Juegos con interacción entre autoridades

The establishment of the holding environment began in the first session, with Richard’s confident, reassuring manner appearing to put everyone at ease. Those I spoke to said they felt Richard was ‘a safe pair of hands’. The holding environment was soon

strengthened and maintained by the participants, who fostered a general atmosphere of trust and camaraderie conducive to openness (Boyd, 1991, p. 205).

One of the co-designers stated her assumption that because most of the participants were familiar with Mythodrama they would be able to handle whatever came up and hold the group between themselves. Only one of the three co-designers I spoke with had considered her role to be responsible for establishing and maintaining the holding environment. Richard, with his long association with therapy and personal development was keenly aware of his responsibility for maintaining a safe container. Despite this, the integrity of the container seemed to weaken at a certain point when some of the participants, myself included, struggled with difficult material that the story and

activities brought up for them, which was not addressed, or perhaps went unnoticed by the facilitators. This aspect of the programme was not mentioned by any of the

participants I conversed with after the programme, perhaps indicating that they were aware the programme might prove challenging in places and were prepared for and accepting of it.

I include the section below from my field journal because it illustrates that the process was at times challenging. It had become apparent that the group was, in some sense, living the myth. Our immersion in the mythos appeared to have an energetic effect on the group. Some mentioned poor sleep, vivid dreams, mental disquiet, disturbing emotions, and deep-seated patterns of behaviour being triggered by the themes and activities. A series of seemingly unrelated questions the previous afternoon had

culminated in a ritual. Some, including me, had found the questions confusing, and did not understand the aim of the exercise. The ritual had left me feeling defensive and unsupported, and another participant feeling “defiant”.

From my field journal: morning check-in on Wednesday 17th_:

“Some participants voice their frustration at the myth, and there is some consternation as to where and when the so-called ‘feminine wisdom’ might be found. Three of us voice that we did not find the ritual yesterday helpful and were struggling to understand the point of it, but someone else said she found itl very useful because her responses to the questions in the various activities leading up to the ritual were related, and gradually became condensed as the ritual

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progressed, making absolute sense to her. One participant noted she had experienced difficulty in fully immersing in the ritual, remarking that she had pulled herself up and made the effort to let go and trust that there was something to be learned here.

Richard urges us to stick with it, to trust the story, to live through it. He assures us that the sensemaking will come later. Reflecting on his words, I realise that my feelings of despondency and very low energy are probably indicators that I am in the story with Psyche, am feeling as she might have felt at this stage. Richard reminds us that Psyche is in a place of extreme vulnerability right now, and I realise that the negativity and defensiveness I felt at the end of yesterday stemmed from feeling vulnerable myself.”

It was perhaps no coincidence that Psyche too, was feeling alone and unsupported, with nowhere or no one to trust or to turn to at that point. My conscious or ego-self experienced it as doubt in the design of the programme and negative feelings towards the quality of facilitation. Because I felt vulnerable and unsupported my defences went up, and I took myself into a place of greater safety and certainty with a familiar pattern of behaviour as my cynic came to the fore and took over to protect me. It was not until later, in quiet contemplation, that I was able to get from out of the grip of my initial emotional reaction and use those emotions as a vehicle to examine memories, associations, and images that helped me get to the heart of my reaction. As Dirkx (2001) points out, emotionally charged images tend to appear spontaneously within the learning process. These images invite us, he says, to explore realms not usually available to our every day consciousness. Dirkx suggests that it is an "engagement with soul" (2001, p. 69), which he describes as a "deep, emotional and spiritual connection between our inner lives and some aspect of our outer experience" (2001, p. 69). Dirkx (2001) maintains that we are more able to engage with these images if we "relax" the ego, which suggests to me that when the participatory aspects of the psyche are active this loosening of the ego can occur. Perhaps this is why the strength of the holding environment and sense of communitas within a group is conducive to this kind of learning. I reflected that perhaps I was thrown into individuating aspects of psychic functioning (Heron J. , 1992) when I felt unsafe, when negative emotions caused my defences to rise. I speculate that the level of vulnerability needed to fully engage in a programme like this means that if one’s sense of safety is diminished one reverts rapidly from participatory to individuating aspects as the ego ‘tenses’.

Boyd observed that when one has, what he terms as a “psychic dilemma” (1991, p. 179), one can experience a draining away of psychic energy. Psychic material from my past, embedded in painful memories, had surfaced, and I had questioned whether this was an appropriate environment to allow them in. Others appeared to be struggling with their own issues. It may have been useful to have some space for the group to address what was going on in a structured way, because there was an opportunity for

supported learning to take place. Dirkx (2006) suggests that by consciously realising what is going on and choosing to work with it, we may gain insights into the self which revitalise us.

This time seemed to be the point of the lowest energy for the group as a whole, although it may not have been for individual participants. It was a phase in the

Rachel Lovie May 2017 133 programme where participants were likely to surface difficult psychic material. Emotive psychic images and possible negative thoughts and projections could close a person down if they are not examined, understood, and worked through. As Boyd cautions, “Identification of and working on psychic dilemmas requires a supportive structure, a setting in which an individual feels safe and secure to engage in this difficult work.” (Boyd, 1991, p. 181). To create and maintain safety whilst also generating the

uncertainty needed in a learning environment full of potentialities is no easy task. In this instance, although the container was established quickly and soon reached a seemingly high level of safety, at times when everyone seemed busy with their own journeys and facilitators were unavailable, one or two of us were left feeling

unsupported.

My confidence and energy was restored on Wednesday morning, coinciding with an upturn in Psyche’s fortune in the myth. There was a palpable upward turn in the group’s energy from that point on which was remarked upon by others.

Therapy, non-therapy, or simply learning in affective and