Confirmation of the proposal. As social structures became more complex, it was no longer possible to make a decision of the marriage immediately at the proposal, but the betrothal took place in a separately organized special occasion, kihlajaiset [betrothal, engagement party]. With the transition to landed peas-ant culture, it became more and more importpeas-ant to find facts about the groom‟s and bride's houses and their personal qualities, above all their capability for work. The bride visited the groom‟s house with her father or revered relatives to „survey the house‟ [kodinkatsojaiset], or to „decide the place for her spinning wheel‟]. During the visit they inspected the fields, cattle and other housekeeping details. Kodinkatsojaiset might have taken two or three days among landed peasantry, and negotiations would be conducted about the wedding day, gifts the bride would give the groom‟s relatives, or other practical matters.
In the landed peasantry culture era, the young couple‟s parents may have held many negotiations before the final betrothal. Particularly in the Savo and Karelia area of agrarianized kinship weddings, the groom‟s father made several trips to the bride‟s home [liitoilla; „at union-making‟], or to confirm that the proposal was still in force. In Karelia, girls began to accept betrothal gifts from several boys, even competing with their number, and in some areas such as the Isthmus, the marriage was only deemed to be certain when the wedding day was set.
When young people began to select their spouses themselves, the boy‟s family wanted to know what the bride was like and how she would cope with the duties of the mistress of the house. In central and northern Ostrobothnia and in the Kymijoki valley, the bride spent a week‟s trial period at the groom‟s house, morsius-, kelpaus- or housuviikko [bridal, acceptance, or trousers week], during which she had to
prove her skills at all the tasks required of women, one of them being making a pair of trousers for the groom. The girl‟s character may also have been tested in many ways during the bridal week.(1
The betrothal celebration was significant in many ways in 19th century society. The betrothal feasts of eastern Finland and Karelia confirmed the negotiations between the kinship groups. In the village wed-ding area of western Finland, a public betrothal was necessary because large wedwed-ding feasts necessi-tated a great deal of preparation; in any case, the Christian view was that a year was a respectable pe-riod for an engagement. During the engagement, the bride had to do her bridal collecting and prepare her trousseau and gifts for her new relatives. In Ostrobothnia and other areas of western and southern Finland, the young couple‟s intention to marry was made public at the betrothal feast. The celebration was the conclusion of courtship, and during it the engaged couple was detached from the village youth;
an engaged „established couple‟ was no longer subject to the same rules of courtship and morality as other young people (map 37).
Official betrothal celebration. In medieval Scandinavia and evidently also in the Roman Catholic Finland of the time, the betrothal celebration was equivalent to the later Lutheran wedding. It is based on the ancient Scandinavian, perhaps even early German, marriage conventions, consisting of a public giving away of the bride, escorting to the wedding bed and drinking of the huomenlahja (Sw.
morgongåva) for the gift the husband promised his wife on the morning after the wedding night. After the father had given away his daughter to the groom, the engaged couple went to the church to be wed; the ceremony followed the same formula as the acceptance into the church of a woman who had given birth.
The betrothed couple stood at the church door, where the priest put to them the questions of the wedding order, and having pronounced them husband and wife, led the couple inside the church. Then followed the wedding mass at the altar.(2
Medieval customs were observed in southern Finland right up to the 19th century.(3 The betrothal was celebrated at the bride‟s home with a feast similar to a wedding, with all the groom‟s relatives invited.
The guests arrived at the girl‟s home in a festive procession led by the spokesman, in the same way as in weddings (map 18). During the occasion, the young couple intending to marry were betrothed in front of the guests, and the bride‟s father gave his daughter to the groom by escorting her to him. The young couple confirmed their betrothal by a striking of hands, after which the priest gave them a blessing.
In southern Savo, the Karelian Isthmus and Ingria, both customs of the kinship community and medie-val times were retained in parallel. At the betrothal, the groom and his kin had to pay head money for the bride. Without payment of head money, however small, the giving away was not considered legal. It was also customary for the families of the groom and bride to exchange gifts at the betrothal; for example, the spokesman might distribute cash in a certain order to all the bride's relatives, and the bride gave presents of clothing in return to the groom‟s kin. Some old descriptions claim that on the Isthmus, the groom and bride struck hands over a cowlstaff held by the bride‟s father at one end and the spokesman at the other, between the betrothed couple. After this, the groom paid the head money and gave his bride his betrothal gifts. The striking of hands may have been performed in the main hall of the farmhouse under the ridge beam, or at the joint of the floorboards.
Special local flavour was at the tupakaiset [smokers] of the Isthmus and Ingria, named after the almost ritualistic tobacco smoking. The villagers gathered for the smokers without being invited. Tea, coffee or other refreshments were provided, but tobacco in particular was provided for the occasion and put on tables in all rooms. Both men and women, even children, smoked the tobacco, took it as snuff, or chewed it. The men sat in their own group usually in the parlour, the women in the tupa or kitchen hall. On the Isthmus, proposal, betrothal and banns smokers followed the same formula. They had evolved within the
area influenced by the city of St Petersburg, and showed the prosperity brought by rural trade. Russian manufactured tobacco, coffee, tea, Vyborg bagels and other shop goods created new social forms of consumption on the Isthmus.
