CAPÍTULO 2. SU DOLOR DE CABEZA: LA TRINIDAD
2.1. Jesús ¿Un dios, ángel o Dios?
On the Road
This is a
This is a selection of ideas and tips learnedselection of ideas and tips learned from many years traveling to
from many years traveling to and fromand from shows.
shows.
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• Vaseline on your teeth makes your smileVaseline on your teeth makes your smile a lot
a lot nicer. nicer. This is This is an old an old beauty contestantbeauty contestant secret.
secret.
•
• Another beauty secret is if your hairAnother beauty secret is if your hair becomes greasy or sw
becomes greasy or sweatyeaty, a little baby, a little baby powder combed thr
powder combed through can make a biough can make a big differenceg difference..
•
• Armor-AllArmor-All (TM) can be p (TM) can be purchased in urchased in small packets. small packets. The packetThe packet contains a small sponge soa
contains a small sponge soaked in the substance. ked in the substance. TToss a couple in youross a couple in your car or your case to
car or your case to give your shoes a quick shin give your shoes a quick shinee..
•
• WWalking around up close, your shoes are alking around up close, your shoes are hard to see. hard to see. But on But on a stage,a stage, even a six-inch riser
even a six-inch riser, they become easily , they become easily visible. visible. A lot of folks in tA lot of folks in thehe corporate arena are very detail-sensitive and still judge a person by their corporate arena are very detail-sensitive and still judge a person by their shoes!
shoes!
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• On the subject of being judged by appearances, be sure to On the subject of being judged by appearances, be sure to select aselect a quality paper for y
quality paper for your business card. our business card. I’ve seen a lot of I’ve seen a lot of impressivelyimpressively designed cards spoiled by being printed on cheap paper.
designed cards spoiled by being printed on cheap paper.
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• Re-sew all your shirRe-sew all your shirt buttons with dentt buttons with dental floss. al floss. There is nothing mThere is nothing moreore anxiety-provo
anxiety-provoking than to king than to have a shirt have a shirt button come unraveled onebutton come unraveled one minute before show ti
minute before show time. me. Sometimes, evSometimes, even very expensive shiren very expensive shirts havets have
the buttons sewn on in that
the buttons sewn on in that manner that one good tug will unravel themanner that one good tug will unravel the thread.
thread.
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• Always carry wAlways carry with you a pharmacopoeith you a pharmacopoeia. ia. Include aspirin, Include aspirin, decongestant,decongestant, antacid, anti histamine, band aids,
antacid, anti histamine, band aids, mouthwash, a hairbrush, shampoo,mouthwash, a hairbrush, shampoo, deodorant, a candy bar, Pepto-Bismol, Kaopectate, soap, lotion, a razor deodorant, a candy bar, Pepto-Bismol, Kaopectate, soap, lotion, a razor and a
and a toothbrustoothbrush. h. YYou never ou never know....know....
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• While you're at it, always While you're at it, always have a repair kit have a repair kit nearby. nearby. It should contain aIt should contain a razor blade or sharp cutter, glue, stapler, needle and thread, tape, small razor blade or sharp cutter, glue, stapler, needle and thread, tape, small tools, and anything else you may need to make a
tools, and anything else you may need to make a quick repair to yourquick repair to your equipment before the show.
equipment before the show. In fact, once In fact, once when my zipper broke when my zipper broke manymany miles from home, I stapled that sucker shut and went on
miles from home, I stapled that sucker shut and went on with the show!with the show!
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• Never drive to the sh Never drive to the show in your perfoow in your performing attire, rming attire, but never arrive at but never arrive at thethe show in your street
show in your street clothes. clothes. Dress in the lobbDress in the lobby restroom, or stoy restroom, or stop at ap at a quickie mart a couple of blocks away from the performance to change.
quickie mart a couple of blocks away from the performance to change.
Road-weary clothes are not very flattering!
Road-weary clothes are not very flattering!
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• You must decide whether or not you're comfortable eating dinner withYou must decide whether or not you're comfortable eating dinner with your clients.
your clients. My attitude has alwaMy attitude has always been if you act liys been if you act like a guest, you’llke a guest, you’ll be treated as a guest.
be treated as a guest. Also, food in thAlso, food in the stomach pushes on te stomach pushes on thehe diaphragm and crea
diaphragm and creates mucus in the throtes mucus in the throat. at. Either of these condEither of these conditionsitions can effect yo
can effect your voice. ur voice. Coffee, tea, Coffee, tea, and milk will prand milk will produce mucus as well.oduce mucus as well.
Caffeine makes you
Caffeine makes you jittery. jittery. Drink lukewarm water Drink lukewarm water to keep to keep your throatyour throat warm and wet.
warm and wet.
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• If you're working with a spot, have the house lights on and request If you're working with a spot, have the house lights on and request thethe spotlight to be on to
spotlight to be on to full aperture. full aperture. Never use a traveling Never use a traveling spot light-it justspot light-it just isn't practical for a mentalism show.
isn't practical for a mentalism show.
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• Always provide your own PAlways provide your own P. A. . A. I cannot stress this point stronglyI cannot stress this point strongly enough.
enough. In 1996 dollaIn 1996 dollars, you can tool urs, you can tool up pretty professionp pretty professionally forally for around $600.
around $600. I suggest a high quI suggest a high quality hand-held ality hand-held wireless microphonwireless microphone,e, and sundry attachments and adapters in case you want to run your and sundry attachments and adapters in case you want to run your system through the
system through the house sound. house sound. Also use a mike stand wAlso use a mike stand with a quick-ith a quick-release clip.
release clip.
