When thoughts about your ex pop into your head, put them away until later, until you’ve scheduled in some ETT. So, if today’s Monday, then tell yourself you’re not allowed to think about the ex till Wednesday at 5 pm.
Most likely, when Wednesday rolls around you’ll have forgotten all about the scheduled arrangement. This is good.
Now try extending that time to four days. Tell yourself that any thoughts about him that pop up have to wait until the weekend. Continue with this approach until you’re in the habit of pushing thoughts about your ex out of your head the instant they appear, so they no longer infi ltrate your mind and prevent you from concentrating on anything else.
Days 4–7: Start the process of physically deleting your ex from your world
This is the tough part, but it needs to be carried out stringently if you’re going to get your ex out of your life for good. This means throwing out everything that reminds you of how things were. They are no longer that way. Nor will they ever be again. Let that thought sink into your mind over the next few days as you start the process of ex de-cluttering.
Of course, if you dated for more than a nanosecond, then everything in your life is going to act as a constant reminder of him. It could be that you bonked on every
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piece of furniture in your apartment, or you’re literally surrounded by photos, presents and his underwear. Not to mention the fact that he’s constantly with you every-where you go thanks to your beloved phone, which holds all his romantic texts, emails, tweets, Facebook updates and the most coveted piece of the entire puzzle:
his contact number. Yeouch. This is where things can get diffi cult, so let’s break it down:
• Delete his phone number AND all his text messages.
If you just can’t bring yourself to do this, then a temporary solution is to type them up on your computer, save the document with a password and put it away somewhere you won’t see it every day.
Out of sight means out of mind.
• Delete his email address and all the emails he’s ever sent you. If you can’t bear the thought of throwing them out for good, cut and paste them into a separate document and hide it away with the text messages fi le.
• Deleting him from your Facebook page means you’ll no longer know that he’s going out on dates, shagging his secretary or smiling in pics with leggy blondes. Yes, it’s tough but oh-so-necessary. Stop following him on Twitter. Quit stalking his website.
Delete him from your Myspace. And if you still can’t help yourself, ask a techno-savvy mate to block those websites from your browser.
• Take down all photographs around your home
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and box them up immediately. Remove pics of the two of you from your computer screensaver, your phone and your bedside table.
• Keep the Chanel handbag or the Tiffany bracelet for the day you’re truly over him, but all other presents need to be given away or sold on eBay.
Think of the profi ts as your detox reward!
• All those CDs or songs on your iPod that remind you of your ex—put them away in a box, delete them or save them for another time. You don’t want them in temptation’s way. Otherwise, you’re guaranteed to end up listening to them when you come home drunk and then you’ll be tempted to drunk-dial!
• Don’t continue to live together for any reason whatsoever. Your new number-one priority is either him getting out or you getting out. Do everything in your power to make that happen.
Student accommodation is always an option!
• No frantic dating! Your girlfriends, the gym and your beautician are going to become your social life for the next thirty days.
• Quit whining to your girlfriends about your ex.
The more you talk about him, the more he’s in your mind and the more you’ll be tempted to call, text or stalk him on Facebook.
• No frequenting the places where you and your ex used to hang out together. In fact, stay away from any place where there’s even the slightest possibility you might meet any man at all!
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• Focus on your health. People have a tendency to resort to self-destructive behaviour when they’re facing a diffi cult challenge. Hang out with people who are good infl uences, and do things that make you feel good the following day—not something that’ll give you the hangover from hell.