Look, gentlemen, life is too serious to take seriously. I don’t know which wise man said that, but remember it to your grave. Just relax. Live your life one day at a time and to its fullest. Let the other guy worry about stress and anxiety.
Always remember this: Women are never free. There’s a cost for everything that’s worthwhile in life. The better the quality, the higher the cost. Remember the old saying, “You get what you pay for.” When I refer to “cost,” I don’t necessarily mean money. I mean it could be time, it could be effort, etc.
If you haven’t gone out with a woman for a long time, try this. Approach a below-average type looking woman, a woman that may not get as much attention as some of the prettier women get. Try to compare yourself to her. (On a scale of one to 10, if you think you’re a 7, then she should be a 5.) This will help you ease into the dating scene. The more average looking she is, the less the pressure it puts on you. By pressure, I mean that usually the more
beautiful that the woman is, the more competition you have to deal with—and this creates pressure. You especially don’t need this kind of pressure when you’re just getting into the dating scene. After you get to know this woman, if you choose, you can simply tell her that you want to start dating other women. It’s called “moving up the ladder.”
When thinking about getting laid, think about it in this way: Look at everything on an ultimate level. For example, evaluate it in this way—no man is better than another (each is considered equal). What matters is your attitude. We are all expendable and, ultimately, some day we all will die.
So, you have to grit your teeth and go for the best that you can get. Instead of asking the average, ordinary, woman to dance, or to let you buy her a drink, ask the most beautiful woman in the bar. You’ll be surprised at how many will say “Yes.”
On that note, I want to share a tip from a DJ friend of mine. I have yet to prove him wrong. He suggests that, if you like the night club scene, get there early, especially if you’re not a regular at the bar. This way you can ask the women that are there to dance before the energy of the club gets intense. Even if there aren’t any women you’d like to leave with, get up to dance. This is a trick that he learned from a hooker that used to come into his club. She said that
It works because you are advertising some strong messages by doing this. If you dance with many women, others will look at you and think, “He must be a nice guy.” It also works because you are being seen with women. In this case, you don’t actually have to be dancing. Have you ever heard guys complaining about how the best women seem to be interested in them when they’re with other women, perhaps on a date? Out of respect for the women that they’re with; these guys don’t pursue the “best women.” This is admirable when you’re on a date, but in your situation, you don’t have the same obligations as those guys do. You didn’t bring an anchor and your objective at this time is only to be seen with women. As the night goes on, you will have developed a few friendships that allow you to make return visits throughout the evening. This way you move about socializing and dancing until you reach the babe you’d like to meet. By doing this, you’ve also developed a “perceived value” by women who have observed you. Women like men that appear to be wanted by others, and they like to be seen with these guys! Now that you are so damn popular, you dog, you must practice leaving acquaintances without implied obligations or rudeness. This takes practice, indeed, because you don’t want to get a lousy reputation before you deserve one!
The one thing that you should always remember is that you must be patient. Don’t be tactless and mount the first woman that you see. Just kick back and scope out the situation before you move in
for the woman that you want. Carefully scan the area and pick out a few prospects.
When some women start to get comfortable in a relationship, they start to let themselves go. They might put on weight, stop working out, or lose interest in the way they look. To help prevent this from happening, I suggest that you project an element of mystery in the relationship. For example, try to avoid telling her too much about yourself. Avoid telling her how much she means to you, even if you think she is the best woman on the planet. Sure, you can give her a compliment once in a while, but don’t overdo it.
Most importantly, leave this “I love you” phrase for after the wedding. More often than not, when you mention the words “I love you” to a woman, she feels that she’s finally got you. So be very careful on your timing before deciding to utter those words. This isn’t true with every woman. But be careful about how you use that four-letter “L-word.”
Play it cool hints
• Never repeat yourself when speaking, unless someone asks you to do so.
• When entering a night club, don’t slobber over the first woman you see. Scope out the entire situation before making a move on a particular woman.
• Never seem overly anxious about anything, anywhere.
• No matter how bad things may seem, always stay relaxed. It does you absolutely no good to panic or worry.
• Never scam on a woman that’s with her boyfriend. This shows an incredible amount of bad taste, and no class whatsoever. Should she make a pass at you, get her number discretely. In this situation, never give out your number. Some women get off by watching their boyfriends make ground hamburger out of your face.
• Never ask a woman: “What’s your sign?” Never!
• Try to avoid talking about yourself as much as possible. Take any of her questions and turn them around toward her because she might be trying to tell you what she wants to talk about.
• Look, you were born into this world alone, and when you die, you leave it alone. Nobody is going to take you by the
hand and do things for you. Ultimately, you are the person that has to make it happen. So…do it!
• Don’t get caught in bed with a married woman.
Remember the famous old Clint Eastwood saying: “A man has got to know his limitations.”
And, my last bit of advice: Don’t take it personally if she turns you down. When a woman turns you down, don’t even let it phase you. In fact, act like you couldn’t care less, smile and walk away. You might even throw her a compliment as you’re walking away; tell her that you like her dress or the way her hair looks. Don’t ever worry about hurting your ego.
Again, remember this: There is someone for everybody—a woman for every man and a man for every woman. Statistically speaking, there are far more women on this planet than men. So, take your time and make sure that you find the right one (or two, or three). Have a great life!
Cover photo shoot in Newport Beach, CA
Tyffany Minx, Peter North, and Taylor Hayes at the Los Angeles Convention Center 1996