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• Remember that aRemember that a podium podium is a is a raised stage. raised stage. That thing That thing that lecturerthat lecturerss stand behind is called a
stand behind is called a lectern.lectern.
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• Many country clubs and hotels have speakers mounted in the ceiling,Many country clubs and hotels have speakers mounted in the ceiling, and I take advantage o
and I take advantage of this whenever pf this whenever possible. ossible. I also have my I also have my ownown amplifie
amplifier and speakers with me in the r and speakers with me in the car in case I car in case I need them. need them. YYou’d beou’d be amazed at some of the crap I’ve been handed in the past as “good P. A.”
amazed at some of the crap I’ve been handed in the past as “good P. A.”
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• If you're qualified to do so, dismantle your speakers and check all theIf you're qualified to do so, dismantle your speakers and check all the connections.
connections. Re-solder Re-solder those that those that seem weak seem weak to yto you. ou. This wThis will spareill spare you grief later o
you grief later on. n. A speaker going deA speaker going dead on you in the miad on you in the middle of yourddle of your show is no fun!
show is no fun! I simply don’I simply don’t want to worry t want to worry about anything duabout anything during thering the show except entertainin
show except entertaining the crowd. g the crowd. If you're not qIf you're not qualified to do thiualified to do thiss check up yourself, pay a
check up yourself, pay a pro to pro to do it. do it. It’s It’s money well spent.money well spent.
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• When performingWhen performing NumerologyNumerology readings at Psychic Fairs or other high- readings at Psychic Fairs or other high-volume events, it’s helpful to use a s
volume events, it’s helpful to use a special calculator to convert thepecial calculator to convert the names into numbers.
names into numbers. Simply write inSimply write in, with a razor p, with a razor point pen, the lettersoint pen, the letters associa
associated with each ted with each number on number on the number pad. the number pad. Then it’Then it’s a s a simplesimple matter to make the addition simply by spelling the name with the matter to make the addition simply by spelling the name with the keypad.
keypad. Saves some Saves some brain cramping brain cramping and and inaccuracinaccuracyy..
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• And finallyAnd finally, take a , take a couple of minutes before each couple of minutes before each show to get yourselfshow to get yourself focused.
focused. Imagine enerImagine energy streaming in tgy streaming in the top of your hhe top of your head, imagineead, imagine extending roots into the
extending roots into the earth, and embrace the entire crowd with earth, and embrace the entire crowd with youryour aura.
aura. Be Be focused!focused!
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I'll now discus a
I'll now discus a topic that you simply won’tt believe I'm even topic that you simply won’tt believe I'm even broaching.broaching.
Using the restroom.
Using the restroom.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to let anyone see you using the bathroom.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to let anyone see you using the bathroom.
Period.
Period. YYou're a ou're a Magickal person; you're Magickal person; you're above such above such mundane things. mundane things. It It justjust seems to me a
seems to me a very image-shattevery image-shattering thing to have someone come into thering thing to have someone come into the restroom and see the performer on the throne with his pants around his knees!
restroom and see the performer on the throne with his pants around his knees!
All right, I'll tell you
All right, I'll tell you the storythe story. . I thought I I thought I would take would take this one to this one to my grave.my grave.
Once I was performing my Psychic show out of town for a Christmas party.
Once I was performing my Psychic show out of town for a Christmas party.
The catch was this:
The catch was this: I was in the midI was in the middle of a bout widle of a bout with the flu, and it had th the flu, and it had reachedreached the point of progr
the point of progression where it had inession where it had invaded my intestivaded my intestines and parts south. nes and parts south. I hadI had a fever, bowel cramps, explosive gas, diarrhea, and chills.
a fever, bowel cramps, explosive gas, diarrhea, and chills.
The show must go
The show must go on, right? on, right? Performing for a Performing for a living is great 90% living is great 90% of theof the time.
time. But there are no sick days wBut there are no sick days when you have a chen you have a contract to honor and ontract to honor and anan audience waiting to see you.
audience waiting to see you.
So I'm in the
So I'm in the restroom, about thirty minutes before showtime, the rumblingsrestroom, about thirty minutes before showtime, the rumblings and other explosive sounds from my
and other explosive sounds from my poor gastrointestinal system, mixed with mypoor gastrointestinal system, mixed with my groans and gasps, made f
groans and gasps, made for a horrifyior a horrifying audio experience. ng audio experience. I was aware thatI was aware that several gentlemen had entered the
several gentlemen had entered the facilities, gone about their relatively quietfacilities, gone about their relatively quiet business, and left, b
business, and left, but, in my miseryut, in my misery, I really didn, I really didn't care!'t care!
Comes the showtime, and
Comes the showtime, and I'm knockin' I'm knockin' em dead. em dead. There are plenty oThere are plenty of laughsf laughs in my show, and I encourage audience participation.
in my show, and I encourage audience participation.
One guy says:
One guy says: “All this s“All this spectacular mind control, you'd think he'd be ablepectacular mind control, you'd think he'd be able to control his BOWELS!
to control his BOWELS! YYou should have heard him ou should have heard him in the bathroom an in the bathroom an hourhour ago!
ago! God, I God, I thought thought he was he was DYIN'”DYIN'”
Its best to draw the
Its best to draw the curtain of discreticurtain of discretion over certain scenarion over certain scenarios. os. I believeI believe this is one of them.
this is one of them.