ESTUDIOS EPIDEMIOLÓGICOS

Relationship with Potential Suitors

The FACM were finding difficulty integrating, especially on issues pertaining to love

relationships. As expressed by one of the child mothers, ―these people are only interested in our bodies and what we have to offer yet they cannot accept and look after us and our

children”. When one relationship fails, the young women try another one because they

are young and desirous of a meaningful relationship with a man, and the social acceptance this brings. Findings show that due to their tendency to date several partners successively, communities have now labelled the FACM as ―men hoppers”. Further interrogation of this issue indicated that there are two dimensions. First, negative public

opinion against the FACM as depicted by one of the FACM, sometimes coming from people close to their suitors:

...It was from his mother, she said that she does not want formerly abducted women... that women who were formerly abducted, first of all they are wicked, and secondly they like butchering [sic] people with machetes. She added that there was a time a formerly abducted woma n butchered her co-wife with a

machete “so I don‟t want any dirty characters in my home” and that her son

should find another woman. This disorganised our relationship and I am now living alone (Acii Lorna, FACM).

According to the study findings, some men who enter relationships with the FACM may wish to maintain such relationships, but negative public opinion makes them fear going against the social pressure from the family and the community. In a cultural context in which marriage is a key cornerstone of family and community life, failure to find long term marriage partners appeared to be one of the greatest hindrances to social reintegration.

Secondly, it should be emphasised here that the cultural expectation of a young woman is that she will unequivocally submit to her husband. In some cases, however, what happens appears to be outside the control of the FACM as depicted in the following statements:

Another problem we have is that for us who returned from captivity with children, once a man picks interest in you people always ill-advise them saying „even that

one who has returned from the bush is very senseless‟. So you find that men are

no longer interested in us or you find that most of us who have returned from captivity, we do not have any kind of stable relationship with any man. So most of them [FACM] have settled alone and for those who have men, the men pretend to love them but they do not like the children that you came back with. All the time

in the house, he is reminding you that „do not behave like you are from captivity

in my house‟. So I found out that it is difficult to live with men

...Even me (sic) who is speaking I also had a man and lived with him for only three months and we separated.... (Ladwara Maureen)

On the other hand, there are other girls who will not tell the man that she was formerly abducted or that she has children. So, when her husband or her mother - in-law gets to know then they will begin to say that they do not want demons or any formerly abducted person in their home. Sometimes you might have agreed very well and the man begins to hate your children so in that case it is much better to leave since at times you may not have where to leave your children. At times he just surprises you and tells you he is no longer interested in staying with you even after you have told him everything... So being young you would still think that if you get another person there might be a difference (Abalo Harriet).

As seen above the FACM have experienced considerable difficulties in their social reintegration. A different reading from a feminist perspective might suggest that given the agency necessary for survival of bush experiences – post-bush submission is not acceptable to the FACM and that children, rather than husbands, are being put first.

In my discussions with the young women, I noticed that they were very angry at the level of perceived negative societal attitude towards them and lack of support. Some young women perceive other members within the community as jealous and envious of their progress. The FACM believed any positive thing happening in their lives is constructed negatively by the community. They thus lead their lives knowing that the community has, in a way, ganged up against them. The effect of this is further seclusion and isolation of the FACM.

It appears that the perception of worth and dignity among FACM was severely constrained by their perceived rejection from a section of society, be it their potential suitors or other people they had trusted. One girl who survived extreme odds in the bush including being bludgeoned and left for dead, tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of pills when she realised that her (post-bush) partner refused to acknowledge the child she had delivered. The desperation and feeling of hopelessness was further

demonstrated by another FACM (Adero Flo): ―if I knew life was going to be so hard out here, I should have left these children in the bush. It is very difficult trying to raise these children alone without support from anyone‖. Flo‘s responses suggested displaced

aggression towards her children: and she stated that whenever they erred she would mete out disproportionately heavy punishment to them. According to her this was because she felt rejected by society.

The Relationship between FACM and other People within the Community

The study showed that overt stigmatisation was limited although it still exists. Discussions with community members and FACM also indicate that many people in the community whose abducted children have not returned were not happy with the FACM:

Other community members....whose children have not come back [not returned from captivity] don‟t look at them (FACM) with that same heart (sic). They

[community member] have that bit of jealousy despite the training they have received...awareness raising...but some few cases still exist where some members

are still jealous and say you came back but mine {their abducted children} did not come back (NGO staff , Gulu district).

It is as if those families are considered lucky to have their daughters return alive whereas other families do not even know if their children are still alive.

Some of the FACM indicated that in quarrels and arguments with other people, they were often labelled as demon-possessed even though these were simply ‗normal‘ every-

day interactions. Similarly, the children of FACM were also accused of being ―rebel children‖ and full of ―cen‖ (demons) when they were involved in fights with other

children as they played together. Focus group discussion with communities suggests that there is no evidence that children born in captivity are more aggressive than other children in the community. Because of negative public perceptions, some of the FACM had decided to keep a low profile and tried to de-link their history from their bush experience as much as possible. This was to protect their children and to ensure that their experiences in the bush did not stand in the way of their personal development. The fear

of society‘s attitude and behaviour has also meant that some of the FACM withhold

information from children about their parentage and belonging.

‗Name calling‘ and stigmatisation remains strong despite the numerous community

sensitisation meetings and training activities:

The reason as to why I said it (stigmatisation) is happening is that, for example,

when I am passing by someone could say: „do you see that lady passing, she is

former abductee (sic) and it is hard to understand her‟. So even if you were

annoyed by someone and you remained calm they will still tell you that „you are

used to funny things...you are used to killing people...that is why those things disturb you [experiencing nightmares]‟, so it makes our lives difficult (Evas Amono).

From Pabbo, I did not tell anybody that I am from the bush or this is the son of Kony. One day when they were playing with other children, they insulted him

that: „look, your head is like that one of Kony‟, so I asked them: „who told you

that this child belongs to Kony?‟ I went and told their parents however, they continued calling him the son of Kony. I just kept quiet but they later stopped on their own. In Lacor, one day my son was coming from the market where he had bought sugarcane, on his way a boy asked him to give him sugarcane but he

refused. He then said „you are very stupid, you look like Kony, look Kony castrated Otti and ate his penis‟. My son came back crying; I asked and he told

me everything. In the evening I went to the boy‟s father and told him about the

incident. He called 3 of them and told them never to say such words again.

In the above quotations, stigmatisation, especially through labelling and name calling, reminding the children that they have been fathered by rebels, emerges as a key issue, causing mental anguish to the child mothers and their young children, thus affecting their reintegration. The account by Anena Jackie however shows that the father of the child who had insulted her son, took appropriate action to stop this negative behaviour- so this is indicative of at least some measure of community solidarity for the FACM.