“A Kodak Moment… It’s Not a Pretty Picture”
GEARS October/November 2013 41
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Finally, they tried to prolong the life of the existing business model by attempting to create synergies between the new and the old.
In doing so, they kept delaying any serious commitment to addressing the new order of things.
The truth is it makes more sense to invest in developing and implementing new strategies that are based on meet- ing the needs and desires of customers by filling voids and tapping into new opportunities that are created by the changes.
In short, like it or not, the new gen- eration of customers, employees, and “customer-centric” entrepreneurs are “in charge.” Embrace the uncertainty and be prepared to be driven in unfore- seen directions. This is a far cry from spending your time, money, energy, and emotions fighting the tides of change. Instead, think about ways to harness the inherent energy and put it to work for you.
The important lessons are to avoid attachment to our past and to turn legacy beliefs onto new strategies. Let’s refrain from prolonging the life of “it’s
the way it’s always been” or trying to create false synergies between the old and the new. And, most of all, let’s base future new strategies around customers – being customer-centric rather than clinging to an existing business model.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Thom Tschetter
Has served our industry for more than three decades as a management and
sales educator. He owned a chain of award-winning transmission centers in
Washington State for over 25 years. In 1996 his business was honored as the
number 1 small business in the state and ranked in the top 10, nationally. He also has served the Better Business Bureau as a certified arbitrator for over 15 years and often uses that experience as topics for
this feature column.
42 GEARS October/November 2013
“I
can’t hear you!” exclaimedthe drill sergeant as the troops responded to his question. We had to yell our heads off to please the guy when he asked our platoon a ques- tion.
Whether you’ve been in the mili- tary or not, I’m sure you can identify with the above scenario. Someone asks the audience a question and then keeps asking until they scream the answer in unison. That may be a good way to loosen up an audience, but it’s certainly not effective in one-to-one conversa- tion.
Trouble is, many times our cus- tomers and coworkers “can’t hear” us either. It’s not that they miss the sounds we make; it’s just that they don’t get our meaning clearly. Just because you tell someone something, it doesn’t mean your job as a communicator is done: The job is only done when they understand what you were trying to say. Some folks just push the responsi- bility away and say, “I told you but you didn’t listen,” as if that somehow solves the problem.
When the student isn’t learning, the teacher isn’t teaching. Even if they’ve tried really hard to teach, they aren’t teaching.
The same is true for you and me. We need to transcend our own point of view and see the bigger picture. If they aren’t getting our meaning, then nobody’s advancing — not us and not them.
Sometimes, as in Star Trek, they’ve “got their shields up” and you aren’t getting through. How can you get through to them?
I once gave a communication skills seminar in a prison in New Hampshire to a group of inmates. As an illustration, I asked various inmates to “teach me how to smoke a cigarette.” One told me to put the cigarette in my mouth first.
So I did what he said: I put the entire cigarette inside my mouth.
Another said, “No, just put the end with the filter in your mouth.” So I broke off the filter and put it in my mouth. By that time they were frus- trated with my literal interpretation of their directions.
Then one inmate came forward and said, “Watch this.” He put a cigarette to his mouth, took out his lighter, lit the smoke, and took a drag from it. When he exhaled the smoke he looked at me and said, “Do that.” Then he sat down.
Point made, lesson learned. And his fellow inmates applauded him. So did I. Some things are best communi- cated through example.
When teaching a skill, show an example. Then observe as the person follows your instructions.
When explaining an idea, ask for feedback. “Does that make sense to you? How would you apply it?”
When communicating a feeling, be sure you have their full attention first. Saying “I’m sorry; I must’ve misunderstood what you wanted” is a nice sentiment, but, without their full attention, you’re just making sounds. Timing is sometimes as important as the message itself.
Imagine a customer comes to you with a complaint; he feels really frus- trated or suspects that you were ripping him off. If you interrupt him in the first few moments to say, “Sorry, I got it wrong. Now let’s correct it,” he may still have his shields up. So your apol- ogy bounces off. His emotions are in the way.
People have a need to vent first,
before they’re ready to listen. Let them talk a bit, and then politely interrupt with your apology or solution.
Everything we hear, see, or think is passed through our own beliefs and assumptions before it reaches our understanding. We filter our opinions and judgments about people by com- paring them with others we’ve known.
If your behavior is similar to some- one they don’t trust, then they won’t trust you. Likewise, if you behave in ways that indicate integrity and caring, then you’ll usually get past their filters.
Here’s a short formula you can use to get past the shields or filters that oth- ers put up in communication.
1. Listen — truly try to understand what they are saying or feeling. 2. Observe — notice when they
change body posture, indicating that they’re ready to listen to you. 3. Tell them what you have to say,
and use their own words, where appropriate, to prove that you heard them.
4. Ask for their opinion — “How does that sound to you? Would that make you feel more confident about this solution?”
5. Confirm that the problem is solved or the explanation is understood and accepted.
Got it? No? Well then you just weren’t listening to me. I’m going to tell you again… not! See what I mean? When I assume that I’m just fine and you’re the one with the communication problem, then I make things worse by judging you.
Instead, let me just offer my assis- tance. If you’d like a better explanation or more ideas, just write, call, or email me here at GEARS. I’m happy to assist you. Thanks for listening.