I was taken by the quotation below when I first read it. It resounded within me because it spoke truthfully and to the heart about what I struggle with and what I think all people struggle with, in our relationships. We wouldn’t admit it but how quickly do we undermine another person? If we don’t say it, it’s often thought about, particularly regarding people we’re threatened by.
Read this:
“If we find ourselves secretly rejoicing in the news of someone’s misfortune, we know we have some inner work to do. Somehow, that response suggests that we feel cheated in some way, perhaps because some expectations of life have gone unfulfilled. As we become aware of these inner reactions, we can also practice the inner generosity of wishing another well while refraining from any comment at all.”57
Let’s break this nugget of wisdom down... Rejoicing At Another’s Misfortune
57 P.E. Koptak, NIV Application Commentary: Proverbs, (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2003), p. 446.
Let’s be honest. It happens. It’s our nature to instinctively do this. It’s not even our fault. However, it does suggest the following;
It Indicates Some Inner Work Required
Whenever we bear ill toward another person it indicates we have some work to do within our heart specifically and generally – specifically regarding the actual person the ill will is directed to, and generally because we’re obviously capable of a recurrence in the future. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but we ought to work on it. Is it that we feel cheated in some way and/or our expectations have surpassed the reality of our actual position in life? Awareness
The biggest barrier to improving anything is a lack of awareness. If we’re aware of the issue then the only other thing that can get in the way is lack of will (or power of the mind) to actually do what you need to do, and do it often enough to create a good habit so we continue to do it. We must simply act on our awareness and do it over and over again by; Practicing Inner Generosity
Replacing bad habits with good habits is a key to behaviour modification. People who wish to give up smoking succeed better when they replace smoking with exercise which naturally releases endorphins -- the ‘feel good’ naturally-occurring human biochemical. It impacts on their self-esteem too. Likewise, the way to resist speaking or thinking wrong of people is to get generous -- act with generosity. Generosity has magic spiritual juice about it; it frees us. Practicing inner generosity is wishing another well.
Refraining From Any Comment At All
We always seem to want credit for our good thoughts and our good behaviours. When we’ve suddenly replaced ill will with generosity, we’ll be tempted to want or take some credit. The most honourable thing to do, however, is not make any comment at all -- let it go. We should reject the inner need for our ego’s to be stroked. If our positive act is recognised, merely a humble and real ‘thank you’ should suffice. Likewise, and especially, this means refraining from bemoaning the person.
We know we’re on the right track when we positively will not tolerate any bearing ill toward another. Awareness is piqued and we’re determined not to flay another soul. Perhaps it’s a pipedream to perfect this, but there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be our goal and ultimate aim.
Communications Bonanza – Keep It Brief
There are numerous advantages to keeping our communication brief and to the point. We’re beckoned to take counsel from the wise and watch closely what we say and how we say it. Brevity has both youth and power about it, and can assure us a mark of integrity of character we could only dream of.
James 3:1-12 is a self-contained essay noted for its brevity.58 In this way it is an ideal example of how speech should be: concise, packed with value, and full of information. The briefer the speech the less likely it’s going to waver in truth.59
James promotes brevity (Greek: brachylogia) of speech. Demetrius is said to have thought brevity has three advantageous qualities. Firstly, it packs a punch acknowledging that verboseness kills intensity of thought. Along with this power, much meaning is packed into succinctness. Secondly, it’s very appropriate in maxims and pithy sayings as its power is put to good use. Thirdly, succinct speech often allows the hearer opportunity to ask back questions for clarity due to a certain predictable ambiguity. This forces the hearer to think. “Brevity represents youth and power.”60 It cuts to the chase and addresses boredom and impatience in one foul swoop. It is also the sages of old -- the “professedly virtuous, who would treasure brachylogia as the ideal form of speech.”61
Johnson62 identifies the links between James 3:1-12 and Ecclesiastes 5:1-2, particularly “Never be rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be quick to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven, and you upon earth; therefore let your words be few.”63 Fear of God is the motivator for brevity in speaking.
58 L.T. Johnson, The Letter of James – The New Interpreter’s Bible, Vol. XII, (Nashville, Tennessee: Abingdon Press, 1998), p. 202.
59 B. Hybels, Making Life Work- Putting God’s Wisdom into Action, (Downers Grover, Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 1998), p. 88-97.
60 L.T. Johnson, Taciturnity and True Religion: James 1:26-27 in Brother of Jesus, Friend of God – Studies in the Letter of James, (Grand Rapids, Michigan: W.B. Eerdmans, 2004), p. 159.
61 L.T. Johnson, Ibid, Eerdmans, p. 159. 62 L.T. Johnson, Ibid, Eerdmans, p. 155-67. 63 Ecclesiastes 5:2 (NRSV).
“Quintilian declares that the ‘praise awarded to perfect brevity is well deserved.’”64 But in being so concise there is also a threat that one might come across as obscure. Be that as it may, Seneca says that speech should be unadorned, plain, controlled.65
There is also the moral issue of self-control. Seneca states that “Speech that runs too fast or too elaborately reveals a loss of self-control and with it, the loss of modesty... [therefore] I bid you be slow of speech.”66 Brevity has the Midas touch about it, preserving the character of the skilled whom use it; seemingly giving them the ability to turn their words into gold.
Silence, the ultimate in brevity, could take on a distinctly sacred flavour as Plutarch mentioned: “The solemn, holy, and mysterious character of silence.” He also said that “those who receive a royal and noble education ‘learn first to be silent, and then to speak.’”67 The wise therefore take on and master silence. “Silence is better than speech, that hearing, not speaking, is the pathway to wisdom, that speech when necessary should be brief, that above all speech should be under control and never the expression of rage or envy.”68 Sirach 5:13 says, “Honor and dishonor come from speaking, and the tongue of mortals may be their downfall.” We are urged to take this counsel!
Taciturnity (def: temperamentally disinclined to talk. [Merriam Webster]) is more than a matter of self-control. James shows us this when framing the command, “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger,” with exhortations of both creation and salvation, book-ending verses 1:19-20 with verses 18 and 21.69 James sees human anger and God’s justice diametrically opposed within the schemes of life and eternity. He also sees self-control underpinning the spiritual allegiances we have.70 But, taciturnity is for broad reasons, not the least of which an advocation of self-control.
Brevity: a lot is said in a “remarkably short span of statements.”71
64 L.T. Johnson, Ibid, Eerdmans, p. 158. 65 L.T. Johnson, Ibid, Eerdmans, p. 159.
66 L.T. Johnson, Ibid, Eerdmans, p. 160. The author cites pudor [40:13-14] as his source. It is suggested that Seneca translates aidos as pudor – “a strong emotion,” from F.S. Naiden, Ancient Supplication (United States: Oxford University Press, 2006), p. 274.
67 L.T. Johnson, Ibid, Eerdmans, p. 162. Both quotes feature on the same page.
68 L.T. Johnson, James – New Interpreter’s Bible: A Commentary in Twelve Volumes – Vol. XII, (Nashville, Tennessee: Abingdon Press, 1998), p. 203.
69 L.T. Johnson, Ibid, Eerdmans, p. 166. 70 L.T. Johnson, Ibid, Abingdon, p. 204.