Funciones exactas, mezcladoras y del tipo transitivas

To analyse the data an adaptation of constant comparison as described by Corbin and Strauss (2008); Strauss and Corbin (1998) was used. Coding of the data enabled me to try to understand what the participants were telling me about being delirious, the feelings they experienced, what they believed happened to them, how they felt about the experience and what was the most important feeling or feelings they used to describe their experience. This

compelled me to listen very carefully to what the participants were saying and how they were saying it. This gave me the encouragement to understand what they were saying and not jump to conclusions based on my own theoretical knowledge and clinical expertise.

In the first stage of open coding, I analysed the transcribed data line by line by asking the questions ‘what does this mean’ and ‘what does this seem to mean’? This process identified words that were the most prevalent and had the same meaning or importance and as a result the emergence of preliminary concepts began (see below).

Staff, ambivalence, medication, trust, suspicion, previous experience, left with, time of experience, brain, mind, health, thoughts of validation, trapped, the experience, no understanding, no sympathy, intense feelings, family experienced, security, loss of mind, abandonment, trauma, recall of experience, during the experience, loss of security, family experience, staff assistance, how left, grief, ashamed, guilty, remorseful, distress, embarrassment, am an idiot, disbelief, silly, I was evil, I am to blame, my age, my health, my medications, need to apologise to everyone, terrible terror inside me, strong willed, self-resilient,, always of sound mind, level headed, strong in mind, dreadful, scary, daunting, horrendous, terrible maze, scared stiff, horrified, off the planet, really went off, devastated , felt shocking about it, but it was me, left its mark, did not want to be alone, doing ungodly things, haven’t got over it, it was me, never had it before, unbelievable, the disgust, one of the worst, still feels it could have been true, harmful, remember the worst, muddled mind, a dream, puzzling, really a terrible thing, unbelievable, I was dying, people killing me, being killed, poisoning me, still concerned, still have thoughts.

As Figure 3 illustrates, there were many initial codes that included a group of codes. I continued to compare codes against codes and data against data (axial coding), giving an understanding of the relationship between them. By using constant comparison, the subcategories produced were the suffering, the predicament, how I was before, how am I now, how have I been left. The core categories identified were living the delirium and living after the delirium (refer to Tables 12 and 13).

Figure 3 Open coding process

LIVING THE DELIRIUM LIVING AFTER

THE DELIRIUM INTENSE FEELING OF HORROR NO UNDERSTANDING NO EMPATHY NO SYMPATHY TRAPPED ABANDONMENT MISTRUST THE INTENSITY AS DESCRIBED BY THE PATIENT RECALL OF THE EXPERIENCE SCARS REWARDS LOSS OF MIND, SEARCHING FOR CAUSES

THE EXPERIENCE TRAPPED BRAIN, MIND LEFT WITH

TRUST SUSPICION AMBIVALENCE MEDICATION THOUGHTS OF VALIDATION SECURITY OF FAMILY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE THE LOSS OF ME, BEFORE NOW, LEFT

Table 12 Living the delirium

THE SUFFERING THE PREDICAMENT

THE FEELING THE SUSPICION AND

MISTRUST BEING TRAPPED TO BE ABANDONED THE DISMISSAL

THE DISCONNECTION  HORROR  TERROR  FEAR  TERRIFYING  HORRENDOUS  SHOCKING  DREADFUL  DAUNTING  SUSPICIOUS

 DID NOT SEEM TO TRUST ANYONE

 EVERYONE AGAINST ME

 BEING KILLED

 POISONING ME

 SECURITY

 WHO WAS GOOD WHO WAS BAD

 TRAPPED

 COULD NOT GET OUT

 BEING SHUT IN

 UNDERNEATH

 LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM

 BEING PUT OUT OF THE WAY

 NEVER GET OUT OF HOSPITAL  THOUGHT OF DYING  NO UNDERSTANDING  NO SYMPATHY  LOSS OF SECURITY  NO ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS

 NEED THE FAMILY

 SORT OF LOST  BEING ALONE  TREATED AS A JOKE  IT’S NOTHING  IT’S COMMON  NO UNDERSTANDING  NO EMPATHY  NO SYMPATHY  HORRIFIED

 IMAGINED HEARD VOICES

 CONFUSED

 TAKING ME AWAY

 TV WAS A CAMERA

 BUILDING ON FIRE

 PLATES WERE BOMBS

 CO-PATIENT WAS A SPY

 TISSUE BOX BECAME A DOG

 BLACK KNOBS IN EVERY CORNER

 THEY MADE A BOAT

 EVERYONE WAS THERE

 PUTTING SPIDERS IN THE ROOM

 ALL THE ROOTS IN THE CEILING

 ON A RIVER’S EDGE

 GRANDDAUGHTER IN THE NEXT ROOM

 FLOATING AROUND THE ROOM ON BITS OF TIMBER

Table 13 Living after the delirium

HOW I WAS BEFORE HOW I AM NOW HOW HAVE I BEEN LEFT

THEIR STRENGTH WHY WAS THIS

HAPPENING TO ME THEIR SHAME AND GUILT THEIR REMAINING SCARS

THEIR STRENGTH OF HEALING  STRONG WILLED  RESILIENT  SOUND MIND  LEVEL HEADED  STRONG IN MIND

 NEVER LIKE THAT

 WOULDN’T DO IT

 NEVER BEEN IN HOSPITAL

 WHY

 COULDN’T THINK STRAIGHT

 ALL THE MEDICATION

 WHAT CAUSES IT

 LOSS OF MIND

 MUDDLED MIND

 MY OTHER CONDITIONS

 I THOUGHT I WAS GOING SILLY

 SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENED

 IT WAS ME

 I WAS EVIL

 NEED TO KEEP APOLOGISING

 I AM TO BLAME  ASHAMED  REMORSEFUL  GUILTY  IDIOT  EMBARRASSED

 REALLY HORRIFIED TO THINK THAT WAS ME

 NEVER AGAIN

 STILL PERSISTING

 STILL CONCERNED

 ONE OF THE WORST

 REMAINS UNSURE

 ONGOING FEAR

 NEEDS TO CONTINUE TO CLARIFY

 AFFECTED PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY

 NEVER WANT IT AGAIN

 CONQUERED IT

 NOT AFRAID OF FURTHER SURGERY

 DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT

 REGAINED CONFIDENCE

 CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

 KNOWLEDGE OF OTHERS HAVING IT

 IMPORTANT TO TELL ABOUT EXPERIENCE