A critical event is a significant episode either in the past or present and set in a particular time and place. It constitutes specific moments in life histories that stands out for some reason and include key people, actions, thoughts, and feelings. I asked gang members to recall two specific life events as part of their family socialization and detail what happened, who was involved, what they did, what they were thinking and feeling in the event. I also asked each gang member to convey what impact this key event has had in their life story and what the events say about who they are or were as a person.
The two specific life events of interest are the high and low points in their life story (section 3.1 and 3.2). Gang members were asked to start from their childhood, as far back as they could go, and choose a relatively clear memory and describe it in detail. The memory need not seem especially significant on the day of the interview but rather what makes it significant is that is the first or one of the first memories they had, which they had carried throughout their socialization experiences. So starting with their childhood memories, gang members were also asked about events from their adolescent and adult years that stood out as being especially important.
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4.2.1 High points
A high point is an event or moment in their life history in which they experienced extremely positive emotions, such as excitement, great happiness, an uplifting or even deeper inner peace. It would be a memory that stood out as one of the best, highest, and most wonderful scenes or moments in their life history. Not all twenty-five participants could recall a high point in their life, probably only some of the participants. So when I asked gang members for a childhood, adolescence and young adult high point memory the most popular themes were the following: spending time with the family; a sporting achievement, and becoming or being a father. The low points are covered in the next section.
Spending time with the family was the most frequently mentioned childhood high point memory that gang members cited when I asked them this question. Things like family activities, family outings, family get- togethers for special events and celebrations, and family meetings were sounded out by many gang members at the time of the interview, of which all who mentioned it said they had missed it greatly. Family activities meant a lot to Radle because spending time with his parents made him feel accepted and having parents being genuinely interested in what he was doing made him feel good about himself.
“Yeah always that’s the good memories aye like always take us museum, te papa, everywhere, they used to always come on our school trips, they were at my games, league and all that soccer…my step dad used to buy the oranges for the team…” (Radle)
Agitate remembered how happy he was to see and be part of a family get- together for Christmas where the presents were not important but seeing everyone, everyone who helped set up the dinner table, some were in the kitchen cooking, others had gone to the shops to buy more supplies, and
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when everyone was together he remembers how everyone was enjoying each other’s company. It was during these times he felt the love in the atmosphere which he missed, probably because it does not happen as often anymore, but more importantly, it made him feel close to his family.
“Christmas 07...everyone was together just happy having fun all putting in to help out then all feeling good afterwards, this meant a lot to me cos hardly have it anymore...you can feel the love.” (Agitate)
The same can be said when the family celebrate a family member’s birthday like Rasik’s mom. What impressed Rasik was how he and other family members planned it together and how his mother was surprised when she found out her kids wanted to honour her birthday. To Rasik this was one of the greatest highlights in his life history.
“Ah my mom’s birthday, I was fifteen...I just remember my mom being happy as that day cos we’re all there and the reason why she was happy is cos we planned it... she started crying cos it was my brother that was saying a lauga (speech or sermon) to her and then she had her turn to say something she said that she never thought her kids will do this for her I reckon that’s the happiest teenage memory in my life.” (Rasik)
The most popular response with regards to a positive adolescent high point memory was gaining a sporting achievement. For example, Young D was ecstatic when he made the high school’s first XV rugby team; even though he was a junior, he was proud and knew that his family would recognize his accomplishment especially when his family attended his rugby games and watched him play.
“I made the first-fifteen when I was fourth form and my first year was alright like cos they were bigger than me. I felt happy that my parents were proud of me.” (Young D)
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Dust remembers when his rugby team won the rugby tournament and how it made him feel good to be part of team and share in its success. It made him feel accepted and popular.
“Yeah I think it’s that time when we took out on my rugby season aye, yeah that was probably like a mean year, nah we just had like you know some good players, um yeah we were like pretty much undefeated the whole year.” (Dust)
For B-Sup it was winning a swimming award and being first out of the whole school and out of all the schools he competed against. Not only did B-Sup’s achievement mean it was the first time a Samoan had won the national school swimming competition, it was also because he was an only child and for once he did not feel like he was alone.