Official medieval or Germanic-type betrothals with giving-away ceremonies were held above all among the landed peasantry of southern and western Finland and in Swedish-speaking regions. Elsewhere, the betrothal has been a similar congratulatory celebration as the banns dances (map 15), and in time they became parting feasts among the young. As well as relatives, the young couple‟s peers and childhood friends were invited to the betrothal; in many places, the village young could come to the dance without an invitation. Especially in Ostrobothnia, the betrothal has been a parting occasion, where the betrothed couple was expected to provide their peers with „parting fare‟; some small party food was expected of the bride and shots of liquor from the groom.
Names of betrothal feasts. Old kinship society customs are reflected in the names of betrothal celebrations. The Germanic-rooted kihlajaiset (from gisla, 'pawn') has become a general term known in all areas where the celebration of betrothals has become customary.(4 The western term naittajaiset, derived from the verb naittaa, 'to marry off', evidently refers to the medieval meaning of the betrothal and giving away of the bride by a legal marriage broker. Kättäjäiset (from käsi, ‟hand‟) originates from the striking of hands between the betrothed couple or representatives of the families. The terms naittajaiset and kättäjäiset, referring to medieval betrothal customs, would appear to have spread as far as South Savo.
In eastern and northern Finland, the betrothal has been called by the same names as the proposal. In the Kymijoki river valley, also part of the Karelian culture circle at one time, the betrothal feast was called kosiaiset [proposals], in the Savonian culture area of central Ostrobothnia (Kalajoki river valley) kysyjäiset [askings]; it was the occasion where the boy 'officially' asked the girl's father for her hand. New names were tupakaiset (smokers) of the Isthmus and kratulit (Swedish gratulera ‟to congratulate‟) which spread to northern Ostrobothnia and Kainuu, and which further south referred to the celebration of the banns (map 15). In the north, betrothal celebrations have been part of the new congratulatory tradition and young people's separation dances.
In agrarianizing Ladoga Karelia and Olonets, the adopted term lujuset (lujittaa ‟strengthen‟) means the strengthening and keeping in force of the proposal. In more southern Karelia, lujuset has referred to the groom‟s or spokesman‟s visits to the girl‟s home to discuss the betrothal and wedding celebrations. The same meaning in Savo and South Karelia has had the term liitoilla käynti and in Dvina kostintsoilla käynti.
Such visits to the bride‟s home were made by the groom‟s father and mother or the spokesman to agree on the details of the wedding, and to take the bride a pair of wedding shoes and other gifts from his kin.
Betrothal money. Within kinship culture, the bride‟s parents were paid a giving-away fee at the time of the striking of hands or the betrothal, and a guarantee payment, or kihla in the original meaning of the word, was decided. When marriage became increasingly a mutual union between a man and a woman, the betrothal gifts became a pledge between the parties. The giving of betrothal gifts proved the boy‟s honorable intentions, but accepting them was also binding on the girl. If the engagement was broken, she had to return the gifts. Giving betrothal money to the girl became customary also in Karelia including Dvina, albeit with no clear distinction between betrothal money and head money. Evidently from this time dates the term rahominen [raha, ‟money‟] in the Karelian Isthmus and Ingria, used both for the proposal and betrothal.
As well as betrothal money, in the 19th century the girl was given a kerchief or silk and an engagement ring, as well as a necklace or brooch, the groom's wealth permitting. This custom also spread as far as Dvina Karelia. The term kihlat came to refer to the ring and silk kerchief, no longer cash. Gradually, the betrothal gifts became symbolic, and among the young themselves „marrying with money‟ came to mean the opposite of a „love match‟, and the giving of cash to the girl generally deplorable.
The statistics shown on the map (block diagrams) show that cash betrothal gifts were still common in the landed peasantry culture of the late 19th century, with the exception of the westernmost areas. The betrothal money still held a social message. It was proof of the seriousness of the proposal and the groom‟s prosperity, but also of the girl‟s status in her community. The engagement ring dates back to medieval betrothals or weddings. In the Middle Ages, the exchange of rings as a symbol of an eternal union was used at least among upper social classes, but there is no accurate information on the spread of engagement or wedding rings to the peasant population. The betrothal silk and ring have probably become common in the 1800s, but in many parts of eastern and northern Finland only in the early 1900s.
1. Heikinmäki 1981, 117-. 2. Wikman 1959. Heikinmäki 1981,129-. Carlsson 1965; 1969. Jacobson 1967. Bringéus 1987, 79-. Bondeson 1988, 21-. 3. Sarmela 1969, 91-. 4. Seppo 1960.