Every participant had family members as Friends, which included a mix of parents, siblings, aunties and uncles, cousins and ‗distant relatives‘. However, for some this was not through choice but rather an expectation that family should be Friends:
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“It‟s just an expected thing. I hate getting a request and having to say yes just because you‟re related” (Jessie)
“I once had a massive fall out with my cousin „cos I didn‟t accept her Friend request. We don‟t even like each other so I didn‟t understand why it was a big deal” (Lara)
Previous research has found that parents and older adults reflect the fastest growing new demographic to adopt and use Facebook (Facebook, 2012; Hampton et al, 2011; Lenhart, 2009; Nielson Company, 2011; Qualman, 2009). In this study, there were 12 participants who had their parents as Facebook Friends. Within discussions on the practicalities of having parents as Friends, some participants discussed their concerns, deeming it as an invasion of privacy. Discussions mainly centred on mums:
“I do have my mum as a friend but I don‟t want to. I kind of feel like she set up a Facebook when I was coming to university just so she could spy on me” (Lara) “I refused to accept my mum‟s request. I don‟t particularly want her to see stuff, not that I‟ve got anything to hide but it‟s the principle isn‟t it? She doesn‟t need to know what I‟m doing all the time anymore” (Paul)
These findings are in line with the suggestions of Child and Petronio (2011) that young adult Facebook users have the potential to feel vulnerable about the increased potential to encounter their parents on Facebook. As the above two quotes demonstrate, it is possible that young people feel that their parents may be using the site to ‗spy‘ on their activities. Having parents as Friends on Facebook can indeed trigger issues around privacy dilemmas as researchers have found in other contexts (e.g. Petronio and Jones, 2006; Pietroni, Jones and Morr, 2003). However, this is not the case for all young adults, as other students who took part in this research had a much more relaxed view about having their mum‘s as Friends:
“It doesn‟t bother me. My mum knows what I‟m like. She puts some daft stuff on hers that I don‟t think I should be seeing. I think she goes out more than me” (Adam)
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“I think it‟s a way that she can keep in touch with me without her having to ring to see if I‟m alright and that‟s the good thing about it” (Lucy)
6.8 Unfriending
The process of Unfriending (deleting someone as a Friend on Facebook) was something which was discussed by several participants:
“I have unfriended people before. Like this one guy just kept on posting vile stuff and his opinions and approaches to things like politics were just insulting. I didn‟t want someone like that as a Friend because I didn‟t want to be associated with him” (Alice) “I once unfriended someone „cos they kept on sending me proper inappropriate messages. Like really bad. I blocked them as well” (Olivia)
A few of the participants had also been on the receiving end of someone unfriending them:
“I got unfriended a few weeks ago. I‟m not actually sure why they did it. It was a bit awkward afterwards seeing them „cos it was like we‟ve not fell out but you‟ve unfriended me. Awkward” (Greg)
There were three participants who discussed how they at some stage had a ‗cull‘ in order to purposely reduce the number of people they had as Friends:
“I have quite regular culls. It‟s a good way of keeping on top of it otherwise you just end up with too many people and it‟s stupid” (Dean)
“I like to be quite careful who I leave on as a Friend so every now and again I go through my Friends list and get rid of people who I‟m not bothered if I have as a Friend or not. You know, they can see everything you post and if you don‟t really know them or talk to them I‟m the kind of person who doesn‟t want them to be able to keep up to date with what‟s happening in my life” (Bethany)
91 6.9 Changes in Use of the Site
There was consensus among the interviewees that they were using Facebook in a different way to when they first joined the sites:
“I think I used to add more people as Friends when I was young. Like the more Friends the better. Now it‟s the fewer the Friends the better *laughs*” (Rachel) “I used to post a lot more personal stuff. There‟s no way I‟d post half the stuff I did a couple of year ago now” (Elvis)
Several participants noted how they had started using Facebook chat messenger more regularly than directly ‗posting‘ on their Friends Facebook ‗walls‘. It was also common for participants to make distinctions about conversations they had on social media publicly and privately:
“There‟s stuff that you just don‟t put up there. If you‟re going to have an argument, then do it in private” (Trev)
“I like my privacy. I know social media sort of makes that a bit impossible because it's designed for you to share stuff about your life everyone but I like to be careful. There‟s a medium for every conversation. Personal things should be kept out of public view” (Lauren)