“Swimming, I was like fourteen-fifteen, when I was still at school, I sassed (beat them convincingly) them. Made me feel like “mean” (super proud) cos I was like the only Samoan, and I won something. I got ah you know those ribbons, get a red one means your kaea (shitty or useless), the yellow one like you achieved merit but I got the light blue one, the top one.” (B-Sup)
The most recurring young adult highlight memory, for some of the gang members, was fatherhood. For instance, B-On cried tears of joy when he attended the birth of his first child.
“...probably having my son yeah, far I wanted to cry but I held it back cos um the midwife was around...I didn’t want them to see it aye but then my missus goes I’m sure they’re used to dads crying…I don’t know I’m a teenager you know my first time experience stuff like that...” (B-On)
Gypsy was also very happy when he witnessed the birth of his daughter even though the method he and his partner chose to celebrate and ease his partner’s pain was unorthodox.
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“I’ve had a couple of those days aye, seeing my daughter come out birth you know I don’t know that’s one of the happiest days, fuck going there and fuck my tiene’s (girlfriend) like roll me a joint (a marijuana cigarette) like I rolled one for her cos fuck it got worser, she said the pain, she said it’s like someone just coming underneath with the knife and slicing you.” (Gypsy)
Other notable highpoints mentioned were like Rasik’s brother being released from prison and B-Red spending the night at cousin’s house. Rasik selected the time when his older brother was released from prison as the happiest moment in his life. His older brother had been his role model, best friend and protector. He had missed him dearly when he was incarcerated so when he was released Rasik was very excited.
“Probably when my brother first came back out from prison... when he was still inside he used to ring when I was young and I used to cry when I hear him on the phone when I hear his voice I always miss him...we went home and he came out of the house I just I just walked up to him and started hugging him yeah I was happy as to see him.” (Rasik)
Several gang members celebrated the release of their older brothers from prison, which would have been a great highlight, as well as spending the night at their friends or family member’s house, which many gang members like B-Red indicated was a highlight in their life.
“...mainly going to church, Sunday school, sleeping over my aunties house with my other two twin cousins, boy cousins, we always used to play PS2 until the morning...going to school, I was a good boy then, never did anything wrong... whenever I was at my aunties house I got anything I wanted cos they were rich, anything I wanted to eat, they’ll go buy it, I felt happy I just wanted to live there.” (B-Red)
Although there were many highlights for the gang members in this study there were also low points. What is interesting about the low points that the gang members shared was there seem to be more low points than highlights during their family socialization experiences.
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4.2.2 Low points
Low points are the opposite of a highlight and are specific experiences in which extremely negative emotions are felt such as despair, disillusionment, guilt, anger, and sadness. Even though this memory is unpleasant, it was an episode that has stood out as one of the worst, lowest and least wonderful moment in their life history. When I asked gang members this question there was three main themes emerging out of their responses: negative experiences to do with discipline and punishment (family control), family breakdown due to family violence and absent fathers, and dealing with grief.
All the gang members identified, described and evaluated instances where they were subjected to extraordinary forms of discipline and punishment. Most gang members in this study were disciplined through the use of physical of force and punished immediately rather than talking through what they had done wrong. They were beaten with various objects, for example, a table was used to beat B-Red one day by his mother that knocked him out unconscious to the ground.
“...the worse hiding I got from my mom, there was a table like this (referring to the table at the venue where he was interviewed) but it was triangle... she used it as a weapon, she grabbed my head and just went smack. I got knocked out. I just fell back…”(B-Red)
A lampshade and light was used on Negro by his father and it broke on him but I could not help but notice that as Negro was sharing this memory he made a joke about his beatings that this explained why his family lounge was short of lampshades.
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“…the lamps, the light yeah he used to crack it on me aye…but now, it’s been three years now that my dad hasn’t laid a hand on me, he’ll probably just um talk to me but he won’t do it anymore.” (Negro)
Other gang members were beaten with objects by one parent and then when that parent was tired the other parent stepped in and continued with the beating. In Radle’s case, he shared one day his mother used the telescopic aluminium arm of the vacuum on him until her hands got sore. Then his step-father took over, slapped him at first with an open hand across his face and then used a closed-fist punch to his head. Radle explains that the reason why his step-father changed from slapping to punching Radle was because he saw that Radle was not affected by his slaps so his step-father decided that Radle required more pain and excessive force that eventually knocked him out unconscious. Radle also commented that sometimes he would run away but when his step-dad caught up with him his beatings were worse.
