“Belonging uncertainty” was experienced most fervently in the higher ranks of the educational ladder. As there are not a substantial amount of minority students in these ranks, minority status comes forth as a significant disadvantage. Yeliz, a 23 year-old student of pharmaceutics, said she had a very hard time as she felt marginalized as the only veiled woman and Turkish person, coupled with the unfortunate lack of friendships and feelings of solidarity among the students. She recounts times where she went home crying: “If it wasn’t for the support of my family, I could have left the degree. If you ask something about an exam, the classmates say: ‘You should have studied. I can’t tell you that’. It’s unbelievable how there is no solidarity.” Yeliz experienced “belonging uncertainty” intensely as she perceived her environment at the faculty as hostile and highly competitive and was disheartened with the lack of other Turks around.
Yeliz recalled an encounter with a professor:
There is in particular one professor who openly doesn’t like foreigners. Such a shame… I went to talk to him after an exam, and asked for a re-sit because he usually allows it. People say like “My grandmother passed away, so I could not perform” and things like that. I said to him “I will be honest with you. It went really bad, and I would like to try again.” His demeanour, the way he talked was so condescending. I tried to not take it personal, and just endure it. When I was leaving he said “If you had blue eyes, I could do something for you.” I left, and I couldn’t even realize at that point what he meant. Then I was telling all this to a friend and it dawned on me. You know Dutch people have blue eyes, and I don’t. It was just infuriating.
Yeliz argued that she encountered blatant discrimination due to being a foreigner and not having blue eyes. She recounted another instance with the same professor who scolded minority people when they were late for class, saying immigrants are always late and asking “Is your train coming from Morocco?” Although such incidents seriously undermined feelings of belonging, she made a conscious effort to brush them off: “I concentrated on my studies and tried not to think about anything else. My motivation was to show that as a Muslim, I could be successful too.”
Born and raised in the Netherlands, and educated at a Catholic school, later Yeliz finished high school in a boarding school in Turkey. She cherished this time spent in Turkey immensely: “Because there are mountains of differences between Turkish culture and the culture here, I did not want to come back from Turkey what so ever”. In the end, she was convinced by her teacher in Turkey that she would be better off with a Dutch university degree and returned. Yeliz had a tendency to praise Turkey. Yeliz was convinced that her solid cultural and moral
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framework was thanks to this time as a young adult, and reported feeling sorry for fellow Turkish-Dutch who did not have this experience and “did not know the right way of living”. The manner in which she alluded to the cultural differences between the two countries made apparent that Yeliz had little identification with the Netherlands, had a very high regard for Turkey and was strongly identified with her religious-Turkish background. For Yeliz, being a Muslim-Turk was highly salient and invested with much emotional meaning. What Yeliz lacks in the immediate context of her school, however, she develops in out of school relationships. All of her intimate friendships are with fellow Muslim Turks. She works as a volunteer tutor in a Turkish organization through which she has developed friendships with many Muslim-Turks which helps to develop a supportive social circle and intimate friendships, as such networks provide one with a positive view of one’s group.
Cemre, a 21-year-old student of law, is another respondent who experienced “belonging uncertainty” more acutely than others due to her unique status:
Initially I was not feeling different in school because of the veil. But later on I became a student at VWO, college prep school, which was the highest level I could go to. It is more special than other types of secondary schooling, much more difficult. So, there they would be quite surprised that a veiled girl made it there. It is as if you cannot be veiled and hardworking and bright at the same time. There, I was motivated to show people that I will be successful as a Muslim.
Cemre’s identity as a Muslim-Turk only became distinctive when she moved from a school with a high density of Turkish and other minorities to a majority Dutch school. The relative size of a minority group will influence the level of consciousness about their minority identity (Kinket and Verkuyten, 1997:342), so when she was in class with many other Turks and Moroccans, her identity as Muslim was not an issue. It only became so when Cemre became an exception in secondary school. Cemre resented being singled out due to her veil in her new school, especially because she lived in cosmopolitan Amsterdam where ethnic and religious diversity was widespread. Evidently, stereotypical perceptions regarding the veiled also extended to her academic capabilities, as her success was met with some surprise. Cemre said she felt the same thing continued in law school, but nevertheless she was determined to finish. She knew some veiled lawyers, one of them being her older sister. Her sister had been a practicing lawyer for the last five years and she was able to attend Dutch courts with no problems. Cemre said “perhaps it will be a bit more difficult, but it is not impossible to practice law as a veiled woman.”
The above shows that an extreme underrepresentation of minority students significantly raises feelings of “belonging uncertainty”. However, although both
Yeliz and Cemre felt acute “belonging uncertainty” in the higher tracks of schooling, where minority students were scarce, they managed not to give in to these feelings and worked diligently for success. While “belonging uncertainty” may undermine achievement and might be a cause of dropping out, the fact that Yeliz and Cemre were resilient in the face of the setbacks they encountered shows that it can also increase the fighting spirit and ambition among some. They both argued that “succeeding as a Muslim-Turk” motivated them in achieving academic success. Indeed, their sense of belonging to a religious and ethnic group with a strong sense of identity worked for them as a protective factor rendering them resilient against discrimination. They were able to negotiate the feelings of “belonging uncertainty” through their commitment and desire for success, but, as elsewhere in the women’s movement, the success of some does not mean there are not still many hindrances to many more women making it.