Instrumentos de diagnóstico

As mentioned in Chapter Three, I interviewed five students at the beginning and the end of the research project who became my case study participants. I identified 8 students of the 17 who were diverse representatives of the group, using gender, racial identity, demonstrated participation levels in the dialogue sessions, and both students who requested to be in the cohort and those who were placed in it. Out of the 17 students, 2 of them were males, both of whom I interviewed. Five students of the 8 agreed to be interviewed at the beginning and the end of the research study.

The five case study participants included two students of Color, an Asian female (Mai) and a Latino male (Leo) who grew experiencing many racialized situations in their communities and K-12 schooling, a White male (Eric) who grew up in a small rural town and served in the military before coming back to college to become a teacher, one White female (Olivia) who grew up in a fairly white context until coming to college, and a second White female (Rachel) who grew up in a rural area. These students had different experiences prior to the IGD dialogue and their sharing within the dialogue group influenced them in different ways.

Mai

Mai is of Asian American heritage and identified as Korean American. She grew up in a suburb of a major city. Mai was one of the few Asian American students in her teacher education program. She admitted that she felt like an outsider who did not fit in with the rest of her peers in the program. She often attributed it to her race and cultural background, which differed

significantly from the majority of her education classmates. She had deep ethnic and cultural roots, and that was demonstrated in many of the things she said and the extracurricular activities

in which she participated. This may be in part because of the racial discrimination she vividly remembered from her childhood and adolescence. During her initial interview, her written reflections, and the dialogue sessions, Mai shared powerful stories about the visible racial discrimination she experienced and the many stereotypes that had befallen her as the “model minority9_.”

Mai said in her initial interview that she was motivated to take the dialogue class: “I want more people to know more about the racial inequalities that we have. So I hope to share more about that.” Mai wanted to share with her White peers some of the past racial incidents she had experienced. She felt there were misconceptions and inaccurate perceptions about those who identify as Asian American heritage, and she hoped that sharing her experiences would help dispel some of that. Following is part of the interview session that took place on September 8, 2014, and includes a few examples of Mai’s racialized experiences.

Mai: I remember my freshmen year, when I wore my letters to class [sorority letters] and people would be like, I have never heard of that, what is that, and I would tell them it’s an Asian interest sorority and they would give me a weird look.

Natasha: Okay.

Mai: And then the whole thing about my sister, she came home crying from her dialogue group where she was talking about multicultural Greek fraternities and sororities and that made me sad that people thought that way.

Natasha: Thought what way?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9_{The belief is that Asians as a minority group have successfully “made it” in the United States through hard work} and education and without special assistance. They serve as a model for other people of Color to follow. This portrayal has been a major theme in media since the middle of the 1960’s (Ngo & Lee, 2007; Wing, 2007; Wong,

Mai: Oh sorry, how they think multicultural Greeks [sororities and fraternities] are not necessary. Especially the Black sororities and fraternities, they go so far back and then I think a lot of people don’t know. The same concept for the Asian sorority applies to my high school life. . . . I always thought it was strange that Caucasian people make fun of ethnic groups for hanging out together. Like my prom group senior year was all-Asian. And then people would say “oh aha. It’s like an all-Asian prom group.” And I never understood why. No one makes fun of all-Caucasian prom groups, so “Why are you making fun of an Asian prom group?” Even Asian people will fall for that. My Asian friend told me, [laughs] “Oh haha your prom group is all-Asian.” And I said, “Why would you say that? And he was “Oh, I’m sorry; I don’t know why I said that.” And it’s so weird because he is Asian. I feel like something has been ingrained in our heads that it’s bad that ethnic groups hang out together and that we should all assimilate or

something. Yeah. My high school life was the first time I experienced a lot of racism. . . . The one that shocked me was when I was in gym class; I didn’t really have many friends in gym class, because it was mostly boys in gym class because the girls signed up for dance class. These guys were like “There is going to be a party at Mai’s house” and I was just laughing along and they said “Oh yeah, if you want to get in, you have to get your eyes fixed and bring your report card to get approved to get in.” And I was like “What?” I didn’t even realize and I didn’t tell the gym teacher because I didn’t realize that was racist.

Mai made a very distinct comment about when her peers made fun of her Asian prom group: “No one makes fun of all-Caucasian prom groups.” This demonstrated that Mai was critically

to the White majority in similar situations. Mai also wrote about this story the week before in her written reflection. She admitted that she was so shocked that she did not speak for the rest of the class period. It is an experience that stayed with her to that day. She wrote, “to this day I wish that I had informed the teacher.” In her interview, I probed a bit further.

Natasha: Is it just that it didn’t sit well with you? You didn’t know that was racism? What were you thinking in that moment?

Mai: When I first heard that, why would they have to bring their report card? Why would they have to get their eyes fixed? And I thought, oh, those are Asian stereotypes and then I was like that isn’t funny. And they were Caucasian boys. I think the very first time I experienced racism, though, was when I was in sixth grade, middle school. I was at a Caucasian girlfriend’s house. She went in to go to the bathroom and her brother came out and he said, “Why are you playing on our trampoline, go back to China, you chink.” I think at the time, I was like what is a chink? And he said it in such a mean way that I knew I should be hurt so I felt hurt even though I didn’t know what it meant and then when I got older I learned. . . .

Natasha: Yeah and it sounds like it stayed with you. . . .

Mai: That was the first time I heard someone say something so meanly and aggressively to me. At first I was not offended, I’m not Chinese but then I was like it doesn’t matter— he was directing it to me with hate and that was the thing that shocked me.

This, too, Mai had shared in her written reflections before bringing them up in the interview. In the interview, she explained her stories in greater detail, and I was able to probe how the experiences made her feel. Her racialized experiences may begin to explain why Mai surrounds

herself primarily with her racial group. To her, she had no reason to surround herself with the White majority, with whom she has had negative past experiences.

From this interview, it was evident that Mai had close ties to other Asians; attending prom with other Asian heritage peers in high school, starting a Korean club, and joining an Asian interest sorority in college. These all indicated that her culture played a major role in her identity formation.

Mai recognized that she had been, and at times still felt negativity towards Whites and she was hoping to open her mind to what they might have to say. Her comments showed the complexity of her racial understandings and attitudes. It was obvious that Mai thought very deeply about racial inequality and how she had been a target of racial insults as well as how she herself had biases against Whites.

Mai: Yes, my mom is from Korea. My dad is from Korea . . . they raised me with very Asian customs. Being very strict, not letting me go to sleepovers. I think the way I was raised definitely has to do with the person I am now. . . . Because I grew up in a place where my race was so apparent to me. I had, maybe not that I had no choice, but felt I had no choice but to be friends with the Asian people. It’s interesting, because when there were Asians who did become friends with White people, we would call them

whitewashed. I don’t know how I feel about that because sometimes I would talk with my sister, “Oh yeah that girl joined the PanHellenic sorority, she is so whitewashed,” and I kinda catch myself and I’m like, is something wrong with that? But I think it’s that I feel bitter that the girl assimilated and let go of her culture. I dunno, that makes me sound so mean but like . . . [laughs].

Mai: I get most angry when I see “whitewashed Asians.” I get most resentful that they have let go of their heritage.

Natasha: Do you think that’s because of how you were raised?

Mai I think it’s because I grew up with it and it’s such a part of me, my customs, eating