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Although your tone will to a certain extent depend on the words you use, it is also influ-enced by the way you use them. If you set out to be friendly, for example, you will express yourself in a way that conveys that impression, whether you are speaking or writing. If you are not pleased about something, you will choose forms of expression that make that clear.

Be sincere

One of the most important things about getting your tone right is sincerity. Whether you are trying to make a sale, replying to an enquiry or making a complaint, you must believe in what you are saying, and that belief must be made clear. Look at the following pas-sage: ‘We acknowledge with thanks receipt of your recent communication, and enclose a copy of our catalogue as requested. Should you have any queries, the undersigned will be pleased to assist you.’ Reading this, do you get the feeling that the ‘undersigned’

really will be pleased to assist you? It does not sound much like it. The language is so stilted and formal that it becomes merely a form of words, without real meaning. This may have been acceptable in the past, but in today’s more informal business climate, it would be considered almost rude.

Now look at this: ‘I would like to thank you most sincerely for taking the time to write to us, and for giving us the opportunity to serve you. Here is your very own copy of our catalogue, to browse through at your leisure. If you have any queries, I would love to help you. I’ll be waiting for your call.’ This writer goes too far in the other direction. The tone is too gushing, too good to be true. First, if you are being sincere, the last thing you should do is say so. If you have to tell people that you are being sincere, then you have failed to get your sincerity across. Second, do you really believe that someone is sitting

Now see how you can say the same thing simply, straightforwardly, and yet with sincer-ity: ‘Thank you for your letter. I am pleased to enclose our latest catalogue, for you to browse through at your leisure. If you have any queries I would be happy to help, so just give me a call.’ This is not over-formal, but nor does it gush. It does not give the impres-sion that the writer is merely using a form of words, but it also does not sound as though he or she is trying too hard. In other words it sounds sincere.

Be clear

Your communication should be as clear, as precise and as direct as possible. The tone, the way you use your words and sentences, can usually help to achieve this.

A common mistake is to try to emphasise important points with lengthy explanations.

This is more likely to turn people off what you are saying. It is much better to use short, punchy, one-sentence paragraphs or repeat the word or idea once or twice in short sen-tences. In certain circumstances, you might use underlining or block capitals, but these devices should be used sparingly, otherwise they lose their effect.

Clarity and precision also mean avoiding vague terms and euphemisms. We saw in Chapter 1 how Jane Lee, in her verbal report to her colleagues, referred to a ‘good’ meet-ing with Carlos Rodriguez. You would probably be able to get away with this in spoken communication, because your audience could ask for clarification. But it would neverthe-less be better to be more precise, and in a written document it would be essential. You should say what made the meeting good: was it productive, did it clarify the issues, did it lead to an agreement, or did you just get on well with the other people there?

Euphemisms are a form of vagueness: at best they use more words than a direct state-ment and at worst, because of their lack of directness, they can be misunderstood. They also give the impression that you are trying to hide something. So do not say, ‘Profits showed a negative trend’ when you mean ‘We made a loss’, or even when you mean

‘Profits were down on last year.’ Not only does it sound as though you are trying to hide your poor performance behind the euphemism, but as we have seen, it could mean either of two things.

It is not only euphemisms that can sometimes be ambiguous. Even apparently straight-forward words and sentences might be capable of being understood in more than one way. So if, for example, you use the word ‘sales’, is it clear from your context whether you mean sales value or sales volume; and can people tell whether ‘improvement in

Testing for Clarity

To see whether what you are going to say is as clear as it should be, ask these questions.

G If a particular point is unusual or especially important, how are you planning to emphasise it?

G Are there any vague expressions?

G Are there any euphemisms?

G Are any words or sentences ambiguous?

G Have you got all the information required?

profitability’ means increased profits or higher profit margins? You should also not say something like ‘I need to know what our costs will be by the end of this month’ if you mean ‘I need to know by the end of this month what our costs will be.’ In the first sen-tence, ‘by the end of this month’ refers to the costs, not to when you need to know.

Finally, clarity requires that you give all the information that is necessary so that there is no scope for misunderstanding or confusion. In a quotation, for example, you need to ensure that you describe the goods or services for which you are quoting precisely, and give the prices, the cost of any extras, delivery time, etc.

Be brief

As we saw in Chapter 1, one of the cardinal rules in business communication is brevity.

Business people do not want to waste time reading or listening to a lot of superfluous ver-biage. They want information, but they want to be able to absorb it as quickly as possible.

One way of achieving brevity, of course, is to use as few words as possible. You should not, however, let brevity get in the way of clarity; if shortening your communication makes it incomplete or difficult to follow, then it is not worth doing. Nor should you choose brevity before politeness; if using fewer words means omitting some of the cour-tesies, then again it is not worth it.

There are three main causes of wordiness in business communications:

G circumlocution

G vague qualifiers

G padding

Let us look at each in turn. Circumlocution means using a long expression when a short one will do. For example, someone trying to sound important might say, ‘I have caused enquiries to be made with a view to establishing the reasons for our inability to supply your order.’ This could be said quite simply in half the words: ‘I have enquired into the reasons why we were unable to supply your order.’ The first version does not sound important, nor does it add weight to what the person is saying. It simply sounds pompous and long-winded.

Vague qualifiers are adjectives and adverbs that do not mean anything. These include

‘really’, ‘good’, ‘nice’ and similar words which are usually used because the writer or speaker cannot be bothered to think of anything more precise or simply because they are handy fillers. Using such words as fillers in conjunction with more precise terms in speech will usually be acceptable, because spoken English tends to be more informal and they can give you time to gather your thoughts. However, even in speech they should not be used instead of precise terms. And they should not be used, even as fillers, in written documents.

An example of using these words as fillers is in the description of a meeting as being

‘really productive’. Is this any different from a ‘productive’ meeting? Is it as productive as

enough to convey the specific idea. But what do you make of the expression ‘a good candidate’? Whether you are speaking or writing, this is not precise or clear enough to be of any value. Does it describe someone who interviews well, someone who is suit-able for the job, someone with the right qualifications, or all three?

The use of vague qualifiers as fillers is one example of padding – using words and expressions that serve no useful purpose. Longer expressions that fall into this category include ‘It should be noted that ...’ and ‘I must say that ...’ Again, you can get away with using such expressions when speaking, as long as you do not do so too often, but they should not be used in written communications.

You also need to be careful; although most expressions like this are unnecessary, some can serve a useful purpose. For example, ‘You will appreciate that ...’ sounds like padding, but it can be used to get the reader on your side. For example, if you want to explain why you are unable to give a customer a higher discount, you can say: ‘You will appreciate that our discounts are already generous. Our margins are therefore already tight, and any increase in discount would erode them yet further.’ This appeals to your customer as a reasonable and intelligent person who will understand these problems. So although ‘You will appreciate’ is really padding, it does serve a purpose.