Self-acceptance is defined as tolerating oneself (Collins English Dictionary, 1980).
This subordinate theme explores how the participants experience negotiating and managing their mental illness symptoms with support from their therapeutic groups, actively seeking out what they need to remain mentally well and being compassionate towards themselves. Galvin appears to be a divergent voice, expressing that he does not feel ready to acknowledge his mental illness symptoms.
Adam reveals that through attending his group he has learnt to recognise ways he could modify his mental illness symptoms.
Adam: This is an on-going condition and I’ll be on medication for the rest of
my life (327-8). I am actually subject to certain amounts of levels of stress, more so than most people, so that’s something that I recognise (329-30). I have to sort of take in the possibility that perhaps at some point in my life I might have a relapse (324-5). I would come through (326).
Adam appears to accept that the impact of stress may be detrimental to his mental health since attending his group. His acceptance appears to help him recognise that
he could take action to diminish the intrusion of his mental health symptoms by taking medication and reducing stress.
Adam: It’s very important if you’ve got this condition that you try and face
things, face up to things in a small way to start off with. To try and build your confidence up (128-30). Part of that process involves things like attending groups and being with people (130-1).
Adam describes learning to negotiate his symptoms by utilising his group peers’ suggestions. He notices that his self-confidence and self-awareness have developed, and appears to regard the group support as beneficial in helping him to ‘process’ his situation and reflect on the positive changes he has made. Adam’s perspective seems to be to accommodate his mental illness as part of his individuality and uniqueness.
Gerry explores how through attending his group his insights into his mental illness appear to have changed his view of drinking alcohol.
Gerry: When I was ill I had experiences which I had to make changes, for
example I was drinking, binge drinking heavily, and one of the changes I made was stopping alcohol (366-8). I knew that the alcohol was causing the extremes, the extremes of the mania, the extremes of the depression (371-
2). A lot came from that decision, a lot of positive motivation (369).
Gerry appears to reflect on facing up to his mental illness, noticing the negative effects of alcohol. Gerry’s decision to avoid alcohol seems to have become a turning point for taking control and increasing his awareness that his action could produce positive results.
Gerry: I’ve got very strong memories of very bad self-acceptance. I mean,
you know, really testing myself. Me not liking who I was, being very self- conscious of myself, whereas in recent times I kind of learnt more of accepting myself (393-5).
Gerry seems to have become less critical and less hostile towards himself since attending his group.
Florence regards receiving different diagnoses as conflictual in terms of what they mean about her mental health.
Florence: Say for instance you’re being diagnosed as bipolar and you’re not,
you’re just clinical depression. That can go down on your medical thing and that can harm you, through the years, that you’re this, which is wrong (107-
9). I’ve been labelled different types of things like manic depression. What
was the other one? I was personality disorder, which I never had. The later one was bipolar, which I’m not. I was just simply clinical depression, severe, severely clinical depression (112-15).
Florence appears to accept her depressive symptoms but regards the other mental health diagnoses being at odds with how she experiences herself with mental illness. Florence disapproves of the diagnoses being recorded for years.
Andre outlines how his perceptions of his mental health have changed since attending his group.
Andre: I know I have to keep myself active because when I get into that
depressive side again (which I don’t want to get into), because I’ll fall down
(277-8).
Andre seems to accept the potential uncertainty of his future living with severe depression. He notices that keeping active helps him to stabilise his mood by managing his symptoms. He creates a poignant image of ‘falling down’, perhaps suggesting he fears becoming overwhelmed by managing his oscillating mood and symptoms.
David: I still need medication (373). Some people say ‘come off medicine’.
It’s not as simple as that. I’d rather have a little bit of medicine and talking therapies (375-6). Because without medication I’d probably be feeling extremely inferior and God knows what else (369). Once you’re stable on medicine you can, you can look at other ways, other treatment, other issues
(370-1).
David accepts that his stability and symptom control have been supported by taking psychotropic medication, which enables him to continue attending his therapy group; however, he accepts others in his group may feel differently about medication. David seems to tolerate there may be future uncertainties, saying ‘God
knows what else’.
David’s awareness of his voice hearing appears to have changed after using the interventions suggested by his group.
David: We explored strategies. It’s necessary for hearing voices. But we all
explored trauma (317-8). We all hear voices and some of the voices can be very distressing (318-9). And that was like a light bulb going off (320). I used to get terribly anxious as you would but when [facilitator] clarified that I thought ‘that’s good isn’t it?’ Things like that really he gave us pointers. He’s a voice hearer (323-5).
David appears to adopt the interventions the group facilitator suggests because the facilitator uses them successfully himself. David’s light bulb metaphor suggests he becomes aware of less critical ways to relate to his voices and to himself, offering him a sense of control over his voice hearing.
Galvin describes a somewhat divergent perspective of not accepting or facing-up to his negative mental health symptoms. He experiences returning to the same therapeutic group after a break of ten months.
Galvin: Most of ‘em said ‘it’s fantastic to see you come back, we’re stuck
with you ha!’ And yeah it’s amazing how when I felt low, they won (1147-8).
Galvin’s utterance ‘they won’ seems somewhat ambiguous, perhaps referring to his mental health symptoms which may have seemed overwhelming to him so that perhaps he senses losing the battle against them. Alternatively, maybe Galvin is referring to the other group members who may appear to have won over their mental illness symptoms, as they continued to attend the group when he was absent. Galvin appears to minimise his perception of his mental illness saying ‘I felt
low’.
3.4.2.1 Summary of Self-acceptance
Some participants notice their mental illness symptoms diminish, as they seem to develop agency and experience control in their lives. Some use group interventions; others develop self-awareness, perhaps as a consequence of attending their group, noticing that changes they make could have positive effects, maybe experiencing themselves more compassionately. Galvin’s focus seems perhaps more competitive and self-critical, seeming to minimise rather than acknowledge his situation. The analysis now turns to explore Embodiment.