You can speak your truth from the heart and stop being a victim of your emotions. Befriend yourself, learn to love yourself enough to stop replaying the same old
Uncovering Compassion
victim movies. Your inner security, your heart power, doesn’t need to be dependent on anyone else, on what they say or do or don’t do. Feeling misunderstood, taken advantage of, not getting the proper credit—those times in life when someone or something has done you wrong and you feel justified in getting out of your heart—can be summed up as “the poor me’s.” Science is proving daily that self-victimization really does affect health. In streetsense terms: People can jog five miles a day and seem in good health, but if they’re processing “poor me’s” over some problem while they jog, they are releasing debilitating hormones that deplete their immune system. You are the one victimizing yourself. “Poor me” mental processing can ruin your entire day.
Most people find their biggest unfulfillment is in the company of their own self. You can go on a vacation in the woods and just being with yourself can bring more feelings of unfulfillment than the job or home you wanted to escape. The real victimization is needing to have some- thing outside yourself for fulfillment, to fill the “hole in the soul.” That’s the root cause of all dependency and addiction, trying to fill that hole. Addiction doesn’t work. It only temporarily masks the pain and never fulfills that part of ourself. Addictions often cost people everything— family, job, home, self-respect. The pain finally gets too much to bear and the isolation too intense. It usually takes hitting bottom for people to reach out for help in recov- ery.
Empowerment
When a person starts in recovery, they often feel an uplift at first, like they’re floating on a pink cloud about to be rescued from all their despair and pain. Without learning to manage the self from the heart, the new high doesn’t last. People revert to self-abuse again. The real process of recovery would involve four stages. The first is admitting you’re in addiction. This requires self-hon- esty. The second would be uncovering what took you there. Many get stuck in a loop at this stage, identifying with the old hurts over and over again. You can never build self-esteem through constantly victimizing your- self with the old hurts. Be willing to cut your losses and self-empower here; then your third stage would be to recover to balance. Without balance you can’t enter the fourth stage: discovering your next level of fulfillment and fun and sharing that with others.
Many times you might feel despair about your re- covery process and wonder if returning to your addiction wouldn’t be better than experiencing the difficulties of your life. You might let your head run in its own loop about what is not right in your world, adding emotional intensity to your feelings of despair. You weigh out the pro’s and con’s of drinking or using something or some- one again. Then you judge yourself for even thinking about it and feel worse for not being “beyond this yet.” You become afraid and anxious that you may not be able to prevent yourself from a relapse.
Uncovering Compassion
This is one of those times to know there is a differ- ence between the head and the heart and to practice using heart power tools. Here are the steps. Recognize that you are in inefficient head loops and FREEZE-FRAME the thoughts of “lack” in your life. Activate compassion for yourself as someone who is trying hard to grow in your recovery. It helps to realize that everyone has some life geometry in which they too could use more heart em-
powerment. FREEZE-FRAME your head bands about the
details of your issue and go to the heart computer for a readout on which heart tools could best help. Then sin- cerely practice the tool your intuition gives you. Make an effort.
It’s important to appreciate yourself and your situ- ation, remembering that things could always be worse. Recognize that you are experiencing the effects of old patterns of thinking and feeling that drain your power. Keep Freeze-Framing these thoughts as they surface. These steps are all acts of loving yourself. Love, love, love yourself, but don’t turn around too quickly to see if the flower you’ve planted in your heart yesterday is grow- ing yet. Soon your heart intelligence will let you know what’s next for you to do. Talk to a friend to help you get a better perspective. Don’t be afraid. Your heart will tell you if what they say is right for you.
In the lower fourth dimension, people are recover- ing, slipping back and recovering. In the higher fourth and fifth dimensions people are discovering. Whatever
your grief, whatever your addiction, using the heart tools will give you the power to move from “always working it out” to “being there.” As you practice listening to and following your heart, your love will increase in qual- ity, and expectations and attachments will release bit by bit. Use the tool with the bottom line: just love. You know how good compassion feels when you re- ceive it from others. So give it. And don’t forget compassion for yourself.
Begin to perceive any problem as an untransformed opportunity for empowerment. Under- stand that you basically have two choices. One victimizes and ages you; the other empowers you. Soon you will find yourself helping others dissipate their stress through the heart—with a lot of compas- sion and understanding. In loving others, you help them bypass steps that you had to go through. You awaken your own heart bands and theirs. Everyone doesn’t have to go through all the same things. That’s what love is, making it easier for others. Watch the hidden power of the heart unfold in our social struc- tures over the next few years as more people catch on to its transforming quality and the opportunity now available.
The Power of Surrender