LA HISPANIA ALTOIMPERIAL II FLAVIOS Y ANTONINOS LOS FLAVIOS

building, the principal is the individual charged with setting the tone of the building. Of the nine participants of the study, seven felt that the administrator lacked empathy regarding their loss,

while two felt their immediate administrator was empathetic and offered meaningful support. Different feelings that were revealed were “there was no acknowledgement of my loss,” “no one checked on me personally,” “no follow up afterwards,” and “conversations were very dis-

ingenuine.” Many participants felt that when they told their administrators about the loss that had happened, mainly infant and parental loss, they were met with responses that did not reference their loss. The administrators never once apologized or offered any condolences. Instead, responses included head nodding or sharing a related similar story about a loss they had

personally suffered. Ms. Morgan: “When I talked to administration, there was no real empathy, and no one reached out to me to ask how I was doing.” Ms. Reed experienced a similar

experience. A supervisor who she trusted and confided in remarked that they also had lost their mother and it was “a beautiful transition.” Ms. Reed’s mother had been on life support for two weeks after unexpectedly falling into a coma. For obvious reasons, she did not feel that the beautiful transition remark was exactly fitting to her situation. For Ms. Wilson, staff was encouraged to not reach out due to school not being an appropriate place to show emotions.

For the two participants who felt they were met with empathy from their administrators, their experience was very positive. The administrators were understanding and assured them they needed to take the time they needed in order to be in a good place mentally when they returned to work. Ms. Scott remarked that their principal was not the type to leave their office very much but would constantly come to the classroom and check up on her. Her principal would embrace her, rub her back, and continually take the time to ask how she was doing and if she was okay. Ms. James had a premonition that she needed to take a day off and be with her mother and the administrators were very supportive. Her mother passed the next day. “I have strong memories of being very empathetic and very supportive . . . they told me not to worry about anything, that

they had things covered.” She recalls that while plans did need to be submitted and ready a week in advance, she was still concerned that she may have missed things and it was a relief to know she did not need to worry.

In order to combat the feeling that administrators lack empathy, participants suggested that sensitivity training be mandatory for administrators and supervisory staff that work with teachers. Ms. Gray remarked, “How do we teach empathy to grown adults?” Some of the educators expressed concern that their students were more caring than the adults they worked with. Of the parents and students who were made aware of loss, most were supportive and empathetic towards the needs of the participants. Two of the participants were working with older students at the middle school and high school level. Those students offered gestures of support by asking how they were doing and having conversations about loss. Ms. Gray shared her experience with her students:

I think because I had older students and they asked a lot of questions, I was able to kind of process it like a little bit through that, like talking to them. They were 17 and 18 so they could have a decent conversation with you. I was able to process it a little bit . . . I think that almost turned into more of like a teachable moment for my students.

Ms. Reed experienced the loss of her mother over spring break, so her absence was not greatly felt initially. However, she took some time off the following week and students were eager to talk to her when she returned. Students offered condolences, asked how she was feeling, and gave her hugs. The population she works with are students who are heavily affected by death and almost numb to it, so she was felt hopeful and encouraged that these students were empathetic. She stated:

I told them I appreciated their, you know, sympathy for me and being empathetic. I said, that is a part of growing up―that’s a part of becoming an adult and you’re on the right track. And I so appreciated that.

Others remarked that they received cards and small gifts like candy from students. At conferences, parents told one teacher that they told their child to be good because they were aware she was going through a rough time. Sadly, Ms. Reed discussed that when she told a school counselor about her loss, the counselor just nodded and said, “‘uh hmm’ . . . there was no I’m so sorry or sorry for what happened . . . no I’m sorry for your loss.” She was surprised because she felt if anyone would have had the right words to say and a high level of empathy to offer, it would have been the counselor. Some colleagues were very supportive with participants and offered to watch their classrooms if they needed a break or needed to step away from

students. Ms. Gray shared: “not from administration, from other coworkers. There was a lot of support and a lot of hugs and kind of just a lot of grace if I needed it.” They lent their shoulders to cry, said prayers, and sent emails and cards to show their support. Ms. Morgan revealed that with her perinate loss, it was staff who showed the most empathy:

My colleagues were super supportive. Some of them knew everything that was going on, some did not know, and they did not ask questions. They were just there to support. My grade level texted and showed their concern . . . they said they would do whatever I needed. And then there’s other colleagues, not people in my grade level, but in the building, that were super supportive that came over and brought dinner in cards. Regarding her principal’s reaction, Ms. Morgan continued:

I was just in the principal’s office and it was pretty emotional. And she said do you need to leave, or can you teach today? So, I said I could teach, and I stayed and went on with

the day and then that was, that was pretty much it from there. There was never any other follow-up as to how I was doing after that. . . . Yeah, I would have expected a little bit more sympathy and understanding and them saying that they would handle it and cover the classroom and probably let me go.

Overall, most participants felt it was crucial for someone, mainly their administrator, to “say something.” The feelings of not being supported lingered with the teachers and the admin that had a poor experience. The manner in which the teacher was addressed after their loss left long- lasting impressions, whether positive or negative.

Theme 3: Lack of designated grieving space. The third theme that emerged was the