Impactos económicos

The aspect that the PSTs most frequently mentioned in the journals in the first phase of the study was related to the PSTs themselves. They usually showed a descriptive level of reflection when talking about the following:

 Feelings

 Role and responsibility

 Awareness of own mistakes

 Areas of opportunity

 Personality

5.5.1.1 Feelings

The PSTs focused on describing positive and negative feelings that came to light during their teaching practice. Some of the comments they expressed illustrated happiness and confidence gained. Sofía, for example, mentioned how happy she was when she ‘noticed that students enjoyed playing games’ (JPh1/Sofía01/ll12). This showed that she based her feelings on the students’ reactions to an activity. Alternatively, some PSTs mentioned that their happiness was due to their own performance; Zoé (JPh1/04/ll32) stated that she ‘really feel[s] proud and happy to see progress’. The majority of the time, the PSTs did not provide further details about the evolution in their teaching practice. Positive feelings were interconnected to confidence gained as they learned more about their students. In this regard, Perla described that:

I am feeling more confident when teaching to these students. I already know how they are and the way they behave. Also I know some of their strengths and weaknesses.

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It seemed that the growing familiarity with students dispelled lack of experience and lack of knowledge about teaching at this stage of their teaching practice. Moreover, noticing students learning and their interest in the lesson also increased the PSTs confidence about their classes. For instance, Sunny declared that he managed to control the class as time went by ‘and that fact is helping me build a better confidence and not to be afraid of teaching them’ (JPh1/Sunny04/ll2–3). Interestingly, some PSTs reported that their self-assurance increased when they improved their practice, while others indicated that as they felt more confident they were able to pay attention to more aspects of their teaching and improve it. The progress they reported was on various aspects of their teaching. Laura, for example, talked about her evolution in terms of monitoring the class. She learned that standing in one place in the classroom was not adequate and she started supervising the class, ‘therefore, I believe I have improved that aspect’ (JPh1/Laura03/ll15). Laura was (apparently) constantly reflecting upon the things that she needed to improve in her practice; however, her reflections in her subsequent journal entries were very descriptive, without providing more insights on the topic of concern (e.g. ‘I am really happy about what I have learned and achieved this semester’ (JPh1/Laura09/ll5)). Most of the times, the feeling of accomplishment was linked to classroom management. For instance, Luna highlighted that:

[…] I think I showed authority and I got a quick response from the students and this made me feel proud of myself.

(JPh1/Luna05/ll24–28)

In previous entries, Luna had expressed her distress for not being firm and not being able to control the students the way her peers used to do. She said that her sense of accomplishment increased when she managed to make use of her voice

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as a support to achieve class control. In a later entry, she expressed that she felt proud because:

[…] I felt I was able to use my authority to encourage the students but without losing the friendly atmosphere and the touch of fun of the activity.

(JPh1/Luna08/ll23–25)

Luna constantly looked for a balance to be able to manage the class by being firm with students, but also by creating a good class environment. Apparently, developing her identity as a teacher (being friendly and firm at the same time) was necessary for her. The constant emphasis on being ‘an authority’ might be because most of the PSTs were young novice teachers who usually thought they their juvenile appearance might have cause students’ disrespect. This could also be because the PSTs did not see themselves as teachers but as students doing their teaching practice with groups that were not their own (Miller 2009) (see 5.5.1.2).

Generally speaking, the PSTs’ negative feelings were more related to the nervousness about it being the first class, and feeling sad or angry at some situations in the classroom. Frida, for example, reported a mixture of feelings during her first time teaching experience. She said that:

During the week, I experienced many different feelings from happiness and relieve to anger and sadness. However, I knew that it had to happen because it is the first time I give classes to high school guys.

(JPh1/Frida01/ll6–8)

Apparently, the expectations of the first week of teaching practice triggered those feelings. The fact that it was the PSTs’ first experience, that they did not know the students, and did not know how the classes would develop, could have been the reason the PSTs felt uneasy. During the PSTs’ teaching practice there were other commentaries expressing negative feelings due to various reasons. One such case

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was Sofía, who expressed that she felt disillusioned because she ‘had planned the lessons thinking on motivating them [the students] and they did not appreciate it’ (JPh1/Sofía03/ll17–18). Students’ lack of response to the class triggered these kinds of disheartening feelings; however, there were also some situations that the PSTs attributed to themselves as the cause of their disappointment. Alcatraz shared her impression:

I was very disappointed because my voice was low again and I have noticed that the voice is very important because with it you can catch the students' attention or you can also bore them.

(JPh1/Alcatraz03/ll1–3)

Apparently, having a negative feeling provoked the PSTs’ need to evaluate their performance and notice aspects of the teaching practice that were important to consider. Alcatraz was the only participant in this phase to portray possible consequences of her performance (not catching students’ attention due to her low voice).

5.5.1.2 Role and responsibility

It seemed that having a first teaching experience made the PSTs realise that being a teacher is not an easy job, as they conveyed in their journals. Due to this, there were a few comments on their role and the responsibility this career entails. Marguerita wrote that:

Being a teacher is one of the best works that a person can do but at the same time it has lots of responsibilities. A teacher plays a role of a mentor so he/she becomes an example for students and also a teacher has the responsibility of what he/she will teach to the students.

(JPh1/Marguerita02/ll1–4)

Apparently, Marguerita was becoming aware of the importance of learning to be a teacher and her role in a class. Although she did not state it, being aware of her

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role might have helped her define her own identity and role in her personal teaching style. The magnitude of the profession was also underscored by Sunny who was aware that being a teacher implies a permanent process of learning:

It is said that to be a teacher is only about standing in front of a group talking and talking. However this wonderful profession implies more than that. This great experience, I am sure, will help me grow up professionally and beware that teachers never stop learning.

(JPh1/Sunny09/ll14–17)

Some comments related to the PSTs’ identity as teachers emerged in their journals; however, they maintained vague descriptions. Pinky, for instance, stated that her students did not respect her ‘due to the fact that the [head] teacher did not introduce us as English teachers’ (JPh1/Pinky03/ll14–15). It seemed that being recognised by the students not as visitors but as persons who were there to teach during the term was important and necessary to succeed.

5.5.1.3 Awareness of own mistakes

During the process of reflecting upon various aspects of their teaching, the PSTs focused on some mistakes they made, especially in terms of the use of the English language. For example, Laura’s concern about her making mistakes was recurrent and evident in most entries. She described that:

When making mistakes with pronunciation or use of tenses, I always tried to correct myself. That is something I really need to keep working on.

(JPh1/Laura03/ll10–11)

It seemed that Laura was committed to improving her oral and written production in English, even though she did not indicate how. Making mistakes was a real dilemma for most PSTs’. For instance, Lilo indicated that:

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words. The second was the way I formulated some questions (grammatical mistakes) and the third was the meaning of the verb bore. I think that it happened because I did not have much time to practice beforehand the information I had to present.

(JPh1/Lilo05/ll6–10)

Clearly, Lilo attributed the problems with her pronunciation, grammar, and vocabulary to her lack of preparation. Like Lilo, most PSTs described mistakes, without providing explanation of why they thought the mistakes were or how they planned to improve. One aspect of the PSTs’ comments that is noteworthy is that most of them were aware of those mistakes and areas of opportunity; nevertheless, only a few described the consequences of making mistakes and manifested their willingness to improve their practice.