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Whilst all of the participants were able to describe what characterised a romantic relationship, many felt u su e ho to i itiate o pu sue o e a d felt u e tai a out ho se ual a ti ities e e do e . This resonates with previous findings within the field that ASD individuals have reduced socio-sexual knowledge (Henault & Attwood, 2006; Mehzabin & Stokes, 2011). However, these previous findings were focused just on sexual knowledge and whilst the authors suggested that this may have acted as a barrier to engaging within a sexual relationship (Mehzabin & Stokes, 2011), it was unclear how it

played a role. The findings from the current study thus give a greater insight into the impact of this la k of k o ledge, highlighti g ho it i pa ted o the pa ti ipa ts se se of self a d thei

confidence in pursuing a romantic and/or sexual relationship. For example, Ben reported that his uncertainty made him avoid relationships all together and Edward expressed how he had not pursued a sexual relationship because he did t k o too u h a out hat as legal a d so forth in relation to sex. This may give some insight into why a lack of sexual experience and knowledge has been associated with increased sexual anxiety for individuals with ASD (Byers et al., 2013). Given that romantic and sexual relationships were desired and considered important to nearly all participants, it is worthwhile to consider the reasons behind this lack of knowledge.

Brown (1999) and Connolly and Goldberg (1999), emphasise how norms and implicit rules about romantic and sexual relationships a e lea ed th ough diffe e t la e s of the i di idual s so ial world, such as friendships, family, and broader societal messages about love and gender roles for example. Gorgeon (2010) suggested that such rules are implicitly and innately learned by typically de elopi g i di iduals, usi g the te hidde u i ulu p. . I di iduals ith A“D a e thought to e pe ie e diffi ulties i lea i g su h u itte so ial ules a d ofte e ui e the to e explicitly taught (Baron-Cohen, 2003). Indeed some participants in the current study expressed an a a e ess of this. Da iel said: I do t lea thi gs i the sa e a as othe people, I eed thi gs gi e to e e pli itl . A lott highlighted that se edu atio is ot p o ided ithi a so ial skills o te t p. aki g it diffi ult fo A“D i di iduals to u de sta d the so ial a d elatio al context for sexual expressions and behaviour. The findings from the current study therefore strongly highlight the need for structured education, guidance and support around romantic and sexual relationships for individuals with ASD. Whilst this has been recommended elsewhere in the literature (Stokes et al., 2007; Mehzabin & Stokes, 2011; Hellemans et al., 2007), the focus has often been specifically on sex education or targeted at those who are school age.

Some participants also made inferences that perhaps they did not have a large group of friends, which suggests that they may have had fewer opportunities to learn and observe romantic

behaviours in others or to practice interpersonal skills. Furthermore, given that the peer group are also thought to provide opportunities to meet a romantic partner (Brown, 1999), this may also give some understanding as to why some felt unsure about where to meet someone; several participants expressed that places like bars and clubs were inaccessible because they did not have a group of friends to go with. These findings give some insight into why Stokes et al. (2007) found that ASD individuals who had less social contact, were also found to have fewer romantic relationship

experiences (Stokes et al., 2007). They also have important implications for how to facilitate greater social contact for ASD individuals in order to find ways of supporting them to meet potential

romantic interests in a way that they can feel safe and supported.

Many participants expressed a desire to know more about romantic relationships. There appeared to be a sense of wanting concrete rules and guidelines and therefore an explicit and clear

u de sta di g of ho o a ti elatio ships a d se ual i ti a o ked . This desi e fo e pli it rules might in part be explained by the difficulties that ASD individuals can experience with

ambiguity and uncertainty (Baron-Cohen, 2003). Howlin (2000) described how ASD individuals often impose structure and rules to situations as a way of making things more predictable.

The tendency for ASD individuals to impose structure and predictability may also offer some explanation as to why participants had looked to outside ideas such as stereotypes from films, or pe haps h Ga had eated a u e of ules a d he klists hi h he used he sea hi g fo a romantic partner. In fact for Gary, these rules may offer some insight into why he felt able to pursue a romantic relationship. It may be that this enabled him to navigate relationships in a less

ambiguous and predictable way in comparison to some other participants. These findings also resonate with some of the personal accounts in self-help books, su h as Luke Ja kso s i st u tio

a ual fo dati g Ja kso , . These i sights fu the ei fo e the eed fo edu atio a ou d romantic and sexual relationships for ASD individuals, helping them to find ways of making such relationships seem manageable and achievable. However, whilst there may be implicit general rules and norms about romantic relationships, these are not certainly not fixed, giving some explanation as to h Be e p essed e t e e a iet he thi ki g a out all of the diffe e t s e a ios . 453) that a relationship could bring. This therefore suggests that whilst education is needed, ASD individuals may also require support in finding ways to apply such rules in a flexible way, learning how these may vary between individuals and finding ways of managing and negotiating change within and between relationships.