The million- dollar question is: “When should I start my recovery?” You may have asked your- self this question many times. You may be in a cycle where there are days when you feel low, angry, or guilty, and days when you feel okay. On the days when you feel low, angry, or guilty, you may think to yourself, I should make a change here. Then that feeling fades, and you seem to get through the next day. What if you decided that no matter how you are feeling, you have enough informa- tion to make a change in your life? What if you decided that you want something different for yourself? Taking charge of your mental and physical health requires a commitment. You may have put family, friends, job, or school first for a long time, but now is the time to put yourself first.
In order to put yourself first in your recovery, take a look at the following “Wellness Script.” If you like this script, there are other resources you can use on a daily basis for encouragement. The
Mindful Woman: Gentle Practices for Restoring Calm, Finding Balance, and Opening Your Heart, by
Sue Patton Thoele (New Harbinger Publications, 2008) is a wonderful place to start. The “Wellness Script” is something you read to yourself. You can even read it out loud. After you read it, give yourself the gift of five minutes of silence.
Exercise 6.6 Wellness Script
Today, I will respect and nurture myself. I am of value. I give myself permission to be kind to myself. I am loved and protected. It takes courage to take care of myself first. I have that courage. I am worth it. Taking care of myself will allow me to show up for others. Taking care of myself will allow the feelings of anger, resentment, and hurt to melt away. After the feelings of anger, resentment, and hurt melt away, I am left with my true self. My true self requires attention and care. I have the ability to give myself what I need. And today, I need kindness. Being kind to myself flows into good mental and physical health. Good mental and physical health is available to me now. I am deserving of good mental and physical health. I make a commitment to be well. I feel the benefits of being well.
Another choice for inspiration is The Dalai Lama’s Little Book of Inner Peace (Hampton Roads Publishing 2009). Don’t forget to take a look at the resources for the Journey section at the end of this workbook.
Conclusion
The “Identify Addictions” worksheets have given you a quick and honest way to label your addic- tions. You may have checked more than one addictive substance and more than one troubling behavior. Now you have the chance to nurture your recovery with healthy coping. Stress and reac- tions to loss are common triggers for using alcohol or drugs and doing other addictive behaviors. The work you have done in this chapter on addiction has been very important on your recovery journey. You’ve now learned what an addiction really is and explored your own behavior in more detail. You’ve also explored how you can tend to switch from one addictive behavior to another. The time line of addiction was helpful in figuring out when the addictive behavior started. Armed with this information and the work you did in chapter 5, you are ready to connect your addictive behavior to past losses. In the next chapter, you will put the puzzle pieces together by connecting your losses to your addiction.
A Visit with the Gomez Family
Carmen and Tony use this chapter for an important task: accepting that their behaviors are, without a doubt, truly and absolutely addictive. In talking about this, they are able to admit to each other that each has had periods of questioning whether they are really addicted. Maybe it hasn’t been so bad. Maybe they can control themselves. But in learning more about addictive behaviors, Tony and Carmen both come to the conclusion that, yes, these
behaviors— drinking for Tony and compulsive shopping for Carmen— got out of control long ago. The “Checklists of Addiction Signs” make it clear that there are real consequences to these behaviors, and despite those consequences, they continued to hide from their feelings and thoughts by drinking or excessive shopping.
It is somewhat startling to fully face this fact. These are addictions. But there is some relief in it, too. They will be lying to themselves if they try to pretend that these addictive behaviors are ever going to get them where they want to go. Tony questioned whether his addiction to alcohol is really a disease or if he is just weak. He knows now that his drinking to escape is not weakness. Tony is beginning to understand himself and Carmen a lot better. After fully understanding what addiction really means in their lives, Tony and Carmen can truly embrace recovery and keep themselves on track.