACIAL EN LA NUEVA GRANADA (página 40-45)