Pr ´ oximos Pasos

A person who constantly touches you when he speaks displays insecurity as he seems unable to communicate unless he has your full and undivided attention. It often shows a lack of boundaries as well. Though it is considered annoying and offensive in Western culture, excessive touching when speaking to another person is the norm in other societies.

Usually when people tell you the truth, they show you the palms of their hands. Also, when a person is lying, you may see him suddenly cross his arms over his torso. This indicates that he is physically closing himself off to you.

Hand fidgeting or moving the fingers around when they are interlocked or facing the fingers of the other hand often indicates deception.

Also, people may deceive you by hiding their hands. They might roll them into a ball, thereby hiding their fingers. They may sit on their hands or put them fully in their pockets so you can’t see them. This is in contrast to people who have part of their hand or thumbs exposed in their pockets. If their hands are in their pockets and the thumbs are up, it shows confidence. If their thumbs are down, it shows insecurity.

If a person is not telling you the truth, she doesn’t have to hide or show excessive movement with her arms or hands. Instead, she may simply hold a pose and never deviate from that position.

She may hold on to her elbows or clasp her hands together without moving them. You often see muscle tension or pressure in the hands as they hold on tightly to themselves.

You may even see people holding on to a table or the sides of a chair to ground themselves as they spin their web of deception. The important thing to notice is that they do not move at all, and their unyielding rigidity is what gives them away.

If someone is feeling uncertain, she will have a tentative grip as she touches you. If it happens in your personal life, it means that the person isn’t sure how you will respond to her touching you or she is insecure, uncomfortable, or intimidated by you.

JWhen you see someone with a pleading hand gesture in which she shows you the backs, not the palms, of her hands, chances are she is not telling you the truth and is hiding something.

50 THE BODY LANGUAGE ADVANTAGE

AWhen people suddenly scratch their hands—either their palms or the back of their hands—there is a good chance that they are lying to you. This is because of the blood-flow changes that occur when a person lies;

the capillaries expand, which often creates an itching sensation.

AIt is not uncommon to see people hide their hands when they lie to you.

AWhen you see someone scratching his head or the back of his neck, it often means that he is feeling uncertain about something. Pay attention to the person’s face, which may exhibit a quizzical or confused expression.

52 THE BODY LANGUAGE ADVANTAGE

AIf someone gives you the “dead fish” handshake, it means that she is bored by you, doesn’t like you, or is feeling socially inept or insecure around you.

AA person will move his hands a great deal when feeling anxious, and he may not to stop until the anxiety is allayed. The muscles in his hands and arms will tense up. Often, you will see him continuously rubbing one hand over the other as though he is wringing out wet clothing. This behavior is a form of self-soothing that has a calming effect.

AYou may see a person who is anxious and worried cross her arms and rub each arm with the opposite hand. During times of stress and angst, the body temperature often drops, creating a sensation of coolness. This subconscious arm rubbing functions to warm the body during stressful periods, and it is also a form of self-soothing.

JEven if a person’s facial expression doesn’t look angry, when you see someone with a clenched fist, rest assured that she has hidden anger inside.

When a person is bored, he will make a number of varied hand movements. It is a subconscious way of creating activity in an attempt to keep himself occupied. You will see him literally twid-dling his thumbs and systematically roll one thumb over the other as he clasps his hands together. Abrupt changes in hand movements are also indicative of boredom. You may also see large, flailing arm movements, which suggest restlessness.

A handshake gives you clues about someone. If a person is worried or anxious, she may use a handshake that either feels stronger or is held longer than usual.

Self-mutilating behaviors such as finger biting, finger pulling, nail biting, and cuticle picking indicate anxiety. Sometimes creating physical pain redirects or helps assuage the emotional pain caused by anxiety.

In photos of celebrity “frenemies,” you’ll often see people smiling with clenched fists. It may seem as though the two people like each other and may even go so far as to hug. But the truth is revealed in their fists. It shows that there is anger and disdain underneath their phony smiles and superfi-cial gestures of friendship. If you are on the lookout for this gesture when you are around people you know socially or do business with, you will quickly discern who is friend and who is foe.

No matter what culture you are from, when someone points a finger at you, it is a hostile gesture.

The closer your index finger gets to the person, the greater the degree of anger, and the greater the likelihood of a physical altercation.

No matter what culture you are from,