“When I get a hiding, my dad knocked me out heaps of times, sometimes my mom will deal to me but she uses weapons like the vacuum. You know when my mom’s hands get sore then my step dad he just walks up ‘how many times have I told you?’ po’s (slap) me first then poki’s (punch) me. He doesn’t care if I run away cos he’ll catch me, so I just stand there cos if you run it’s worse.” (Radle)
For B-Kew, his step-father was the only one who disciplined and punished him because his birth-mother could not do it anymore. He said his mother gave up because he was not crying anymore and she needed to pass it on to his step-father to sort him out. His step-father used his fists on B-Kew like a boxing punching bag. It is interesting what B-Kew says that he preferred getting beatings from objects rather than closed fists and what happens after his beating.
“...my step dad... he found out that I smoke and then he told me if you wanna smoke come here and I came to the table and he gave me a hiding with the
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table chairs, he broke it on me, I was like twelve. But those are not sore I’d rather he hit me with things than with his hands cos when he gives you a hiding with things it breaks and your hidings finished but when you get a hiding with hands it doesn’t break and he just keeps going and going…” (B-Kew)
Syn shared an experience where he endured a prolonged physical beating that could have led to his uncle being arrested for assault and Syn being hospitalised. When I listened to Syn’s account his patience was immense because he said his uncle punched him to the ground and he got back up and his uncle punched back to the ground and Syn got back up again. He said it went on like this for some time and he said he wanted to punch his uncle back but he could not because it was culturally disrespectful. Instead Syn got angrier and angrier, and it was this emotion that fuelled his defiance and resistance to stay down on the ground. By standing up against his beating Syn’s beating got worse and after a long time he decided to run away to avoid doing something he would regret later on.
“...fuck a mean hiding aye, I ended up wanting to take him on eh. He was like straight punches, kicks, with the wood…you know I ended up getting you know all I could see was stars aye cos he got up and he dropped me like he just went boom then I got on the ground and I got up “what aye fuck!” like crying, and then boom, got up boom, got up “what aye fuck!” boom, got up boom, got up far I did that for ages aye and then he started kicking my head...” (Syn)
However, and perhaps strangely, a few gang members actually commented that their beatings actually helped them behave even though the beatings got worse when they got older. For example, B-Kew mentioned, he never stood up to his step-father when he was getting thrashed because he felt it helped him stay out of trouble.
“I remember I used to come home stoned and my mom opens the door and asks me what are you doing and I just come fall down, finish, and stand up, I think that’s why her boyfriend gave me hidings aye cos I put my mom through too many stuff aye, and you can see my mom’s getting like sad yeah and…the only
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way I used to learn if he gives me a hiding fuck. I’ll be good for like ages like a whole month I’ll be good...” (B-Kew)
For B-On it not only helped him behave but the beatings also made his father feel guilty to the point of refraining from physical punishment which was brought on from restarting his church attendance.
“Yeah he changed and doesn’t give us a hiding no more ever since he started going back to church…” (B-On)
While B-Ware thinks his father stopped giving him beatings because he did not like what he did to him and what he was becoming; a bully.
“Then he just talked to me like, my old man you know he stopped aye he saw like I think he saw the way he was giving us a hiding back then was like too serious so my old man just gives us lectures…” (B-Ware)
Despite the reduction in physical punishment for some of the gang members, for others it continued to be the only way that parents resorted to in order to control and stop them from being wayward and delinquent. The previous stories detail horrific experiences of abuse and inappropriate approaches to disciplining the gang members in this study. And yet it was not only violence that their parents inflicted on these gang members that they felt.
The second low point, family breakdown, was when the relationships between the parents (adults) was strained because of constant arguing and thus they failed to reconcile and restore their love for one another as well as keeping the family intact. Moreover when gang members mentioned was growing up without their “real” birth father and how it emotionally affected them.
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violently and others preferring to withdraw and isolate themselves. The most prevailing memory of witnessing family violence was seeing their