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Internet Email

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Chapter 9:  Internet Email

Having developed a shared vision and discussed their intentions for the birth in their own social circle, the couples started preparing together for the birth they had decided on. Most of the partners were very supportive. Some reported taking a preparatory class like hypnobirthing together with their wives/

girlfriends, or going with the women to a designated clinic for couples who are considering birth choices against medical advice, in order to get all the information available. Several couples discussed their intentions with an obstetrician at their local hospital, so there would be a record of the situation and their intentions in case they needed help during the birth:

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Another way to prepare for an unassisted childbirth was getting some selected tests, so the couple would not be surprised during the birth by, for example, twins:

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Some couples made extensive and well thought out plans together for what to do in case they came across certain complications during the birth, whereas others GHFLGHGGRLQJVRZRXOGRQO\EHFRPHDVHOIIXOÀOOLQJSURSKHF\

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Most of the partners report writing an extensive birth plan together, often concerning intentions for a water birth. In a few cases, the unavailability of the option for a water birth in regular care was part of the process that led to the decision to choose home birth:

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births, and their regular community midwives were unwilling to attend a high ULVNELUWKDWKRPH+DYLQJWRÀQGDQHZSURYLGHUVRPHWLPHVLQWKHÀQDOVWDJHV

of pregnancy, was a source of stress for the partners and their wives/girlfriends.

The few midwives that were willing to attend such births were few and far between, meaning that travel distances could be further than couples would have liked:

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In cases of intended unassisted childbirth, partners reported that they chose this option because the couple did not see a great deal of use for a midwife, other than just to be there in case problems arose during the birth:

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Finally, partners spoke of what they believed their own role during the birth should be. Several partners stated that they felt the role of the partner during both pregnancy and birth should be much larger than it currently is:

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The partners wanted to be involved and felt that they should be both constant companion and defender of the woman, and help her get through the birth from VWDUWWRÀQLVKGRLQJLWWRJHWKHU

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midwife. They felt that they should also have a larger role during the birth itself, helping and supporting their wife in giving birth in the way that she wanted.

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